Clinging to the Tire for Dear Life

I’ve been working at a ropes course facility for the past couple of months to make a bit of money while I am indulging in this quest for vocation and purpose. It’s been a number of years since I have worked on a ropes course and I’ve been surprised and delighted in the lessons it has been teaching me.

For those of you unfamiliar – a ropes course is a place where groups come for teambuilding and problem solving games, activities and initiatives. Low ropes are done at ground level using equipment like balls, logs, foam noodles, wooden planks, ropes, platforms and other props. We use silly games, energizers, and problem solving initiatives to help teams learn how to communicate more effectively and how to work together more effectively. High ropes are 40-50 feet off the ground and use harnesses and a belay system to use the elements. A climbing wall and a zip wire are examples of high ropes elements.

The high elements can be super fun and sometimes competitive. But what high ropes are best known for are the very profound moments and breakthroughs that can take place. I see battles taking place every day on the course – mental and emotional battles with fears, struggles to find courage and confidence to take just one more step higher. It’s great as a facilitator to see someone who has waged a tremendous battle – tears, seemingly dashed confidence and paralysis at some points -- completely breakthrough and overcome their fears to succeed. I’m amazed all the time at the people who are so scared to the point of almost feeling paralyzed not back down and successfully complete not just one but all of the high elements. It’s amazing to witness.

Some sit pensively on the ground waging battle silently. They suddenly rise get harnessed in and with super sharp focus and dogged determination they will breathe through the fear and make it straight to the top. Others start out just fine but about half way up they freeze – not able to move up or down. Some of these folks are quiet in their struggle -- a single tear or shaky legs are the only things that might give them away. Others are a bit more vocal – yelling out of fear or frustration, getting angry and screaming at themselves, crying. It’s interesting to see all the different methods for dealing with fear.

Some of those folks are able to work through it themselves and push on through the fear straight to the top. Sadly a small number do give up on themselves and surrender to the fear. Most, however, find their way through the fear with the help and encouragement of the facilitators and their team mates. As facilitators we remind them that they are safe, we are supporting them, we are confident they can do it, and we make suggestions about best ways to make it up the element, etc. The clapping, encouragement and reassurances from friends/teammates are also a huge part of breaking through the fear. Sometimes this process can take just a few minutes, sometimes someone will sit in the same place for 20 minutes or more before they make a move. It’s quite a privilege to witness and be a small part of this fear busting.

Last week we had a group of college students out on the course and while they were there I had my own breakthrough of sorts. We have an element on our course called the vertical playpen. Participants must climb up a swinging vertical pole with staples in it, climb over a horizontal beam onto and then over a gigantic tractor tire, then up onto a cargo net for their final ascent to touch the cable at the top that symbolizes success. Then they can just lean back and relax while we belay them safely down to the ground.

There was one student who made it up to the beam and then I saw her shut down. She wasn’t totally paralyzed but she sat clinging to the tire consumed by fear. She said she wanted to come down and she was done. I talked her into giving it a minute to see if she wanted to continue telling her I had every confidence that she could succeed. I could practically see the mental battle that was raging inside her head. The entire time her friends and I were encouraging her on, helping her regain her composure and perspective. After just a couple of moments she took a deep breathe and determinedly made it the rest of the way up without a single problem.

It was in that moment that it hit me. I clearly and strongly saw the parallel between that woman’s climb to the top and my own struggle in the job search and career quest. I saw myself in that woman clinging to the tire as if her life depended on it. I realized that in recent weeks I had been “clinging to the tire” not moving, contemplating giving up on finding a job with a great fit, letting the fear of finding a job at all consume me and keep me from moving forward. The same things that got the woman on the playpen moving got me moving too. I had to battle a lot of negative self talk and doubt, I needed to check in with friends who encouraged me and helped me regain a more positive perspective.

Making that connection between the mental struggles people have on the ropes course with my current situation in this place of transition and changed reminded me that this is all part of the process. It comforted me to recognize that it is moments like clinging to the tire that allow us to build up our strength, refocus, push past perceived obstacles and experience a much sweeter success when we do complete our task.

I don’t feel like I’m completely out of my paralysis yet but I am working through it and moving again. Hopefully the next time the fear, the doubts and the paralysis strike I will be better prepared and have the necessary supports in place to help me push through it more quickly. And in the mean time, I will continue to be inspired by and encouraged by all the brave individuals I assist on the ropes course every week.