Sun Worship

I don’t have many vices – I don’t drink too much (at least not very often), smoking never interested me, I enjoy TV but I can take it or leave it, I eat fairly healthy, and I work out on a fairly regular basis. I go for all my regular checkups to doctors and the dentist and overall I’m pretty conscience about maintaining my overall health and doing things to keep myself “young”. However there is one vice that I just can’t get enough of – THE SUN. I love it – I love the heat on my skin, the feel of the sun penetrating my body, the lift in my mood – I could sit outside all day baking in the heat and be happy, happy, happy.

Ok there is another thing I like about the sun - the vain part of me has to admit I like the look. When I’m tan I look better and healthier. Seeing that healthy glow in the mirror makes getting more sun addictive. I get such a sense of satisfaction standing in the shower after a long day in the sun seeing how much darker my skin has become.

Now I know that this is a very unhealthy practice. I see the moles and freckles multiple all over my body, I see the wrinkles and crevasses prematurely develop and deepen on my face, I know that skin cancer runs in my family and every minute in the sun increases my chances. I know all of these things and yet, still, something draws me to lie in the sun and soak it in every chance I get.

I rationalize my addiction by faithfully wearing sunblock….umm, but of course I can’t wear so much that I don’t get a tan. I also rationalize my addiction by remembering that I only get out in the sun 3 months a year and even then it’s usually relegated to just a few nice weekends. Normally that subdues some of my guilt about the damage I’m inflicting. Well both of those rationalizations are out the window for this year. For probably seven out of the eight months I am away I will be living in eternal summer – with the sun calling to me every day. Also, recently I have taken to spending about an hour outside every day after lunch and since I need to go back to work afterwards and it IS such a short amount of time I don’t always put sunblock on.

So the guilt is back full force – I could end up looking like a wrinkled up, old leather handbag that is dying of skin cancer, looking 10 years older than my actual age. Grrrreat. That’s a good thing to look forward to – and I can only look to myself for blame. Hate that.

Well, you know what? Despite all that I’ve decided I’m still going to soak in the sun. I figure you only live once and if sun worshipping is my worst vice than I’m doing pretty ok.

Just thought I would share my deep thought for the day with you. Hope it hasn’t gotten too cold at home yet :) Happy Halloween!