Mood Roller Coaster

I am not a roller coaster person. I’ve never found them fun. The ups and downs, the anticipation, the adrenaline rush – none of it is enjoyable to me. Roller coasters are never things that I seek out or ride willingly.

That being said, I have to laugh at myself for willingly jumping on this rollercoaster called job searching and transition yet again. I’ve always considered myself a pretty even-keeled person. I don’t tend to have emotional outbursts, people describe me as pretty laid back and I’m not usually moody (unless I haven’t eaten but that’s another story). I go through life being generally happy and even keeled. Well let me tell you -- that keel of mine seems to get a bit off kilter when I’m in that uncertain, vulnerable place called job searching.

Whenever I’m in an unsettled place or feel that life is a bit out of my control I find my emotions swinging crazily from day to day, sometimes even hour to hour. The smallest thing will elate me or depress me. I’ll obsess about insignificant things, I stop sleeping and my motivation to do anything productive zaps down to zero in the blink of an eye. I find myself in a sad and desperate place wondering how I got there so fast.

I hadn’t fully acknowledged this violent swinging until recently – or how much it impacts the amount of progress I do or do not make in this process. It’s made me realize that a big part of my success during this transition really relates to how well I manage and control these irrational swings of mood. Not something I normally need to spend much thought on in my life but very necessary during this time of uncertainty. I’ve found that putting my energy into faithfully monitoring when I might be headed down that dark path called doubt and voraciously focusing on keeping or regaining perspective is a vital part of making this transition and this job search successful. Keeping my perspective in check is crucial.

I know the action steps I need to take in order to select my vocation and search for a job, but what has been less familiar to me is learning how to manage the emotional ups and downs that that can so greatly influence the outcome of this tremendous journey. Each day I am learning and getting better. Slowly, oh so slowly I am taking steps that will lead me through this transition. I know that I still have a long way to go, but I’m feeling more and more confident in my ability to manage the emotional aspects of this journey. That is my success for now.