Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Playing Catch Up
So I’ve had all kinds of posts kicking around in my head these past two weeks but my motivation level and time to write has been low, low, low. I finally got inspired last night and cranked out some of the things that have been bouncing around my head. So I’m posting a bunch of stuff today. Sorry for jamming up the works with so many posts in one day. Enjoy the catch up…
Friends
I am very lucky.
In every job I’ve held and every place I have lived I found friends…good friends.
Not just friends of convenience or circumstance but friends of affinity, connection and friends of the heart.
Every time I dive into a new job or a new place I think to myself, “Will I find people I like? Will I find people who like me? Who I feel comfortable with? Who I connect with? Or have I hit my max on friends?” But time and time again I am blessed to meet more amazing people that become life long friends. I have friends who support each other, challenge each other, console each other and cheer each other on through every twist and turn that life brings our way. Friends I love to laugh with, gossip with, talk trash TV with, catch up with, hang out with, travel with, hurt with and celebrate with.
Best of all they are friends that even if we haven’t seen each other in months or even years we can easily slip back into the comfortableness and ease of our friendship as if no time has passed at all – with no judgment, blame or awkwardness. That is special …and rare.
Life has taken many of us in different directions and down very divergent paths, plus with all the moving and transitions I’ve taken on in my own life it makes staying in touch on a regular basis not always easy. I used to worry and stress that if we didn’t stay in touch regularly that my friendships would fade away. But what I’ve found over the years is that with true, real friendships time and distance don’t matter that much.
As I sit in the middle of my current life transition getting ready to figure out where I’m headed next in life I’m feeling two things: 1) I’m excited about the future friends that could come my way in this next turn in life; 2) I am feeling very confident and grounded (even though life is VERY ungrounded at the moment) because I know that I have the support, love, encouragement, good wishes and positive vibes from all of my wonderful friends.
I AM one of the luckiest people in the world.
Thank you for reading my mush and thank you for being my friend.
In every job I’ve held and every place I have lived I found friends…good friends.
Not just friends of convenience or circumstance but friends of affinity, connection and friends of the heart.
Every time I dive into a new job or a new place I think to myself, “Will I find people I like? Will I find people who like me? Who I feel comfortable with? Who I connect with? Or have I hit my max on friends?” But time and time again I am blessed to meet more amazing people that become life long friends. I have friends who support each other, challenge each other, console each other and cheer each other on through every twist and turn that life brings our way. Friends I love to laugh with, gossip with, talk trash TV with, catch up with, hang out with, travel with, hurt with and celebrate with.
Best of all they are friends that even if we haven’t seen each other in months or even years we can easily slip back into the comfortableness and ease of our friendship as if no time has passed at all – with no judgment, blame or awkwardness. That is special …and rare.
Life has taken many of us in different directions and down very divergent paths, plus with all the moving and transitions I’ve taken on in my own life it makes staying in touch on a regular basis not always easy. I used to worry and stress that if we didn’t stay in touch regularly that my friendships would fade away. But what I’ve found over the years is that with true, real friendships time and distance don’t matter that much.
As I sit in the middle of my current life transition getting ready to figure out where I’m headed next in life I’m feeling two things: 1) I’m excited about the future friends that could come my way in this next turn in life; 2) I am feeling very confident and grounded (even though life is VERY ungrounded at the moment) because I know that I have the support, love, encouragement, good wishes and positive vibes from all of my wonderful friends.
I AM one of the luckiest people in the world.
Thank you for reading my mush and thank you for being my friend.
Job Searching Woes
When I returned from my first voyage in 2005 I was ready to do a job search – I was excited to do a job search. I was ready for the challenge and the structure of a regular job. I was sad to leave my home in Maryland but I was ready.
This time I am not ready. I am tired…I need a rest…I’m not motivated…I want a summer vacation…I worry that I will not find something I want to do…I worry that I won’t find something I like in a place I want to live…I worry that I won’t find something that challenges me…I worry that I won’t find a job that pays me what I deserve and need to live comfortably… I worry that it will be a long process this time around.
I’ve been home for two weeks now and I haven’t even begun to think about the job search…haven’t looked at one website…haven’t looked at my resume…haven’t even sent out feelers to anyone. Zip, zero, nothing.
I think it’s different this time because the TSS job drained me to the core – I need to catch up on some serious down time and weekends. I need to re-energize a bit before I dive into this job search full force. I’m trying to give myself permission to leave it alone for awhile. I know it will come…I just need to be patient and allow myself some time to rest, rejuvenate, reconnect, re-energize and motivate.
All good things come to those who wait…right? Yup – I’m gonna keep thinking that. J
This time I am not ready. I am tired…I need a rest…I’m not motivated…I want a summer vacation…I worry that I will not find something I want to do…I worry that I won’t find something I like in a place I want to live…I worry that I won’t find something that challenges me…I worry that I won’t find a job that pays me what I deserve and need to live comfortably… I worry that it will be a long process this time around.
I’ve been home for two weeks now and I haven’t even begun to think about the job search…haven’t looked at one website…haven’t looked at my resume…haven’t even sent out feelers to anyone. Zip, zero, nothing.
I think it’s different this time because the TSS job drained me to the core – I need to catch up on some serious down time and weekends. I need to re-energize a bit before I dive into this job search full force. I’m trying to give myself permission to leave it alone for awhile. I know it will come…I just need to be patient and allow myself some time to rest, rejuvenate, reconnect, re-energize and motivate.
All good things come to those who wait…right? Yup – I’m gonna keep thinking that. J
Phones
I love em and I hate em. When I left for the ship I was glad to be rid of them. As most of you know I have a bit of a phone phobia. They totally stress me out. I lament, worry and stress about making even the simplest of calls. I can’t explain it or tell you why – it’s just always been that way for me. I’ve gotten way better over the years but anxiety still exists.
I have to admit it though – I missed my cell phone while I was away. The convenience and ease that cell phones offer just can’t be denied. It’s difficult to make plans and meet up with folks without one. Phones are also great for sharing a quick story with a friend or telling someone you were thinking about them, hearing about someone’s day or simply passing the time.
I was surprised at how much I missed my phone this time around. Cell phones have become much more intertwined and have a lot more of an impact on everyday life and connections than when I sailed in 2005. I didn’t miss my phone all that much when I sailed that first time. But when I lived in Philly I found myself using my phone a lot more – calling people while I walked home, dialing someone up when I was bored, etc. I didn’t realize quite how much I communicated on the phone until the phone went away and I felt the big hole that was left.
I adjusted though and I did end up enjoying not having any dependence on a phone. It was great to have to connect with people in person – no way to hide behind the phone. By the end of eight months though I was tired of the inconvenience and missed connections of not having a phone. I was ready to be back in the connected world.
Funny thing is – since I’ve been back I haven’t used my phone much. I got so used to being unconnected that I now forget that I CAN call people. I think it works both ways – people are out of the habit of calling me too. Mark called the other day and said he just realized that we hadn’t talked in awhile and he forgot that we could. It’s also weird with my friends from the ship. Phones were never a way that we communicated and now it’s the only way but it feels weird. I call them up to talk? Doesn’t feel quite right yet.
Ok I have to admit that a small part of me not using my phone much since I’ve been back probably does have to do with my phobia (I talk myself out of making about 70% of calls) but a lot of it has to do with the habit. I’m out of the habit but I’m sure I’ll be back in it quick enough. Back in the real world I am!
I have to admit it though – I missed my cell phone while I was away. The convenience and ease that cell phones offer just can’t be denied. It’s difficult to make plans and meet up with folks without one. Phones are also great for sharing a quick story with a friend or telling someone you were thinking about them, hearing about someone’s day or simply passing the time.
I was surprised at how much I missed my phone this time around. Cell phones have become much more intertwined and have a lot more of an impact on everyday life and connections than when I sailed in 2005. I didn’t miss my phone all that much when I sailed that first time. But when I lived in Philly I found myself using my phone a lot more – calling people while I walked home, dialing someone up when I was bored, etc. I didn’t realize quite how much I communicated on the phone until the phone went away and I felt the big hole that was left.
I adjusted though and I did end up enjoying not having any dependence on a phone. It was great to have to connect with people in person – no way to hide behind the phone. By the end of eight months though I was tired of the inconvenience and missed connections of not having a phone. I was ready to be back in the connected world.
Funny thing is – since I’ve been back I haven’t used my phone much. I got so used to being unconnected that I now forget that I CAN call people. I think it works both ways – people are out of the habit of calling me too. Mark called the other day and said he just realized that we hadn’t talked in awhile and he forgot that we could. It’s also weird with my friends from the ship. Phones were never a way that we communicated and now it’s the only way but it feels weird. I call them up to talk? Doesn’t feel quite right yet.
Ok I have to admit that a small part of me not using my phone much since I’ve been back probably does have to do with my phobia (I talk myself out of making about 70% of calls) but a lot of it has to do with the habit. I’m out of the habit but I’m sure I’ll be back in it quick enough. Back in the real world I am!
Finding a Family
8 months…17 countries…over 41,000 nautical miles...123 days at sea…100 days on land --- that is how much time about 24 of us on the TSS staff spent with each other living together, working together, traveling together, building together, creating together, making mistakes together and succeeding together. Whoa – that’s an intense work and living environment! It could easily be a recipe for implosion and disaster. I was very lucky though to work with an outstanding group of people on this crazy endeavor of creating a university on a ship. They were all passionate, professional and committed. We all worked crazy, insane hours in a very unique environment. It was definitely not always hearts and flowers between everyone but we always worked through the bumps – keeping our eyes on the mission and goals of what we were trying to create -- and in the end it seems absolutely amazing to think about what we, as a team, accomplished this past year.
It is awesome what we accomplished this past year and I am proud of that but there is another aspect of our lives together that I find myself appreciating today. This crazy, intense, isolated work and living environment created a very unique closeness and familiarity that developed over our months together. We knew each other habits, patterns, schedules, moods, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, hot buttons, and what things made each other smile.
This fact really struck me hard during our last couple of days on the ship. At every meal, during every event, throughout every interaction I realized just how intimate and comfortable we had become with one another. We could get each other what we needed during a meal without evening asking, we would share food off each other’s plates, conversation would flow freely or we could sit comfortably in silence. The comfortableness and familiarity that we developed went far beyond that of a normal work family. Because we not only worked together but lived together, ate together, played together, cried together and shared together in such an isolated environment we truly became like a family.
I think that is what made me so sad to leave on that last day. I recognized, again, what a unique environment that I was living in – an environment that would never be exactly the same ever again and never could it be recreated. How bitter sweet. I feel very lucky and honored to have been a part of that environment – to have developed such a strong closeness and intimacy with such an amazing group of people. I knew that being a part of the TSS inaugural staff would have a lot of highs and lows, a lot of uncertainties, a lot of opportunities and that the entire experience would be unique and intense. What I didn’t know, and was surprised and pleased to discover, is that I would find a family in the process. How great is that?
It is awesome what we accomplished this past year and I am proud of that but there is another aspect of our lives together that I find myself appreciating today. This crazy, intense, isolated work and living environment created a very unique closeness and familiarity that developed over our months together. We knew each other habits, patterns, schedules, moods, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, hot buttons, and what things made each other smile.
This fact really struck me hard during our last couple of days on the ship. At every meal, during every event, throughout every interaction I realized just how intimate and comfortable we had become with one another. We could get each other what we needed during a meal without evening asking, we would share food off each other’s plates, conversation would flow freely or we could sit comfortably in silence. The comfortableness and familiarity that we developed went far beyond that of a normal work family. Because we not only worked together but lived together, ate together, played together, cried together and shared together in such an isolated environment we truly became like a family.
I think that is what made me so sad to leave on that last day. I recognized, again, what a unique environment that I was living in – an environment that would never be exactly the same ever again and never could it be recreated. How bitter sweet. I feel very lucky and honored to have been a part of that environment – to have developed such a strong closeness and intimacy with such an amazing group of people. I knew that being a part of the TSS inaugural staff would have a lot of highs and lows, a lot of uncertainties, a lot of opportunities and that the entire experience would be unique and intense. What I didn’t know, and was surprised and pleased to discover, is that I would find a family in the process. How great is that?
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