Phones

I love em and I hate em. When I left for the ship I was glad to be rid of them. As most of you know I have a bit of a phone phobia. They totally stress me out. I lament, worry and stress about making even the simplest of calls. I can’t explain it or tell you why – it’s just always been that way for me. I’ve gotten way better over the years but anxiety still exists.

I have to admit it though – I missed my cell phone while I was away. The convenience and ease that cell phones offer just can’t be denied. It’s difficult to make plans and meet up with folks without one. Phones are also great for sharing a quick story with a friend or telling someone you were thinking about them, hearing about someone’s day or simply passing the time.

I was surprised at how much I missed my phone this time around. Cell phones have become much more intertwined and have a lot more of an impact on everyday life and connections than when I sailed in 2005. I didn’t miss my phone all that much when I sailed that first time. But when I lived in Philly I found myself using my phone a lot more – calling people while I walked home, dialing someone up when I was bored, etc. I didn’t realize quite how much I communicated on the phone until the phone went away and I felt the big hole that was left.

I adjusted though and I did end up enjoying not having any dependence on a phone. It was great to have to connect with people in person – no way to hide behind the phone. By the end of eight months though I was tired of the inconvenience and missed connections of not having a phone. I was ready to be back in the connected world.

Funny thing is – since I’ve been back I haven’t used my phone much. I got so used to being unconnected that I now forget that I CAN call people. I think it works both ways – people are out of the habit of calling me too. Mark called the other day and said he just realized that we hadn’t talked in awhile and he forgot that we could. It’s also weird with my friends from the ship. Phones were never a way that we communicated and now it’s the only way but it feels weird. I call them up to talk? Doesn’t feel quite right yet.

Ok I have to admit that a small part of me not using my phone much since I’ve been back probably does have to do with my phobia (I talk myself out of making about 70% of calls) but a lot of it has to do with the habit. I’m out of the habit but I’m sure I’ll be back in it quick enough. Back in the real world I am!