Living on the Edge

I believe in order to make any bold decisions or changes in your life you have to feel fully inspired, creative and motivated. And the only way to be fully inspired, creative and motivated is to step away from what is familiar and comfortable. You must step out onto a ledge and live “on the edge”. That ledge feels like a tremendous place of vulnerability, risk, the threat of failure ever looming. It’s a ledge, so naturally you could fall if you get too close to the edge. It’s a scary place.

Unfortunately I think that’s why so many people steer clear of it. They decide that they’d rather stay safely nestled in their sphere of comfort and familiarity. Even if what’s familiar and “comfortable” isn’t always the best place for them to stay. Since I’ve been one who has switched jobs….well, a bit frequently I’ve never understood why someone would stay in a job (or a home, or a relationship) that is damaging or unfulfilling to them. To me the scariness of the ledge is much less scary then the prospect of being miserable or just bearing with a problem indefinitely. Now that’s scary.

I also know that even though the ledge is scary it can also be a place of tremendous inspiration, growth and motivation. When you allow yourself to creep to the edge and feel the fear of the unknown and the fear of possible rejection, new possibilities reveal themselves around every corner and you find you have the energy, focus and determination to follow whatever possibility you choose as your path. The fear doesn’t ever really go away but your power to push through it increases and your energy, focus and determination grow exponentially. That is when we are able to make bold choices and changes in our lives.

I feel very lucky that I have forced myself (or been forced through situations) to step out on the ledge, face that fear and find a new path and a new direction that I never considered or thought possible before. I feel lucky that I have experienced that more than once before and I know that if I trust the process and I trust myself I will always end up in a better place after spending time on the ledge. That is exactly what made my difficult decision to leave my job this past summer a teensy bit easier – I know that failure (or something “lesser”) doesn’t have to be the only option out of difficult situations. In fact the ledge has proven time and time again that if you persevere it will take you exactly where you need to be and all of a sudden you’re in a better place – a place you were meant to be.

Sounds fantastic doesn’t it? Why wouldn’t more people do it if the rewards are just so great and let the fear be damned? Well don’t get me wrong – that ledge can be a REALLY scary place to be sometimes. Sometimes you find yourself slipping down the edge – feeling sorry for yourself, doubting yourself, feeling like a failure, feeling hopeless, feeling helpless, feeling alone, feeling like a loser – and the list could go on and on. Sometimes you feel like you can’t breathe and the fear seizes you so fully that you can’t move – not even an inch. You just want to crawl into a ball, cry and give up. It can easily become a slippery slope that tries to drag you to the bottom – leaving you a bruised, battered, shattered mess in a heap of despair.

Have I ever fallen fully to the bottom? Thankfully no I don’t believe I have. I have always had tremendous support and safety nets to help me through the toughest parts. I also know a secret about that ledge. Are you ready for it? All that power and control that the fear can have, all the havoc and destruction it can wreak on your confidence, heart and soul? That’s all power and control that you allow the fear to have. If you decide that it just can’t have it then it’ll never be able to fully pull you down to the bottom.

Deciding to not give fear the permission to consume you does take a lot of work. You need to constantly monitor and nurture your confidence and self esteem. You need to force yourself to keep moving and take at least baby steps to get you to a place where the fear is a bit less oppressive and overwhelming. You need to surround yourself with people who support you and people who will help you keep your perspective and feelings in check when they start to give in to the fear. You need to focus on how you can turn that fear into positive energy and momentum. You need to remind yourself that this is not your destination just a part of the journey that will ultimately strengthen you, allow you to grow and teach you much. None of it easy stuff, but when worked on relentlessly they can be very effective in keeping the fear at bay and stealing it’s power so that you can use it’s strength to your benefit.

Once the fear is in check (and you’re not constantly focused on falling off the edge) you then find yourself back in “the zone” of energy, focus, motivation and inspiration. You’re in the zone that moves mountains and takes your life in powerful directions. Be wary though – big bouts with fear often times lead people to step so far back from the edge of the ledge that they’re out of the zone completely and back into realm of safe, familiar and inactive.

Yikes, ok so that’s why so few people take the risk of standing out on that ledge. Getting into the zone and staying in the zone is quite a balancing act. A balancing act where one misstep could leave you plummeting to the bottom (maybe not really but it sure as hell feels that way at times).

Being in a job search when you are unemployed requires some extra special attention to the art of balancing while on the edge. Ok let me stop talking in such niceties – it’s a truly shitty place to be. When you’re job searching while unemployed you are forced to be out on that ledge pretty much 24-7. That leaves the fear a lot of time to wear you down and limitless time to work on dismantling your defenses. Hence you have to spend a lot more time and energy combating it which makes it harder and harder to get into that zone of energy and possibility. And believe it or not you have to also spend time fighting yourself from backing away from the edge all together. Not that being unemployed is a comfortable place but it is safer than keeping yourself out there with fear pummeling you from all sides.

Wow, I’m exhausted just reading that paragraph I just wrote! But I do think that it accurately sums up the internal battles that anyone who is job searching while unemployed faces. I have to put myself out there in order to find a job. (stepping onto the ledge). But what if I can’t find anything? What if no one calls? What if I don’t have the skills? What if I’m not good enough? (fears, fears, and more fears) If you can keep your defenses strong and your eye on getting yourself in the zone than eventually you’ll find yourself saying: Yes, it will happen! Yes, there are possibilities! Yes, I can make it happen! Yes, I can take the steps necessary (no matter how scary) to get myself there! (Being in the zone)

As the new year approaches my wish for each of you is two fold. First and foremost my wish is that you will find the courage to occasionally step out onto that ledge and experience the strengthening power and growth that comes from looking fear in the face and not backing down. Take the chance to experience the high of operating in the zone and the exhilaration of discovering new paths and possibilities that, before braving the ledge, never felt possible. Secondly, I wish that you will be able to be a relentless supporter and encourager to any friend or family member in your life who may be actively standing on the ledge battling away with their fears and doubts. I believe having strong cheerleaders, encouragers and perspective balancers that will stick with you throughout your entire time on the ledge (no matter how long it takes) is the key to keeping your courage on the edge and the energy to keep fighting to find the zone.

Thank you to all the cheerleaders, encouragers, perspective balancers and supporters in my life. I’m humbled by your generosity and kindness. You’re helping me through more than you’ll ever know.