Is traveling for everyone?

In my last post I wrote about the benefits of being a traveler versus being a tourist.  When I re-read it I feel like it makes traveling seem glamorous and a no-brainer.  But is it really that simple?  No it is not.  If it was more people would be doing it.  Traveling is hard, sometimes very hard.  You have to be ready to deal with exhaustion, confusion, frustration, discomforts, and a lot of unknowns.  This is no snoozy week on the beach.  It’s not for everyone.  If you’re not ready to challenge your comfort zones, do a lot of research to plan your own experience, and be open to whatever comes your way you may not be ready for this kind of travel.

I would argue however that travel could be for most people if they just give it a chance, are open to taking the good with the bad, and are ready for a challenge.  We all have characteristics and traits that make traveling easier or harder for each of us.  Some of my skills, attitudes, and qualities that make traveling easier for me include:

1.       I have fairly expansive comfort zones.  I don’t have to be comfortable and at ease at all times.  I can tolerate discomfort (physical, social, mental).  It may hurt, feel awkward, uncomfortable, or strange right now but it won’t last forever.  An added benefit is being able to truly and more genuinely appreciate the comfortable places in life when I’m in them.

2.       I like being by myself.  This is particularly important when traveling solo. I don’t feel uncomfortable spending lots of time with just me – I don’t go stir crazy or feel  uncomfortable spending time with just me, myself, and I.

3.       I’m a great map reader.  I like figuring out maps and how to use them – transit maps, road maps, waterway maps.  Give me a map that is halfway accurate and I can get us anywhere.

4.       I’m not a picky eater.  There are a few things I don’t care for and will try and avoid but in general I’ll try almost anything.  This is particularly helpful when traveling to places where food choices are limited, communication is limited by language barriers, and food is very different from what I’m used to.

5.       I’m a planner.  I like to research and plan where I’m going.  I’m very detailed in my packing lists and thorough in my planning.  This trait has helped me time and time again when traveling.

6.       I don’t like being a tourist.  Going to the big tourist site with the masses is not interesting to me and it can actually feel kind of dreadful.  I’m uncomfortable in places that try and pamper you and offer overly personalized service.

7.       I like being a non-descript, anonymous observer.  I try to blend in as much as possible.  I love just observing and watching other people.   I don’t need to be entertained every minute – just people watching is entertainment enough.

So traveling is easy breezy for me and a natural fit, right?  Au contraire.  Now for some of the traits and qualities that make it more difficult for me as a traveler:

1.       I’m an introvert so I can easily spend long periods of time alone not interacting with others.  This makes it difficult for me to connect with others, strike up conversation with strangers, and ask for help when I need it.

2.       I don’t trust easily.  When traveling you do need to keep your guard up for scams, unsafe situations or people, but in general, most people want to help you and aren’t trying to take advantage of you.   I have a hard time remembering this.  It feels easier to keep my guard up and not trust anyone.  But because of that I think I miss out on a lot of opportunities and connections with others. I know that some people can get offended when you don’t take their offered help and they truly just want to help me, but my tendency towards distrust makes this difficult.  I have to constantly push my trust boundaries trying to find the balance between open and trusting with safe and guarded.

3.       I have difficulty going with the flow.  Because I’m such a huge planner if a plan gets derailed or I don’t have time to do research or make a plan I can sometimes be paralyzed.  I don’t know what to do or how to proceed. I can be in amazing place and feel stumped as to what to do and how to engage with others.  I envy people who can just go on a whim and prayer and trust that all will work out for the best (as it usually does).  As I get older I’m getting better in this area but I still have a long way to go.

4.       I’m terrible at bargaining.  Almost everywhere in the world bargaining is the norm and I’ve never liked it.  I’m not good at it and it makes me uncomfortable.  If I’m in a place long enough I sometimes build up some bargaining techniques but this is something I’ll never be great at it.

5.       I don’t like being a tourist.  Sometimes when you travel you have to be a tourist.  If I want to see a popular site I’m going to have to go with the masses.  A lot of places I go I’m going to stand out as a tourist (aka rich American) no matter how much I want to blend in.

6.       I’m not great at asking for help.  I’m not great at this in real life nor when I’m traveling.  When traveling you’re going to need help and assistance from others.  I always wait a little too long – continuing to try and figure it out on my own long past what is reasonable. 

With each trip I’ve gotten better at playing to my strengths and working around my weaknesses when it comes to travel.   Hence my enjoyment and ease with travel increase with each venture.  I hope this got you thinking about what traits and qualities you have that would make you a great traveler and what qualities might make it more challenging for you.  The trick is to take advantage of the former and learn how to compensate or work around the latter.

Why I travel

The world is a book, and those who do not travel, read only one page. – Saint Augustine

I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world. –Mary Anne Radmacher Hershey

When I told people that I was traveling to Vietnam this past May I was surprised at the strong reactions I received from people.  Reactions varied from shock and disbelief to slight horror, particularly when I shared that I was traveling solo.  I’m not sure why, after all of these years, I am still surprised by these reactions.  Whenever I have traveled, the prevailing response has always been one of surprise, awe, and often time puzzlement.  Why would you want to go there?  Why would you go by yourself?  That doesn’t sound very relaxing.  You’re so daring, adventurous and/or brave. 

My trip to Vietnam felt like it garnered an especially heavy dose of these type of reactions. Was it because Vietnam was viewed as particularly “exotic” or unusual? Or because of the distance?  Or was it just that I hadn’t traveled in a while so I forgot how strong of a reaction this kind of travel evokes in those unfamiliar?  Whatever it was, for some reason, these comments wore me down.  I felt like I was constantly defending or justifying my choice – yes, it’s safe…no I don’t worry about traveling alone…yes, people do vacation in places like Vietnam….yes there are nice places to stay…no, you don’t have to be particularly adventurous or brave to travel there, etc., etc.

But, if I am totally honest I have to admit that at times leading up to the trip I let some of these reactions wear me down and doubts did start to creep in…am I crazy?...is this unwise or unsafe?...why do I do this?  Luckily for me I didn’t let those doubts consume me.  It helped to have a few friends in my life who “get it.”  No explanation needed – of course you’re going to Vietnam and of course it’s going to be awesome.  Whenever the doubts started to feel overwhelming or urged me to pull back I thought of these folks (or gave them a call) and instantly remembered that traveling to Vietnam is not a crazy, reckless idea. 
And, of course by day three of my trip I realized that all of my doubts and other people’s fears were indeed totally unfounded.  I was on an amazing adventure and, whether things went well or veered off track a bit, I was going to come back a stronger, wiser person with great stories to tell.

This got me thinking – why is there so much fear in the US related to being a traveler versus a tourist?  I say US because it does seem to be a unique peculiarity to our culture.  While traveling I met an abundance of Aussies, Kiwis, South Americans, Europeans, and Canadians.  It is part of their cultures to backpack through Southeast Asia, take a gap year, or jump a plane to Cambodia just because there is a good deal on plane tickets.  But US travelers tend to be few and far between.  We have loads of tourists in the US – people who go to see the sites of a particular place or go on a tour that schedules and designs every minute of your experience with little interaction or exposure to the real people and real life of a place.  Traveling is different.  With travel you go to experience the place, the culture, and the people.  Every minute doesn’t have to be planned and scheduled.  For some reason this sort of travel scares many Americans or ironically feels too “wild west” for their liking.  That is the ultimate irony and it makes me sad because the more I think about it the more I realize just how many amazing benefits there are to being a traveler.

So in the hope of inspiring others, alleviating fears, and demystifying and normalizing the travel experience I want to share with you some of the reasons why I travel.

1.     Learning about different countries and cultures.  And I’m not talking about just browsing museums or historical sites.  There is nothing like walking the streets of a busy city, sitting quietly in a small café or park for hours, or navigating a public transportation system to help you really begin to experience life and culture in another place.  I love to observe the customs and practices that are different from my own.  It raises my awareness of the customs and practices of my own country that I never noticed, took for granted, or accepted as “normal.”  “Normal” becomes very relative when you travel and the more I learn, observe, and understand of different cultural practices and customs the more I come to value and appreciate them and recognize them when I see them being practiced in other places.  I also love to observe how, no matter how different a culture is from my own, people are still people wherever you go.  I see a dad in Vietnam struggling to soothe an infant or calm down a two year old having a tantrum or a street vendor working the streets all day to put food on the table for her family.  At the end of the day we have more things in common as humans than we do differences.  You can only observe, learn, and experience these kinds of things when you deviate from the traditional tourist path – get out into the real, everyday life of a city, a place, a people.

2.     Remembering to travel light.  When you travel you can’t take heaps and heaps of things.  I usually take a travel backpack with just the bare essentials – two pairs of shoes, a few changes of clothes, small toiletries, a book and journal, etc.  The irony of travel is the lighter you pack the easier and more carefree your trip can be.  I find travel to be a good exercise in letting things go – if I can live for 2+ weeks with just the basics and be perfectly content and happy (in fact way more happy than if I carted around a bunch of stuff I didn’t need or use) then why do I have so much stuff in my life back at home?  Travel is a great reminder that there are very few things in life that we need to be truly happy and content and everything else tends to just drag us down in the end.  That lesson goes way beyond physical stuff too – emotional and mental stuff can weigh us down as much if not more than the physical. After a trip abroad I find myself purging in many areas of my life and being able to travel lighter, more efficiently, and agilely in my everyday life. 

3.     Travel can be cheap.  So many people think that traveling abroad is wicked expensive, an unattainable dream.  Not so!  I guarantee I spent less on my trips to Turkey and Vietnam then I would have if I had gone to Disney or traveled to a Caribbean island and stayed at a resort for a week.  I don’t stay in five star hotels, or eat in the fanciest restaurants but, as I mentioned in the first benefit of travel, part of travel for me is getting as close to everyday life in a country as is possible.  Money shouldn’t be a prohibitive factor in traveling abroad.  If you are a little big flexible about your destination and do your homework ahead of time you can find economical flights and accommodations in most places.

4.     Readjusting perspective.  When we are caught up in the everyday hamster wheel of life our problems, challenges, worries and our entire lives can feel very big and very, very important.  All I need is a few days in another place to shift my perspective back to more realistic proportions.  Traveling reminds me that the world is a very big place – my problems, my worries, and my life are just a tiny blip in the universe.  Travel also reminds me that there is a great deal more happening in the world than what we see in the US news.  What is considered “news” is all relative.  It is very freeing to be reminded that world does not revolve around the US and there is nothing big enough in my own life to worry, fret, and expend tons of energy on – I need to just let things go.  Ahhh….

5.     Expanding my comfort zones.  To me, this has been one of the biggest gifts of travel.  The more I challenge my comfort zones and do things that make me uncomfortable or scare me the bigger and more exciting my world becomes.  I am a worrier by nature – I could have easily become one of those people who says I can’t…I don’t…I won’t.  But luckily I learned early on in life that if I step into the uncomfortable zone and face my fears no matter how heart pounding and scary they feel the reward is always bigger and totally worth it.  My confidence grows, my pride for facing and overcoming the scary thing grows, and my world gets exponentially bigger because next time that thing doesn’t stop me in my tracks so easily.   

6.     Feeling of accomplishment.  I feel great satisfaction when I have packed with the exact right amount of things – using everything I brought and not missing anything I wish I brought.  What an accomplishment to successfully figure out how to travel in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language and don’t understand the public transportation system.  Or order a meal where you can’t recognize any words on the page.  How bad-ass do I feel when I have an awesome trip to a place that others say is too scary, too difficult, or too far?  Travel challenges your creativity, ingenuity and boldness.  And the sense of accomplishment you feel is unparalleled.  

7.     Humility.  There is nothing like being in a place where you don’t speak the language and you need help to inject some humility and humbleness into your life.  Travel reminds me that it is not all about me – I must have patience, gratitude, kindness in everything I do.  Humbleness also comes from recognizing that my way or my country or culture’s way is not the “right” way.  It’s just one of many ways.  

8.     Disconnect and reflect.  Sadly this benefit of travel is changing.  In the past going abroad meant you had to disconnect – no cell phones, no internet, limited connection to your life at home.  I LOVED this part of traveling abroad.  I think disconnecting is healthy and gives you the opportunity to step away, reflect, refresh, and renew yourself.  It also meant that you and your fellow travels were more likely to connect with each other.  Whether traveling with others or solo people really see each other, talk, and connect when technology is removed.  This recent trip to Vietnam showed me that this aspect of foreign travel is changing.  Wifi was everywhere and many travelers had their faces buried in their devices at every turn.  Now I have to make a conscious choice to stay disconnected or limit my connectivity when I travel.  Luckily for me though, many folks in the US don’t understand this kind of travel so I can just say "nope, I won’t be reachable while I’m gone. I don’t think it will be easy to get online when I’m in Vietnam." 

 

9.     Appreciation and gratitude. Every time I travel abroad I see things in my own country – attitudes, traditions, habits, practices that I see as broken or not quite as “perfect” as they may seem at first look.  At times it makes me sad and critical of the direction our country seems to be headed.  But I also return from foreign travel with a greater appreciation for all the great things about the USA.  I appreciate my life -- the privileges, comforts, rights and conveniences that I often times take for granted.   Heck I even find myself feeling thankful for the Department of Health food safety laws after traveling to some countries.  J I am so lucky to have been born in the USA.  For good or bad we are one of the freest, greatest nations in the world and traveling abroad means I will never, ever take that for granted.

Phew, well that was more than a few things about what I love and value about traveling. I hope you enjoyed.  My trip to Vietnam got me thinking about quite a lot so I think I might have one more blog post in me.  Stay tuned.  In the meantime I leave you with one of my favorite quotes by Joseph Campbell:  “The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.”