People...People...People

I’ve been living in the city now for just under six weeks and the most striking part to me so far is just how many people there are EVERYWHERE. I know what you’re thinking…duh…..I’m in NYC - of course there are people everywhere. That’s what I thought too when I first moved here. I’ve been to some VERY densely populated cities – cities like Shanghai, Hong Kong, Bangkok, Ho Chi Minh City and Chennai where personal space is a scarcity and you bump into (or are crushed into) someone at every turn. Some of these cities dwarf NYC in size and density but this is the first time I’ve actually lived in a city of this size.

Since I lived in a city before I didn’t think I would have too huge of a transition. NYC is a lot bigger than Philly but it’s still just a city. And yes – it IS a lot bigger and will take a lot more time to explore, find my way around and figure out my favorite places. No surprise there. But what did surprise me is just how different it is living in a city with such an extreme volume of people…everywhere…all the time. I’m used to being able to easily figure out when the peak busy times and slower times are at different places and be able to plan accordingly. I knew when to go shopping, when to get groceries, when to go to the gym, when to go to the DMV, when to go to the post office and when to pass on all of those things to avoid crazy crowds or lines. I have always prided myself on being able to figure out the most hassle-free times to run any kind of errand. Not as easy here.

The streets are crowded with people any time of day or night, cars fill the roads and make it difficult to cross the street any time of day or night, the subway is busy every time of day and night. The gym is packed at all times whether it’s 9am on a Sunday morning, 9pm on a Saturday night or 2pm on a weekday. I have to get to the gym 10 or 15 minutes ahead to get into any of the classes and people are constantly turned away. Movies that have been in theatres for over 2 months are sold out for the 7:10pm, 4:30pm AND 11:30am showings. Seriously? Sold out for an 11:30am show on a gorgeous sunny day? Over 100 cardio machines at my gym and they are all filled at 8:30pm at night??? Over 50 people in a workout class at 9am on the Sunday after Valentine’s day? Really? Yes, really. Whoa – this is going to take some getting used to.

At first it was crazy frustrating and a bit deflating but I’m finding that I just have to be a bit more creative in what I do and when I do it to avoid being overwhelmed by crowds or disappointed by being turned away. I try and choose gym classes that are less popular (but still good), I buy a movie ticket while I’m out running errands and then arrive 20 minutes ahead to get a decent seat, I sometimes take the extra 5-10 minutes to ride the bus and avoid the jam packed subway or wait for the next train when the current train is so packed people are literally squeezing in just before the doors close. I’m also adjusting my definition of “not crowded” and “slow time”. If I head out shopping at 9am on a Saturday (which in most places is an absolutely dead time at stores) there will be lots of people and maybe even a line or two but it’s still better than the lines and crowds during peak times.

I’m also beginning to understand why New Yorkers have the reputation of never smiling and being abrupt. I have a book about relocating to NYC that says New Yorkers may not smile but that does not mean they are unfriendly – if you ask for help many will kindly oblige – just don’t expect them to offer help without you asking. I totally get that now. I’m usually someone who tries to smile and make eye contact as I walk down the street or go about my day but on the streets of NY I find it’s just too much. There are just too many people – acknowledging and looking at everyone would wear me out and overwhelm me in as little as one day. And, most of the time I’m just focused on getting where I’m going or simply blocking everything around me out so that it doesn’t overwhelm me. I kinda go into autopilot – as if there is no one else around – not smiling, zoning out the things around me or just focusing on my destination. I think that’s what happens to a lot of people. It’s a survival tactic to avoid becoming too drained, overwhelmed or frustrated by the volume and density of people (at least for us introverts anyway). I guess that means I’m one step closer to being a real New Yorker, right?