The Journey

Lucky

2010-01-30T20:50:00.000-05:00

I try not to read or watch much about the sky high unemployment rates or the stories of people who have been out of work for months and months…some for even years now. Losing houses, unable to pay their bills, having to eat at shelters – all sad and bleak realities in this economy. It’s just too depressing and makes the pessimistic side of me flare up and launch into a fit of worry that I will never get another job or whatever job I get it will take years and years to get it. Ugh…not a head space I need to be in to be able to put my best and most confident self out there. So I avoid those stories.

Recently, however, I’ve started to view these unemployment stories (and my related situation) in much less fatalistic terms. I’ve started to think about just how lucky I am. In fact I’m so lucky it’s ridiculous. It’s hard to even count the ways that I am lucky.

I am lucky that my grandparents were generous enough to pay for half of college and my parents generous enough to pay for the second half so I got out of school debt free. I’m lucky that I went to a grad school that had great graduate assistantships that got me out of grad school debt free. I’m lucky that I’m a voracious and relentless saver. I’m lucky that I have never been one to “live large”. I’m lucky that both my parents have great pensions and are able to both live comfortably in retirement. I’m lucky that I bought my car when I did so that it has been fully paid off for over three years and it’s still relatively “young” and in great running order (knock wood on that one). I’m lucky that I’m in exceptional health and don’t have any pressing long term health problems (double knock wood on that one).

I’m lucky that I had the “luxury” to make the decision to leave a job that was killing my soul without having another job lined up. I’m lucky that I didn’t have any major financial commitments that I couldn’t get out of. I’m lucky that my mom was kind enough to allow me to move back home for the second time in two years rent free. I’m lucky that I like to cook and my mom doesn’t so I don’t feel like a total mooch having her pay to feed me because she’s getting something out of the deal as well. I’m lucky that I’ve had great friends that have not judged me but supported and encouraged me through this difficult time. I’m lucky that I’ve had the time and motivation to do the serious soul searching about what I want out of life so that I can move forward with more clarity and intention. I’m lucky that I’ve found a couple small opportunities to teach and facilitate programs to keep my skills sharp, my confidence strong and my mind challenged during this transition time. I’m lucky for all of the lessons I’ve learned and perspective shifters I’ve encountered since this transition time started. I’m lucky that, while not necessarily ideal or fun, I can sustain this state longer term if need be without racking up major debt.

I’m lucky that I was able to successfully switch my field of work once with relative ease. I’m lucky that three of my past professional jobs have been gotten without any contacts or connections (that is RIDICULOUSLY lucky). I’m lucky with the success I’ve had in finding good, challenging jobs in the past. I’m lucky to have the skills and experience I have. I’m lucky to have worked in such diverse industries and environments. I’m lucky to have lived in a variety of cool places. I’m lucky to have met, worked with and learned from amazing people from all over the world. I’m ridiculously lucky to have had the opportunity to travel around the world not once but twice, visiting 22 countries all as part of my job! I’m lucky that I’ve taken risks in my career and not only always landed on my feet but found myself in better and better places each step along the way.

When the days of unemployment feel long, the prospects seem few and my confidence starts to waiver I just have to remember how lucky I am. I have to remind myself just how OK I am during this tough time and how someday I’ll look back at this tough time and remember how lucky I was to have had it because it led me to my next great adventure in life.

Living on the Edge

2009-12-15T18:44:00.001-05:00

I believe in order to make any bold decisions or changes in your life you have to feel fully inspired, creative and motivated. And the only way to be fully inspired, creative and motivated is to step away from what is familiar and comfortable. You must step out onto a ledge and live “on the edge”. That ledge feels like a tremendous place of vulnerability, risk, the threat of failure ever looming. It’s a ledge, so naturally you could fall if you get too close to the edge. It’s a scary place.

Unfortunately I think that’s why so many people steer clear of it. They decide that they’d rather stay safely nestled in their sphere of comfort and familiarity. Even if what’s familiar and “comfortable” isn’t always the best place for them to stay. Since I’ve been one who has switched jobs….well, a bit frequently I’ve never understood why someone would stay in a job (or a home, or a relationship) that is damaging or unfulfilling to them. To me the scariness of the ledge is much less scary then the prospect of being miserable or just bearing with a problem indefinitely. Now that’s scary.

I also know that even though the ledge is scary it can also be a place of tremendous inspiration, growth and motivation. When you allow yourself to creep to the edge and feel the fear of the unknown and the fear of possible rejection, new possibilities reveal themselves around every corner and you find you have the energy, focus and determination to follow whatever possibility you choose as your path. The fear doesn’t ever really go away but your power to push through it increases and your energy, focus and determination grow exponentially. That is when we are able to make bold choices and changes in our lives.

I feel very lucky that I have forced myself (or been forced through situations) to step out on the ledge, face that fear and find a new path and a new direction that I never considered or thought possible before. I feel lucky that I have experienced that more than once before and I know that if I trust the process and I trust myself I will always end up in a better place after spending time on the ledge. That is exactly what made my difficult decision to leave my job this past summer a teensy bit easier – I know that failure (or something “lesser”) doesn’t have to be the only option out of difficult situations. In fact the ledge has proven time and time again that if you persevere it will take you exactly where you need to be and all of a sudden you’re in a better place – a place you were meant to be.

Sounds fantastic doesn’t it? Why wouldn’t more people do it if the rewards are just so great and let the fear be damned? Well don’t get me wrong – that ledge can be a REALLY scary place to be sometimes. Sometimes you find yourself slipping down the edge – feeling sorry for yourself, doubting yourself, feeling like a failure, feeling hopeless, feeling helpless, feeling alone, feeling like a loser – and the list could go on and on. Sometimes you feel like you can’t breathe and the fear seizes you so fully that you can’t move – not even an inch. You just want to crawl into a ball, cry and give up. It can easily become a slippery slope that tries to drag you to the bottom – leaving you a bruised, battered, shattered mess in a heap of despair.

Have I ever fallen fully to the bottom? Thankfully no I don’t believe I have. I have always had tremendous support and safety nets to help me through the toughest parts. I also know a secret about that ledge. Are you ready for it? All that power and control that the fear can have, all the havoc and destruction it can wreak on your confidence, heart and soul? That’s all power and control that you allow the fear to have. If you decide that it just can’t have it then it’ll never be able to fully pull you down to the bottom.

Deciding to not give fear the permission to consume you does take a lot of work. You need to constantly monitor and nurture your confidence and self esteem. You need to force yourself to keep moving and take at least baby steps to get you to a place where the fear is a bit less oppressive and overwhelming. You need to surround yourself with people who support you and people who will help you keep your perspective and feelings in check when they start to give in to the fear. You need to focus on how you can turn that fear into positive energy and momentum. You need to remind yourself that this is not your destination just a part of the journey that will ultimately strengthen you, allow you to grow and teach you much. None of it easy stuff, but when worked on relentlessly they can be very effective in keeping the fear at bay and stealing it’s power so that you can use it’s strength to your benefit.

Once the fear is in check (and you’re not constantly focused on falling off the edge) you then find yourself back in “the zone” of energy, focus, motivation and inspiration. You’re in the zone that moves mountains and takes your life in powerful directions. Be wary though – big bouts with fear often times lead people to step so far back from the edge of the ledge that they’re out of the zone completely and back into realm of safe, familiar and inactive.

Yikes, ok so that’s why so few people take the risk of standing out on that ledge. Getting into the zone and staying in the zone is quite a balancing act. A balancing act where one misstep could leave you plummeting to the bottom (maybe not really but it sure as hell feels that way at times).

Being in a job search when you are unemployed requires some extra special attention to the art of balancing while on the edge. Ok let me stop talking in such niceties – it’s a truly shitty place to be. When you’re job searching while unemployed you are forced to be out on that ledge pretty much 24-7. That leaves the fear a lot of time to wear you down and limitless time to work on dismantling your defenses. Hence you have to spend a lot more time and energy combating it which makes it harder and harder to get into that zone of energy and possibility. And believe it or not you have to also spend time fighting yourself from backing away from the edge all together. Not that being unemployed is a comfortable place but it is safer than keeping yourself out there with fear pummeling you from all sides.

Wow, I’m exhausted just reading that paragraph I just wrote! But I do think that it accurately sums up the internal battles that anyone who is job searching while unemployed faces. I have to put myself out there in order to find a job. (stepping onto the ledge). But what if I can’t find anything? What if no one calls? What if I don’t have the skills? What if I’m not good enough? (fears, fears, and more fears) If you can keep your defenses strong and your eye on getting yourself in the zone than eventually you’ll find yourself saying: Yes, it will happen! Yes, there are possibilities! Yes, I can make it happen! Yes, I can take the steps necessary (no matter how scary) to get myself there! (Being in the zone)

As the new year approaches my wish for each of you is two fold. First and foremost my wish is that you will find the courage to occasionally step out onto that ledge and experience the strengthening power and growth that comes from looking fear in the face and not backing down. Take the chance to experience the high of operating in the zone and the exhilaration of discovering new paths and possibilities that, before braving the ledge, never felt possible. Secondly, I wish that you will be able to be a relentless supporter and encourager to any friend or family member in your life who may be actively standing on the ledge battling away with their fears and doubts. I believe having strong cheerleaders, encouragers and perspective balancers that will stick with you throughout your entire time on the ledge (no matter how long it takes) is the key to keeping your courage on the edge and the energy to keep fighting to find the zone.

Thank you to all the cheerleaders, encouragers, perspective balancers and supporters in my life. I’m humbled by your generosity and kindness. You’re helping me through more than you’ll ever know.

Small World, Big World

2009-11-17T10:22:00.000-05:00

When I have been settled in one place for any significant amount of time I always find myself, at some point, struck at how “small” my world is. My comings and goings limited to work, home, gym and the occasional weekend away to visit friends and family. My geographic roaming miniscule at best. At the same time I also notice how “big” everything in my life feels. The tiniest things in my life feel monumentally huge and scary. Work issues feel devastating, minor frustrations at home grind me down and deviances or changes from normal routine feel scary and overwhelming. My life perspective shifts off kilter and things are easily blown way out of proper proportion – causing me to stress and devote energy to things/issues that don’t deserve it.

It’s usually around that time that I begin dreaming or planning my next trip or job adventure abroad. When I travel, in particular when I travel abroad, my world grows expansive and I delight in physically expanding my global foot print. Exploring and learning about cultures and places that are completely different from my own is thrilling to me. Seeing the sites, breathing the air, hearing the noises, talking with people, being catapulted out of the familiar - My world grows “big”. At the same time my perspective on life and what’s important shifts back to a position that is much more comfortable and realistic. All those “big” things in my life are exposed as nothing more than trivial worries and wasted energy. They become “small”. The freedom of this shift allows me to relax and not sweat the small or big stuff when I travel. I become a different person – I take things as they come, I don’t worry as much and instead I spend my energy on totally engaging in the process and experience. I usually come home with a lightness that keeps me going and keeps my perspective in check for quite awhile.

Why am I writing about this now? Well, because for a variety of reasons my world is very, very “small” right now and I’m trying very hard to keep my perspective in check and not let the worries run amok. Since I’m not in a position to travel at the moment nor do I see the possibility of travel anywhere in the near future I have to find other outlets and avenues for expanding my world. So far the best outlet I’ve found is talking with other people who have lived in “expansive worlds” whether through travel or other exceptional life experiences. They can help talk me down from the irrational places I tend to creep and encourage me to not get caught up in the group think with other people who live in very small worlds.

I think learning strategies for expanding my world and managing my perspective are just another thing I’m meant to learn during this transition time. Here’s to the learning!

Clinging to the Tire for Dear Life

2009-10-11T17:09:00.000-04:00

I’ve been working at a ropes course facility for the past couple of months to make a bit of money while I am indulging in this quest for vocation and purpose. It’s been a number of years since I have worked on a ropes course and I’ve been surprised and delighted in the lessons it has been teaching me.

For those of you unfamiliar – a ropes course is a place where groups come for teambuilding and problem solving games, activities and initiatives. Low ropes are done at ground level using equipment like balls, logs, foam noodles, wooden planks, ropes, platforms and other props. We use silly games, energizers, and problem solving initiatives to help teams learn how to communicate more effectively and how to work together more effectively. High ropes are 40-50 feet off the ground and use harnesses and a belay system to use the elements. A climbing wall and a zip wire are examples of high ropes elements.

The high elements can be super fun and sometimes competitive. But what high ropes are best known for are the very profound moments and breakthroughs that can take place. I see battles taking place every day on the course – mental and emotional battles with fears, struggles to find courage and confidence to take just one more step higher. It’s great as a facilitator to see someone who has waged a tremendous battle – tears, seemingly dashed confidence and paralysis at some points -- completely breakthrough and overcome their fears to succeed. I’m amazed all the time at the people who are so scared to the point of almost feeling paralyzed not back down and successfully complete not just one but all of the high elements. It’s amazing to witness.

Some sit pensively on the ground waging battle silently. They suddenly rise get harnessed in and with super sharp focus and dogged determination they will breathe through the fear and make it straight to the top. Others start out just fine but about half way up they freeze – not able to move up or down. Some of these folks are quiet in their struggle -- a single tear or shaky legs are the only things that might give them away. Others are a bit more vocal – yelling out of fear or frustration, getting angry and screaming at themselves, crying. It’s interesting to see all the different methods for dealing with fear.

Some of those folks are able to work through it themselves and push on through the fear straight to the top. Sadly a small number do give up on themselves and surrender to the fear. Most, however, find their way through the fear with the help and encouragement of the facilitators and their team mates. As facilitators we remind them that they are safe, we are supporting them, we are confident they can do it, and we make suggestions about best ways to make it up the element, etc. The clapping, encouragement and reassurances from friends/teammates are also a huge part of breaking through the fear. Sometimes this process can take just a few minutes, sometimes someone will sit in the same place for 20 minutes or more before they make a move. It’s quite a privilege to witness and be a small part of this fear busting.

Last week we had a group of college students out on the course and while they were there I had my own breakthrough of sorts. We have an element on our course called the vertical playpen. Participants must climb up a swinging vertical pole with staples in it, climb over a horizontal beam onto and then over a gigantic tractor tire, then up onto a cargo net for their final ascent to touch the cable at the top that symbolizes success. Then they can just lean back and relax while we belay them safely down to the ground.

There was one student who made it up to the beam and then I saw her shut down. She wasn’t totally paralyzed but she sat clinging to the tire consumed by fear. She said she wanted to come down and she was done. I talked her into giving it a minute to see if she wanted to continue telling her I had every confidence that she could succeed. I could practically see the mental battle that was raging inside her head. The entire time her friends and I were encouraging her on, helping her regain her composure and perspective. After just a couple of moments she took a deep breathe and determinedly made it the rest of the way up without a single problem.

It was in that moment that it hit me. I clearly and strongly saw the parallel between that woman’s climb to the top and my own struggle in the job search and career quest. I saw myself in that woman clinging to the tire as if her life depended on it. I realized that in recent weeks I had been “clinging to the tire” not moving, contemplating giving up on finding a job with a great fit, letting the fear of finding a job at all consume me and keep me from moving forward. The same things that got the woman on the playpen moving got me moving too. I had to battle a lot of negative self talk and doubt, I needed to check in with friends who encouraged me and helped me regain a more positive perspective.

Making that connection between the mental struggles people have on the ropes course with my current situation in this place of transition and changed reminded me that this is all part of the process. It comforted me to recognize that it is moments like clinging to the tire that allow us to build up our strength, refocus, push past perceived obstacles and experience a much sweeter success when we do complete our task.

I don’t feel like I’m completely out of my paralysis yet but I am working through it and moving again. Hopefully the next time the fear, the doubts and the paralysis strike I will be better prepared and have the necessary supports in place to help me push through it more quickly. And in the mean time, I will continue to be inspired by and encouraged by all the brave individuals I assist on the ropes course every week.

Mood Roller Coaster

2009-10-08T21:05:00.001-04:00

I am not a roller coaster person. I’ve never found them fun. The ups and downs, the anticipation, the adrenaline rush – none of it is enjoyable to me. Roller coasters are never things that I seek out or ride willingly.

That being said, I have to laugh at myself for willingly jumping on this rollercoaster called job searching and transition yet again. I’ve always considered myself a pretty even-keeled person. I don’t tend to have emotional outbursts, people describe me as pretty laid back and I’m not usually moody (unless I haven’t eaten but that’s another story). I go through life being generally happy and even keeled. Well let me tell you -- that keel of mine seems to get a bit off kilter when I’m in that uncertain, vulnerable place called job searching.

Whenever I’m in an unsettled place or feel that life is a bit out of my control I find my emotions swinging crazily from day to day, sometimes even hour to hour. The smallest thing will elate me or depress me. I’ll obsess about insignificant things, I stop sleeping and my motivation to do anything productive zaps down to zero in the blink of an eye. I find myself in a sad and desperate place wondering how I got there so fast.

I hadn’t fully acknowledged this violent swinging until recently – or how much it impacts the amount of progress I do or do not make in this process. It’s made me realize that a big part of my success during this transition really relates to how well I manage and control these irrational swings of mood. Not something I normally need to spend much thought on in my life but very necessary during this time of uncertainty. I’ve found that putting my energy into faithfully monitoring when I might be headed down that dark path called doubt and voraciously focusing on keeping or regaining perspective is a vital part of making this transition and this job search successful. Keeping my perspective in check is crucial.

I know the action steps I need to take in order to select my vocation and search for a job, but what has been less familiar to me is learning how to manage the emotional ups and downs that that can so greatly influence the outcome of this tremendous journey. Each day I am learning and getting better. Slowly, oh so slowly I am taking steps that will lead me through this transition. I know that I still have a long way to go, but I’m feeling more and more confident in my ability to manage the emotional aspects of this journey. That is my success for now.

Choosing More Than Just a Job

2009-09-14T14:58:00.000-04:00

So as my monstrously long last post explained, I have lots and lots of work I am doing in order to make wise, informed decisions in this next job search and in life. This transition period seems very important because of this work and the time it allows me to digest and sift through it all. There is, however, another big factor weighing in during this career quest that is keeping me cautious and keyed into how I’m going about making decisions: LOCATION.

I’ve always been open to moving to new locations for work – I’ve done small town USA, suburbia, big city, bigger city and sailing vessels. I’ve lived very close to or in most of the major cities in the Northeast – DC, Baltimore, Philadelphia and NYC. All have been great adventures and I’ve enjoyed every place I’ve ever lived. However, after many moves and travels around the world I realize that I’m not 23 anymore and I don’t really want my life to be in a temporary or flux state indefinitely. While I’ve enjoyed every place I’ve ever lived, similar to the jobs I’ve held, there has always been some big chunk that has led me to say, “Well, this place is good – for now.”

While I was in NYC it hit me that I was approaching my 35th birthday and I’m still saying, “This is fine….for now” every time I move. How will I ever be happy anywhere longer term if my attitude is that this is just ok for now? When will I stop saying this is only good for now but never more than a couple years? When am I going start pursuing some of the things I want to do and have in my life outside of my career? I realize that the answer to these questions is simple – I just have to choose to do them and make them a priority in my life – equal priority to finding the right job. That’s the tough part – career decisions are easy to make a priority – so much of our identity, financial well being, pride, and time are linked with the jobs we hold. The other parts of life are easier to minimize, delay, sacrifice, put off, or de-prioritize. Well no more! All of those things – both big and little, external and visible as well as internal and personal are going to be major parts of the equation this time around.

If I want to have an outdoor space – I need to not settle for a place that doesn’t have that. If I want a pet – I have to only look at places that allow pets and I need to make sure I have a job that doesn’t have me working 50+ hours a week. Priorities. In the past I have sacrificed many of the things I want in my life because, “this will just be a steppingstone”, “this apartment is too good to pass up”, “this is the practical thing to do at this time”. I could go on and on with the rationales I come up with to sacrifice or delay the small things in life that I want.

So this career quest is more than just about selecting my next job or possibly switching career focuses. This career quest is including all parts of my life – both personal and professional. I want to make well informed, intentional, freely chosen decisions about my location as well as my career. So on that front my goal is to move somewhere and say “This place is good – period”.

On a Quest...for the Right Fit

2009-08-29T19:20:00.002-04:00

Some of you know my plans now that I’m back in NJ and some of you do not so I thought I would share. Be prepared –this is a long post.

Here’s the big plan: I have no plan to job search for at least a few months. What??!! Am I crazy? Probably your first response. Understandable, because at first glance it does sound a bit reckless and unwise. I left a job, don’t currently have a job (or any income) and I need a job – so why don’t I look for a job???

Well the short answer is – getting a job has never been my biggest obstacle. Getting a job that is a good fit for me….ahhh, that is the real challenge and something I have struggled with forever. I decided I need to delay the job search and instead use this opportunity to do some of the work and goal setting that I have needed to do for years but have avoided, ignored or rationalized away for far too long. I had career and life goals when I got out of grad school – I had direction and drive. What I didn’t expect along the way? To reach all of those goals by the time I was 30! Oh, I know, tough place to be, right? I know I am spectacularly lucky to have done the things I’ve done and had the experiences I’ve had. Problem is – I never replaced the goals I reached with new ones. For the last five years or so I’ve sort of just been bouncing along allowing my decisions to be left largely in the hands of fate. Sailing without a rudder so to speak.

I knew I enjoyed the training and teaching aspects of my past jobs sooo maybe I’ll look for a job in training. Bam! – I get a great training job in Philly! Hmmm…hospitality is probably not the best fit for me, I really enjoy int’l education and deep down I feel like I’m not done with the living-on-a-ship thing. Ka-pow!! --miraculously a fantastic job comes up that allows me to do that!! Ok, that job was short-term and living on a ship is not a long term, sustainable situation sooo what’s next?? Hmmm…don’t know, let me just see what comes up. SCREEECHH – careening head on into a big brick wall and I didn’t even see it!! No real plan? No goals, no direction – just “I’ll see what comes up”?? No wonder I am where I am today!! Luckily I got the job in NY that turned out to be a spectacularly bad fit for me. I needed that experience to help get me into the right perspective and right frame of mind to be ready and able to go on this career and life quest.

So that brings me back to today. What is my plan for the future? First and foremost I need to work on goals. I need to research and explore possible directions so that I can develop solid goals that will help drive me and my decisions. But there is much more to it than that.

Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the power and importance of finding the right fit in a job and career. Ever since I was a career counselor I’ve talked about the importance of finding the right fit in a job. It’s not just about getting a job but about finding a job, an organization, a boss that is a good fit for your interests, skills, values, etc. I always felt that my career path was progressing nicely because each job I took was a better and better fit for me. BUT….ah there’s that pesky word…but there was always some aspect of the job or the place that nagged at me and continually whispered, “This is not exactly the right fit”.

Finding the right “fit” in a career or job is very similar to shopping for the right outfit. Ever try something on and most of it looks great, maybe even spectacular, but if there is one small part that doesn’t fit – a bunch here, a gap there, a pinch at the waist, an awkward drape there – it messes up the whole thing? Sometimes the rest of the outfit looks so good that you buy it anyway foolishly thinking that that small thing won’t bother you too much – and you’re the only one who really notices so who cares? But eventually you realize you aren’t wearing the outfit much, if at all, because that small thing turns out to be a big thing that jades your whole attitude toward the outfit and how you feel in it. Well – that’s exactly how most of the jobs in my career have felt to me. Some jobs have been a poor fit for my talents, others a bad fit for my personality, still others have clashed with my interests or my values. Nothing enormous and glaring – mostly very small things that didn’t fit (some were things only I noticed) that eventually wore me down, led me to lose energy and motivation and left me seeking my way out.

Once I recognized this as a pattern and not just the progression of a normal career is when I decided I needed to do something very different this time around. I decided that I need to take some serious time to read, reflect, research and soul search before jumping into another job. I need to be more intentional and thoughtful about the direction I am headed.

When I’m honest with myself I realize that there have been three underlining drivers behind all of the decisions I have made. One – I have made decisions based on what others think – is this job good enough? Prestigious enough? Worthy of someone of my intellect and education level? Two – I have made decisions based on what was most practical. What job would be in the place that would be the most practical or easiest to live (or sometimes which job is in the least inconvenient place)? What job has the most pros and the least amount of cons? Three - I have made decisions by only looking at the options before me. Based on my skills and experience – what jobs would relate and be options for me? If my personality, passions, talents and values are a fit too that would fantastic but probably not possible. I’ll look at my options and pick the one that fits for most number of aspects since finding a truly ideal, right fit is probably not possible.

Looking at options doesn’t sound too detrimental but I’m coming to realize just how limiting that can be. It’s like shopping in the same clothes stores time and time again even if you know that their clothes typically don’t fit exactly right for you. But it’s what you know so you keep going back.

Instead of looking at just options I’ve starting exploring and thinking about what the possibilities are in my life and career. What are the possibilities versus just what are my options? I like the word possibility becomes it leaves all doors open but is still very much grounded in reality.

It may just be a simple attitude shift but it’s a very powerful shift. It makes me think of the show “What Not to Wear” on TLC. The show helps women address their shopping fears, confront their body image issues, address old habits and flawed thinking and learn skills for finding clothes that are the right fit for them. I love the show because there’s a lot more too it then just helping someone purchase a more fashionable wardrobe. Most of the show is about helping women shift their attitudes about shopping and themselves. Shopping doesn’t have to be a dreadful chore, a hopeless quest, or a selfish activity. It is possible to find beautiful, fashionable clothes for any body type that fit, feel good and look spectacular.

At some point in every episode the woman being help will say something like, “I never would have considered trying this on but I absolutely love it,” or “I never thought something like this would look good on me,” or “I didn’t know there were stores with clothes like these.” They start to look at and be open to the possibilities rather than just past options.

Once their attitude changes they then commit to and are energized by the process. They are willing to try lots of different things on or go to many different stores in search of the perfect top or accessory for the fabulous skirt they found. The more they shop and try things on the more they learn about what looks good on them and can more easily recognize what will or will not be a good fit for them. Shopping then becomes an easier, more efficient, fun, positive adventure full of surprises and successes. Whoa – powerful stuff.

I’m lucky – I’ve never really had a bad attitude about clothes shopping. I do see it as an adventure and a fun challenge. Sometimes I get down about it or frustrated if I can’t find what I’m looking for (who doesn’t) but overall I have a positive attitude and outlook because I know that is possible to find that awesome fit.

Looking for jobs has been a different story. I’ll admit I’ve tended to see job searching as a dreaded chore rather than a joyous process of discovery and possibility. That attitude right there has put me at risk of running back to the same stores, trying on something quickly and buying it even if it isn’t an outstanding fit. Hmmm…doesn’t really increase my chances of finding the ideal fit does it? So a big part of my “career work” right now is focused on unearthing and addressing some of my past hang ups and self defeating attitudes so that I can better set myself up for success and create a positive cycle of change rather than simply repeating old patterns. Whoa – feels big…possible, but big.

I really like this analogy to clothes shopping for another reason. Many people look at me and say, “Well sure you enjoy shopping because you are thin.” And it is true that being slim offers me a lot more options of places to shop and styles to wear, however, let me say it loud and clear – we all have body image issues, and challenges with finding clothes that fit properly – no matter our size or weight. Some of us may have more options than others but the amount of challenge in finding the right fit is the same for all of us. Number of options do not equal number of possibilities. I think it sometimes feels like a bigger challenge and some people are less successful in shopping simply because of their attitude going into it. If our attitudes all started off in the same positive place then we would all have equal challenge in finding the perfect fit. So what are my challenges? Well I have super broad shoulders for my body frame, my waist and ribs are outrageously wide in proportion to the rest of my body (so everything is too tight in the waist) and I have a super short body on top of having ridiculously long monkey arms. My sister can attest to the fact that finding the right fit for me can sometimes be a SUPER big challenge. Who knew, right?

Same goes for careers. Many people look at me and are quick to say, “but you have so many skills and strong experience – it should be easy for you to find the right fit.” Yes, I am lucky – my skills, experience and education do probably afford me many more options than some other people however finding the right fit is still the same challenge for me as it is for everyone else.

So right now I feel like I am putting myself through my own Career version of “What Not to Wear”. Reframing my approach and attitude to the process so that once I’m full swing into the job search I will hopefully be more efficient, knowledgeable, skilled and successful in finding the truly right fit for me. I’m going to stop trying to rush the process just to get it over with and instead engage in the process fully. Stop window shopping and go try a lot of different things on – research possibilities, talk to people, volunteer at different places, get part time jobs in totally different fields, etc.

This time around I’m also seeking the help I need along the way. Just like in “What Not to Wear” – the women need the honest feedback, advice and help of Stacy and Clinton to break old habits, see new possibilities, learn new skills and bolster their confidence along the way. We all occasionally need friends to be honest and tell us if we are headed down the wrong track of what we think looks good or bolster us up if we get discouraged by only seeing limited options. Heck if I hadn’t had some good people in my life when I was a 13 and 14 year old gangly, awkward, unconfident mess to help me see how to widen my possibilities of finding clothes that fit, felt good and looked great who knows what kind of fashion disaster I would be now!

Career and job searching is the same. How did I ever think I could do it without help? I’ve enlisted a couple friends to be my “career sounding boards and coaches” –helping me see possibilities, connections and insights and calling me out on the negative crap that can block my way to success.

So am I looking for the one right career for me? No that would be silly because it doesn’t exist. If there was only one perfect job than I’d have as much hope of finding it as I would of winning the lottery. Talk about depressing and de-motivating…ugh. It would be like saying there is only one perfect outfit for everyone. I think there are many possible “right fits”. The perfect outfit depends on what occasion you need it for, what styles you like and what feels good on you and what makes you feel good about yourself. That’s why I have to become even more solid about what’s important to me, who I am and what I want. I need to not only look at my skills and experience but I need to advocate for the needs of my passions, personality, values and talents. All are equally important in finding the right fit.

I also need to start learning loads more about different career fields and possibilities. I can’t just window shop and expect to find the right fit without trying it on. Plus how many of the possible options are actually put in the window? Few, very few. Even if there are many possible “perfect fits” out there, unless I take the time to go in, touch, feel, try on, move around in and test out the many possibilities chances are slim that I’ll ever find even one.

So here is what’s different this time around and why I am not job searching at the moment:

Goals from my last period of transition (aka being between jobs):
-- Do all the things I normally can’t do when I have a real job (go to the gym, visit friends and family, etc.) –CHECK

-- Use only window shopping (aka internet job postings) to find my next job -- CHECK

-- Find a job that is the right fit – uhh…no check there

Goals for this period of transition:
- Commit to the process and the possibility
- Develop new goals in all areas of my life
- Don’t limit myself to only looking at the options I know exist
- Don’t settle
- Reflect on my passions, personality, values and talents
- Read and research voraciously every career field or job I’ve ever thought about or anyone has ever suggested to me
- Push the exploration process beyond just reading and researching - talk to people, volunteer, ask questions, etc.
- Be open to feedback, rejection and detours
- Take the risk of sharing with others and reaching out to make connections
- Seek out the help and support I need
- Enjoy the journey of discovery and keep a positive, optimistic attitude
- Be patient with myself and the process
- END GOAL – find the right fit by making a well informed decision free of external pressures, romantic ideas, and conditioned thinking about what is or is not possible.

Tall order, very tall order…but I’ll say it one more time – definitely possible.

Thank you in advance for all of your love, support, guidance and encouragement as I wade into this world of uncertainty and vulnerability in order to embark on this scary, yet exciting adventure.

Phew, sorry to get so philosophical, rambly and ridiculously lengthy but I hope the shopping metaphor was fun!

Another Place to Call Home

2009-08-11T16:09:00.001-04:00

How’s this for irony:

Ever since I moved to Manhattan whenever I would return back to the city after a weekend or time away I would always have this surreal feeling upon returning. I would always think, “Is this really where I live? This is really my life? I live in NYC?” It was never a bad or dreadful feeling just a surreal one. I just felt like I had to adjust slightly to be back in “city mode”.

Right after I resigned from my job I headed down to Virginia to visit my god children and attend a self defense conference for a week. When I got back to the city and the bus dropped me off in mid-town Manhattan I got off and without even thinking I took a sigh of relief and thought, “Ahh…I’m home.”

I was quite surprised by the unexpected feeling and my next thought was, “Seriously? This place feels like home now?” The more I thought about it the more it did kind of make sense. Typically it takes about six months to completely transition and adjust to a new place and I was right at the six month mark in NYC.

At first I was saddened because I knew I’d only be there a couple more weeks. I was finally settled, adjusted and comfortable and now I had to leave. However the more I thought about it the less sad and more glad I became. NYC is home to me!

Every place I’ve ever lived has become home to me. That means that no matter how long I am away whenever I return there is a part of the place that just feels comfortable, familiar and, well…feels like home. I feel very lucky that NYC is one of those places to me.

By the Way...

2009-07-25T22:30:00.001-04:00

I may be a pro at it...but moving still sucks. :(

I'm a Pro

2009-07-24T08:25:00.000-04:00

Telling people that I chose to leave a job after only six months in this terrible economy without another gig lined up has produced some interesting responses. Some have thought I am down right crazy but most have been supportive and encouraging – neither response is super surprising. What has surprised me is just how many people seem to understand the leaving the job thing but they don’t understand the moving from NYC thing. Why wouldn’t I just look for another job? To me THAT is a crazy notion.

Why wouldn’t I just look for another job?!! It’s simple – in this job market there is no telling how long it could take to find another job and I’d be broke and penniless in about two months -- then what would I do? It would be crazy and careless to think that I could find another good job that quickly. I’m too much a realist and a planner to see it any other way. That’s the simple answer but there are two other bigger reasons as well.

First off, while I’ve really enjoyed my time in NYC if I am totally honest with myself I know that NYC is not where I am meant to be on a longer term basis. When I returned from the ship I knew that I wanted to make my life a priority – not just my job. I wanted to make sure I chose an area to live where I could see myself for a longer period of time. An area where I could find a place to live that wasn’t just “great – for now” – which is what I’ve always felt about the other places I’ve lived. For many reasons when the job in NYC came up I didn’t listen to that need – I ignored it and moved up here anyway. It was too great of an opportunity to pass up, right? Ha, ha – famous last words! Unfortunately I didn’t listen to my instinct and I took the job because, again, who wouldn’t take the job and move to NYC? And while I don’t regret coming up here at all – I needed this experience to get me to the mindset I’m in today and living in NYC has been such a great opportunity but again I look at that mindset of saying “why wouldn’t I take the job?” and realize that I was making decisions based on what seemed right on paper, so to speak, instead of what was truly right for me.

The second reason I didn’t for a minute consider staying in NYC is because this next job search is going to be so much more than just a task of finding a job (which is big and scary enough in itself - especially in this job market). I actually need to go on a career quest. I feel like I am at another big crossroads in my life and career. What do I want to do? What am I passionate about? Where do I want to live? In what place and what kind of job can I have the kind of lifestyle that I need and want? Not questions that can be answered quickly or solved just by applying to job ads. Which is why I thought that setting myself up for a longer term transition and search period was the smartest thing to do.

Now you might say – isn’t that what I did when I came home from the ship last spring? Sadly as I look back to that time I realize that I did not set myself up for success in the transition period nor was I asking the hard questions of myself and doing the things I needed to do in order to get myself to the next “right” place. This time around I’m going to look for an interim job to tide me over so that I can allow myself to have a little bit of a life and not feel stuck, stalled and destitute. I’m going to ask the hard questions and do research, exploration and take the time to make wise choices. I’m going to be open to different opportunities and I’m going to do what I need to do to set myself up for success in this transition period and in the next career move. These are really not things I would have had the luxury of doing if I stayed in NY – I’d have felt so much financial pressure to “get a job” that I would have taken anything that came up and most likely found myself in the same position I’m in now all over again.

While I don’t see this transition as being an easy one (frankly it’s scaring me to death right now) but I will say it again and again – I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE THIS OPTION. I’m thankful to my family for taking me in, for my friends for supporting and encouraging me, and for everyone who views my decision as brave and courageous rather than just crazy and foolish. I’m also super glad that I am a crazy planner and super saver who does not “live large” in my life.

That leads me back to the title of this post. As I think about it I wonder if part of the reason so many people view my job decision as wise but my move decision as hasty is because moving your life is big and overwhelming – something people don’t do very often. I’m a unique case though - I’ve done this moving thing more than a couple times. I’ve even done the moving my whole life into storage thing more than once before. I’m a pro at it. I was awake at 6am this morning mentally thinking through how I am going to pack each thing, how I am going to put things in storage so that what I might need will be accessible, taking a hard look at all that I have to see if there is anything else I can donate and get rid of. In some ways I enjoy the challenge of figuring it all out and making it work. A side benefit is that all this moving I’ve done has helped me to continue to pare down my life and my “stuff” so that I can live more simply – how fantastic! Don’t get me wrong – moving my whole life is still big, still overwhelming, extremely inconvenient and I still have way too much stuff but it doesn’t scare me to the same level as it does other folks. So now it’s time for breakfast then out to buy some boxes and pack, pack, pack. Just another normal day in my life.

If I Can Make it Here...

2009-07-20T22:20:00.001-04:00

My only real regret about choosing to leave my job so soon is that I will have to leave NYC without having had a chance to explore more. How many people get the chance to live in Manhattan? I am SO lucky to have had this opportunity. I got to live in one of the most amazing cities in the world!

Moving here was not as big of an adjustment as you might think. My real transition happened when I moved to Philly four years ago. THAT was a real transition getting used to city life. Moving to NYC was a bit overwhelming at first because it was so much bigger but in many ways NYC is an easier place to live than Philly. Well, more convenient anyway. Public transportation, restaurants and conveniences are much closer and easier to get to. I mean seriously within a three block radius of my house there are probably seven laundry places, three frozen yogurt places, five drug stores, four banks, two movie theatres, two bookstores, three Starbucks, three liquor stores, four Chinese massage places, a post office, a McDonalds, a fantastic hardware store and at least one restaurant for every ethnic food known to mankind. If I go five to six blocks I get to a Goodwill, two great parks (including Central Park), a river walk, the NYC library, the Met and one of the most convenient subway lines in the city. How fantastic is that? To top it all off I have a fabulous one bedroom apartment that was recently renovated, has lots of closet space (by NYC standards), two big windows with trees and sun outside (remember it’s about the little things in the city) and it’s only on the third floor so I only have to climb two flights of stairs. Woo hoo!

Sadly, my job did not leave me a lot of time to really explore the city properly. The fact that I moved here in the dead of winter and this spring was one of the rainiest on record didn’t help matters. Before you boo-hoo for me I have gotten to explore some things. I’ve at least passed through most major neighborhoods in the city – I even walked from 90th street all the way down to Battery Park - that’s about ¾ the length of Manhattan (thanks Susan!!), I’ve trekked to Queens and Brooklyn, gone to two plays and a musical and taken a boot camp class held on the Brooklyn Bridge.

Despite this small dent I’ve made in exploring the city I have decided to make it a priority to do something in the city every day for the next two weeks until my move. On my list: Coney Island/Brighton Beach, Roosevelt Island, more of Central Park, The Museum of the City of NY, the Bronx Zoo, The NY Transit Museum, the Chelsea Highline Park, Staten Island Ferry, yoga in Bryant Park, Broadway in Bryant Park, and two more musicals. I also have a few iconic restaurants on the list and any ethnic food I can’t easily get other places (Moroccan, Vietnamese, Ukrainian food anyone?). The best part? I can do all this and sleep in my own bed at night. It may sound weird but it kinda reminds me of being on the ship. I got to explore some amazingly iconic cities around the world while sleeping in my own bed all the while – who could ask for anything more?

So what has been my favorite part of NYC so far? The diversity and converging of many cultures all in one place has definitely been one of the most interesting and exciting parts of the city. It is no exaggeration to say that at least 65% of the time when I’m walking down the street I do not hear English being spoken. Not too unique, right? What is unique is that it is not just one or two languages that I hear being spoken but multitudes. Turkish, Mandarin, Ukrainian, Spanish, French, Vietnamese, German, Japanese, Portuguese, Greek…and I could go on and on. It’s not uncommon that I hear three to four different languages being spoken just during my walk to the subway. Where else in the world does that happen on a regular basis in almost every neighborhood?

Well if I’m going to get through my NYC list before the end of next week I better stop typing and get going. I’m actually hoping that this amazingly low humidity perfect weather lets up by sometime next week otherwise it is going to feel really difficult to turn the keys to my apartment over to the Super. I hope that each of you get the chance to experience the diversity, energy and excitement that is New York City at least once during your life!!

Tough Decisions

2009-07-18T14:40:00.000-04:00

I need to apologize to my once faithful readers for my neglect and broken promises. For many months I haven’t been in the right mental space for writing. Why is that? There are many reasons but the main reason is because I’ve been going through a bit of a struggle the last few months. It turns out that the job in NYC was a horribly bad fit for me. Actually, the job itself wasn’t a bad fit but the organization and its current state was a horribly bad fit for me.

In any job I’ve ever held, no matter how challenging or frustrating, I’ve always felt like I was growing in some way and adding value to the organization. I did not experience either one in this job. I felt like I was constantly spinning my wheels, not doing my best work and generally operating super far from my highest and my best. I did not like who I was there. Working for this organization mentally, emotionally and physically drained me down to zero, suffocated my soul, decimated my confidence and crushed my spirit. All this didn’t allow me any physical or mental energy to enjoy this tremendous city I live in, nor did it allow me to have much of a life outside of work. I enjoy working hard and putting in the time when I feel like I am truly contributing and adding value but when I don’t then what’s the point?

Well if you haven’t guessed from all the past tense talk above I recently resigned my position. It was a very tough decision but one that I feel very good about now. Ironically, with all of my lamenting about not contributing or adding value, when people started finding out I was leaving an overwhelming number shared with me that I had had a tremendous impact on them and the place even in my short time there. Luckily I made this decision for all the right reasons so this feedback did not make me waiver in my decision – I knew that the damage being done to me was more of a sacrifice than I was willing to make to “stick it out”. The awareness of what the job was doing to me mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually is also what led me to decide to resign without another job lined up.

Crazy, but true. So what’s next for me? At the end of July I am packing up and moving back to NJ. I’m actually kind of sad to be leaving NYC so soon but realistically I don’t think NYC is where I’m meant to end up permanently and if I stayed up here I’d be penniless within two months without a job. So it’s back to South Jersey for me. I’m actually feeling quite optimistic and hopeful for the future (despite this depressing economy) and feel like I have a TOTALLY different perspective on job searching and the search for what I’m meant to do next than I did when I came home from the ship last year.

I don’t regret my decision to take this job or move to NYC. Unfortunately I was working for this organization during an exceptionally tumultuous time and I do believe it is on the path to better days. Sadly my head and heart were just not it in to stick it out through the badness. It just wasn’t worth the risk of it permanently damaging me, and I’m also not sure that even on the other side there would be enough to sustain and fulfill me.

I am thankful and appreciative of this experience because it’s given me clarity about what I need and want in life. It has also given me a total perspective shift about this next period of exploration and job searching. Like I said I am feeling hopeful, optimistic and focused.

Stay tuned for future posts with updates on my move and progress on my vision quest for what’s next. I feel my creative and mental energy coming back!

People...People...People

2009-02-21T19:21:00.001-05:00

I’ve been living in the city now for just under six weeks and the most striking part to me so far is just how many people there are EVERYWHERE. I know what you’re thinking…duh…..I’m in NYC - of course there are people everywhere. That’s what I thought too when I first moved here. I’ve been to some VERY densely populated cities – cities like Shanghai, Hong Kong, Bangkok, Ho Chi Minh City and Chennai where personal space is a scarcity and you bump into (or are crushed into) someone at every turn. Some of these cities dwarf NYC in size and density but this is the first time I’ve actually lived in a city of this size.

Since I lived in a city before I didn’t think I would have too huge of a transition. NYC is a lot bigger than Philly but it’s still just a city. And yes – it IS a lot bigger and will take a lot more time to explore, find my way around and figure out my favorite places. No surprise there. But what did surprise me is just how different it is living in a city with such an extreme volume of people…everywhere…all the time. I’m used to being able to easily figure out when the peak busy times and slower times are at different places and be able to plan accordingly. I knew when to go shopping, when to get groceries, when to go to the gym, when to go to the DMV, when to go to the post office and when to pass on all of those things to avoid crazy crowds or lines. I have always prided myself on being able to figure out the most hassle-free times to run any kind of errand. Not as easy here.

The streets are crowded with people any time of day or night, cars fill the roads and make it difficult to cross the street any time of day or night, the subway is busy every time of day and night. The gym is packed at all times whether it’s 9am on a Sunday morning, 9pm on a Saturday night or 2pm on a weekday. I have to get to the gym 10 or 15 minutes ahead to get into any of the classes and people are constantly turned away. Movies that have been in theatres for over 2 months are sold out for the 7:10pm, 4:30pm AND 11:30am showings. Seriously? Sold out for an 11:30am show on a gorgeous sunny day? Over 100 cardio machines at my gym and they are all filled at 8:30pm at night??? Over 50 people in a workout class at 9am on the Sunday after Valentine’s day? Really? Yes, really. Whoa – this is going to take some getting used to.

At first it was crazy frustrating and a bit deflating but I’m finding that I just have to be a bit more creative in what I do and when I do it to avoid being overwhelmed by crowds or disappointed by being turned away. I try and choose gym classes that are less popular (but still good), I buy a movie ticket while I’m out running errands and then arrive 20 minutes ahead to get a decent seat, I sometimes take the extra 5-10 minutes to ride the bus and avoid the jam packed subway or wait for the next train when the current train is so packed people are literally squeezing in just before the doors close. I’m also adjusting my definition of “not crowded” and “slow time”. If I head out shopping at 9am on a Saturday (which in most places is an absolutely dead time at stores) there will be lots of people and maybe even a line or two but it’s still better than the lines and crowds during peak times.

I’m also beginning to understand why New Yorkers have the reputation of never smiling and being abrupt. I have a book about relocating to NYC that says New Yorkers may not smile but that does not mean they are unfriendly – if you ask for help many will kindly oblige – just don’t expect them to offer help without you asking. I totally get that now. I’m usually someone who tries to smile and make eye contact as I walk down the street or go about my day but on the streets of NY I find it’s just too much. There are just too many people – acknowledging and looking at everyone would wear me out and overwhelm me in as little as one day. And, most of the time I’m just focused on getting where I’m going or simply blocking everything around me out so that it doesn’t overwhelm me. I kinda go into autopilot – as if there is no one else around – not smiling, zoning out the things around me or just focusing on my destination. I think that’s what happens to a lot of people. It’s a survival tactic to avoid becoming too drained, overwhelmed or frustrated by the volume and density of people (at least for us introverts anyway). I guess that means I’m one step closer to being a real New Yorker, right?

The Next Chapter

2009-01-18T19:21:00.001-05:00

I can’t believe it’s been over two months since my last post! A lot has been happening these past couple of months. The next twist in my journey has revealed itself…I’m finally on course to my next portage!

With the economy taking a nose dive in September and the job market following closely behind I was in the process of bracing myself for a much longer period of unemployment. Then, seemingly out of no where, an opportunity practically dropped into my lap.

I am now working as Director – Learning & Development for an upscale hotel in NYC. Yes – NYC! Never thought I would move here but I’ve been here a week and really enjoying the city. It’s not as overwhelming as I thought. The job is a great fit for my skills and talents.

I have been quite lame about updating this blog recently. I am going to try and update it more regularly – sharing stories of transitioning to and adventuring in NYC. I promise to be more faithful!

In the Wilderness

2008-11-11T11:08:00.000-05:00

This summer I got to go on the annual Big Kids trek to Canada. When I was in college I took part in a wilderness orientation trip that took us canoeing in Algonquin Provincial Park in Canada for two weeks before school started. It was an amazing trip and I worked as a Peer Counselor for the program during all four of my college years. When some of my PC peeps graduated they couldn’t imagine not going up to the park every summer so they started what has come to be known as the Big Kids trip. So every year, since about 1995, there has been a group that makes an annual pilgrimage up to the park to paddle for a week. There is a core group of us who tend to cycle in and out over the years but the trip is open to anyone. Over the years it has grown to include friends, spouses, other former students (there is even talk of creating a new version of the trip for all the folks with kids). Some years there are as few as 5 of us and other years as many as 20+. I think it’s an awesome and amazing legacy and I’m proud to be a part of it.

Anyway it had been about four years since I last paddled so it was great to get up to the park and catch up with friends. Going up to the park has always been a reflective place for many of us – a place that allows us to get totally away from the distractions of the real world and focus on what is important in life. A time to reflect on where we stand in life and what we want out of life. Boy did I need that this summer! Unfortunately no lightning bolt of enlightenment hit me while we were paddling but I did start thinking about why we did this trip as part of orientation for college.

At the end of each trip with the university, Dave – the director of the program, would get all of the trail crews together around the campfire at the outfitters and begin to weave a connection between the highs and lows of the trail experience with the challenges and triumphs that awaited the new students in college. The tough portages, the sunny paddles, the friends made, the flooded tent, the help from others that got you through, the laughter, the tears, the aches and pains, etc – all of it is an analogy for life. It was a phenomenal metaphor for thinking about life – and not just college life. Dave would talk about remembering this trip when hitting the rough patches. Remember that long portage when you were wet, tired, muddy, exhausted, your spirit felt broken and didn’t think you could take another step? But you did do it. You did make it and whatever tough time you’re going through – you’ll get through it too. I’ve come back to that lesson more than once throughout my life.

Well this summer I started thinking about that metaphor and where I am in the journey. Even though I’m going through this very uncertain transition period I’m certainly not on that sweaty, exhausting, spirit-breaking portage. But I’m also far from that relaxing paddle or the portage when you get in the zone and cruise. So where am I? It only took me a minute to decide. I’m sitting in the middle of a sunny lake looking at the map and trying to figure out how the hell to find the next portage. That sums up my position in life at the moment perfectly.

Being on a lake trying to make sense of the map so you can figure out which direction to head to find the next portage can be fun, challenging, confusing and frustrating all at the same time. It can try your patience, be totally discouraging, and feel scary at moments (ahhh….I’m totally lost). It can also be super rewarding when you spot the sign or the landmarks and the map suddenly “click” and become crystal clear.

There are fellow paddlers who will stress you out, make you feel stupid, and confuse you even further or push you to pick a direction before you are sure. There are also fellow paddlers who will talk it through with you, sit patiently while you study the map, think of a new alternative (let’s pull off for lunch and then move on), yell out landmarks as they spot them and those that will offer an insight or new perspective that helps things click for you on the map.

Sometimes you get it wrong – that island you thought was an island is not an island…the turn in the lake is actually a cove and not your way out…the sign you spotted is actually a bunch of leaves. Sometimes the wind picks up or the threat of rain presses you to think quickly and make a decision. When you do figure things out and spot the sign or see the next major landmark you were expecting it can be exhilarating and your energy and momentum soar.

All of that is my life right now. I’m getting ready to transition to my next “portage” and the exact location of that portage is not clear to me quite yet. I’m feeling the same feelings, the same energy boosts and road blocks, the same supports and hindrances as being in the middle of that lake.

This is a very comforting metaphor to me right now. The wind might pick up and press me to choose a course or I might just have to pull over to eat lunch and clear my head or I may just need the help of a friend or colleague to help me see a new opportunity or a new perspective on the landmarks surrounding me --- whatever happens I know that I will get through it successfully. Eventually I will find my course that takes me to the next portage…the “right” portage…the one that will take me where I’m supposed to go next. I just need to take a deep breath, keep studying the map and remembering to use the resources all around me. I haven’t gotten permanently lost on a lake yet and ….

Taking Time

2008-10-29T12:41:00.001-04:00

I apologize for the long delay in postings. The summer just flew by and I can’t believe it’s already the end of October. I have no idea where the time has gone. Time literally seems to fly at warp speed when you are not working full time.

And let me tell you - all this time off has been quite amazing! So what have I been doing? Basically I’ve been doing the simple things. When the summer began and the economy and job market weren’t looking so hot I made a decision – if I was going to be unemployed for any significant length of time I had to put this time to good use and not just sit around waiting for a job to come along. I committed to myself that I was going to do all the things everyone always wants to do but can never find enough time to do.

So what is that for me? Lots of things – soaking up the sun on the beach…reading good books…staying up late to watch the Olympics (and now the Phillies!!)…cooking big dinners (and having it on the table before 7pm)…taking every exercise class under the sun…sleeping late…enjoying every little giggle and new development in little Zach’s life…delighting in getting to see him almost everyday…having him smile when I walk in the room…spending a week with Parker and Campbell rather than just a brief, fleeting weekend…stopping by the Four Seasons to visit my old colleagues before heading off to NYC for a spontaneous weekend in the city…I could go on and on.

Being able to help out with the small things and being more spontaneous has been especially nice. Stay at my sister and brother-in-law’s all day while the painter is working? No problem! Come over to watch Zach while my sister showers and cleans the house or just takes a nap? Give me 20 minutes and I’m there! Drag my suitcase from the train station to center city to have brunch with a friend before hauling it back to the station to catch my train? Cake! Take an extra day to get home from Williamsburg so I can stay overnight in Baltimore and catch up with my college roommate? Of course! Decide just two weeks before to join my grad school roommate on her road trip to Nova Scotia to work on an organic farm for two weeks? Yup – did it! The freedom to help out at the drop of a hat and plan things at the very last minute has been fabulous.

I did have some specific goals during this time. The first is one I’ve already mentioned – spending time with friends and family. When absorbed into real life it is always difficult to make time to catch up with everyone – especially when there is travel involved. With at least four trips to NYC, three trips to Williamsburg, three trips to Baltimore, two trips to Canada and probably 10+ trips to Philly already logged along with the countless hours with Zach and the family I think I’ve been fairly successful in hitting this goal.

My second goal was to focus on my fitness. I’ve always had great hopes of exercising every day but sadly reality usually falls much below that when I’m living in a “normal” work world. In July I broke down and decided to suck up the cost to join a gym. Since then I have been working out 5-6 days a week – boot camp, circuit training, cardio, yoga, pilates, and weightlifting every week. I’m probably in the best shape of my life right now and it feels great. I’m really hoping I can keep the momentum going when I’m eventually back in the “real world”.

Now before you start getting too jealous I can tell you that life is not all hearts and flowers. Having to look for a job while no money is coming in, no home to call my own and a job market that just seems to keep spiraling into deeper and deeper pits of despair can be downright depressing at times. Job searching while being unemployed can wreak havoc on your confidence and feel like things are moving slower than molasses (if at all). I’ll sometimes go two or three weeks without finding any worthwhile job prospects and then when I don’t hear anything back from the ones I do apply for the little spark that was there gets totally trampled. It can be tiresome and it is definitely an emotional rollercoaster. I’ve definitely had my fair share of moments of doubt, frustration and fear. But, overall, I have to say I’m pretty proud at how I’ve been managing this search. I don’t think I’ve slipped into desperation mode – applying for anything and everything and entertaining the idea of positions or places that would be a terrible fit for me. That can so easily happen when you are searching while unemployed. I know that I just have to continue to be diligent in my search and, more than anything, I have to be patient while I seek out the “right fit”.

As I sit here typing and thinking about the last six months I’m realizing that there has been some progress on the job front. As each job prospect comes and goes and I seek out new resources or explore new things my thoughts and feelings about what I want to do and where I want to be have slowly been evolving, defining and redifining themselves. Can I tell you right now exactly what I want to do or where I want to be? Of course not. But the best decisions I’ve made in my life have been made on instinct – they just felt right – and, thankfully, they always were. Despite that, believe it or not, I struggle to hear and listen to my instinct. So as more and more time passes, I’m trying to listen more and more deeply for that voice throughout this process. And, I am finding it easier to hear it as time goes on.

Sounds easy, right? Well not always. I may be hearing the voice more clearly but it’s not always easy to listen and to obey what that voice is telling me. How do I turn down a job prospect that would pay me loads of money; move me to a warm, beautiful, exotic place; and offer challenging work? Especially when there are no other prospects in the picture? Not easily – I’ll tell you that. But in the end if it doesn’t feel like it would be the right fit for me I just can’t go forward with it. SOOOOO not easy when fear and stress are trying constantly to stifle that voice and contradict it with all the reasons why I need to just get a job.

So how do I combat fear and stress and all of the messages that they send me? First off, as that voice from within gets clearer and stronger it gets easier to trust it and listen to it. If something feels right I need to go with it and if something doesn’t feel right I need to let it go – all other evidence be damned. Secondly, instinct has never steered me wrong before. There have been times when people have thought I was crazy to take a certain position or switch fields but trusting myself and my instinct has always paid off in spades. I also know that if I don’t listen to that voice and take a job that doesn’t feel like the right fit for me I will pay for it later. Whatever uneasiness or apprehension I have will only grow and could ultimately lead to me feeling like I made a mistake or a bad decision.

So for all those reasons I know that I just have to stay knee deep in the uncertainty and doubts for now, knowing that eventually things will become clear and the right fit will come along. Sounds magical, right? I wish there was some magic involved but in reality it’s messy, self-esteem-pummeling and just plain icky. BUT I know that this is all part of the process. All things happen for a reason – even this long transition period. I’m supposed to learn something here. I’m supposed to focus on fitness, cherish my time with friends and family, keep exploring job options, expand my mind by reading more, reflect more, and come up with some new goals for the next couple of months. Somewhere in all of that I know and trust that I will discover the path I’m supposed to take next in this journey called life – I will find the “right fit” that is next for me.

Olympic Year

2008-08-27T18:12:00.001-04:00

I have thoroughly enjoyed being glued to the TV these last two weeks watching the Summer Olympics. I watched everything – swimming, gymnastics, track, volley ball, beach volley ball, rowing, rhythmic gymnastics, diving, opening/closing ceremonies and on and on. I think I enjoyed this Olympics more than any previous just because I could stay up late to catch all the excitement (and not feel guilty or exhausted at work).

Throughout the two weeks of coverage the commentators talked a lot about things that happened in the 2004 Athens Olympics. It got me thinking a lot about what I was doing in 2004 and what has taken place in my life since then. In some ways 2004 seems like it was yesterday and in other ways it feels like a lifetime ago.

In 2004 I was living in Owings Mills and had been Director of Orientation at Towson for almost three years. SINCE 2004 I have traveled around the world TWICE….Visited 22 countries…Switched jobs three times…Lived on a ship for a cumulative of one year…Moved my life to Center City Philly….switched career fields…and the best part - became a God mother AND an Aunt. YIKES – that’s a lot of changes in just four years!

2004 – that last summer Olympic year was a big year for me because that was the year that I decided to leave Towson, pack up my life and work for Semester at Sea. That decision (as most big life decisions) changed the trajectory of my career and life. Now here I am in 2008 – another summer Olympics year and another year of big changes for me. I’m excited to see how the rest of this year will play out for me and what direction my life and work will take next. Watching all the athletes’ dedication, passion and commitment has been inspiring to me as I explore and seek out options and opportunities for this next leg of my life and career journey. It also makes me wonder what amazing and great things will take place in my life (and all of our lives) over the next four years. Where will be when the next Summer Olympics begin in London in 2012? I guess that’s all part of the adventure and excitement of being on this journey that we call life.

Free Time...

2008-06-23T17:26:00.002-04:00

Believe it or not it is a blessing AND a curse. Since I’ve been home I’ve had quite a bit of free time. There are lots of amazing perks to having a lot of free time. I know many of you have been envious of my ability to take this kind of time between jobs. I know that I am AMAZINGLY lucky.

It’s been really nice to be able to sleep in, help my sister out with the baby, be available to do things whenever I want, visit friends all over the East Coast whenever it works for them, catch up on reading magazines, sit on the beach on a gorgeous day during the middle of the week and basically be the boss of my schedule 24-7. It is great!

There is, unfortunately, a darker down side to all of this free time. First off there is this little concept called inertia that operates in life just as much as it does in the physical world. When I have a lot to do I am able to be super productive in all areas of my life. When I don’t have as much to do it can feel tortuous to get motivated and inspired to do anything at all. I procrastinate and feel super low energy around even the simplest things. Let me tell you how fun that can make staying on task with a job search.

Secondly, having all this free time has meant I spend a bit more time by myself. Now don’t get me wrong – I enjoy my own company and have no problem spending lots of time with just me. The problem is that all this time by myself gives me nothing but time to live in my head and think about things – and unfortunately all that thinking can sometimes lead to obsessing. Which then leads to plenty of opportunity for doubts, fears and negative thoughts to burrow into my head, fester, grow and multiple until they get out of control. I’ve stressed over everything from the job search, to my health, to where I want to live next, to what I want out of life, to money, and on and on.

Unfortunately much of this stressing and thinking has been unhealthy and unproductive. Not the kind of thinking and reflecting that leads to grand revelations or solid decisions about life, but thinking that can shatter confidence and paralyze with fear. I can see it when it happens and feel it when it happens and I know that it’s totally irrational but, at times, I’ve felt helpless to control it – I just can’t get out of my head. Let me tell you that is an icky place to be.

Luckily I have been able to recognize it for what it is – unhealthy, distorted, obsessive, harmful thinking. Just recognizing the irrational-ness of this kind of thinking helps me to regain some perspective and distance myself from the potential negative impacts this kind of thinking can have on life.

In recent weeks I’ve tried to do some things differently in my schedule to lessen the types of situations and time that leaves me most vulnerable to all this obsessive thinking. I’ve tried to give myself more to do. I’m focusing on catching up on current events and world affairs (I was almost completely out of the loop for 8 months)…I’m working on a gigantic home improvement project at my mom’s house (refinishing floors and painting)….I’m exercising more (this helps a lot)…I’m giving myself goals for writing on my blog...I’m spending time on the beach soaking up the rays (the beach has always been a place for positive, productive thinking for me).

The other thing I’ve been conscious about doing is spending more time with different people and getting away on a regular basis. I don’t know how stay at home moms do it. Spending whole days watching Zach have been great but they can also drive me to the edge and cause me to become a bit batty. I’ve found the need to be super intentional about making sure that I get plenty of adult time (again – to help me get out of my head). Also, running away for a couple days to visit friends has been tremendously helpful too. Nothing helps snap me out of a negative thought pattern faster than to move myself to a different physical environment and spend time with different friends. That has been the best medicine for helping me keep perspective and get out of my head.

Who knew that having so much free time would be so much darn work, right?? I think this struggle with my thoughts is all part of the process of transitioning back and starting down the road of figuring out what is next for me. This road is definitely going to be longer than it was last time I returned. My job right now is just to try and develop the right habits and routines that will keep me in the proper mindset for finding out what I’m supposed to do and where I’m supposed to be next in life.

Public Transportation

2008-06-22T21:49:00.000-04:00

I love it! Through all of my travels over the years I’ve gotten pretty savvy at navigating and using all types of public transportation. My two years in Philly really confirmed my love of public transportation. I relied on the buses and subways to get me around the city when I didn’t have my car in the city (which was 90% of the time). It was easier, cheaper and more convenient than using my car all the time.

Since I’ve returned home from TSS and felt the shock of outrageous gas prices I’ve found myself relying on public transportation more than ever before. Eight weeks home and I have been on 16 trains, 2 buses, multiple subways and a handful of trolleys. All of which have turned out to be more economical and cheaper than if I had driven. I am usually a big road tripper but I’ve only road tripped twice since returning home and that was only because public transportation was not available.

There is a bit of an adjustment when moving from relying on a car to using public transportation. It does sometimes take a little bit longer to get where I am going, I have to be more strategic about when I travel and I can’t take tons of stuff with me because I do have to haul it around a little bit. Those minor inconveniences are easy to adjust to and they will always pale in comparison to the benefits. I can relax, sleep, read and write while I’m traveling, I never have to sit in traffic or get stressed out about it, I don’t have to stop to pee or get food while traveling and with current gas prices it is officially cheaper for me use any and all forms of public transportation (including trains which aren’t the cheapest) rather than driving.

My one wish would be that cities in the US had better public transportation systems. The US is a car country. Public transportation is sometimes not as consistent, thorough or convenient as it could or should be. Unfortunately I think that discourages people from using it. Other cities around the world have WAY better and more elaborate public transportation systems than most places in the US. Perhaps one of the positive side effects of high gas prices could be that cities look to expand and improve their public transportation options. Wishful thinking? Perhaps, but a girl can dream can’t she?

If you live near a metropolitan area and have felt the crunch of gas prices I would encourage you to check out the public transportation options available to you. You might be surprised at how easy, convenient and economical the options might be.

Playing Catch Up

2008-05-07T14:34:00.001-04:00

So I’ve had all kinds of posts kicking around in my head these past two weeks but my motivation level and time to write has been low, low, low. I finally got inspired last night and cranked out some of the things that have been bouncing around my head. So I’m posting a bunch of stuff today. Sorry for jamming up the works with so many posts in one day. Enjoy the catch up…

Friends

2008-05-07T14:33:00.002-04:00

I am very lucky.

In every job I’ve held and every place I have lived I found friends…good friends.
Not just friends of convenience or circumstance but friends of affinity, connection and friends of the heart.

Every time I dive into a new job or a new place I think to myself, “Will I find people I like? Will I find people who like me? Who I feel comfortable with? Who I connect with? Or have I hit my max on friends?” But time and time again I am blessed to meet more amazing people that become life long friends. I have friends who support each other, challenge each other, console each other and cheer each other on through every twist and turn that life brings our way. Friends I love to laugh with, gossip with, talk trash TV with, catch up with, hang out with, travel with, hurt with and celebrate with.

Best of all they are friends that even if we haven’t seen each other in months or even years we can easily slip back into the comfortableness and ease of our friendship as if no time has passed at all – with no judgment, blame or awkwardness. That is special …and rare.

Life has taken many of us in different directions and down very divergent paths, plus with all the moving and transitions I’ve taken on in my own life it makes staying in touch on a regular basis not always easy. I used to worry and stress that if we didn’t stay in touch regularly that my friendships would fade away. But what I’ve found over the years is that with true, real friendships time and distance don’t matter that much.

As I sit in the middle of my current life transition getting ready to figure out where I’m headed next in life I’m feeling two things: 1) I’m excited about the future friends that could come my way in this next turn in life; 2) I am feeling very confident and grounded (even though life is VERY ungrounded at the moment) because I know that I have the support, love, encouragement, good wishes and positive vibes from all of my wonderful friends.

I AM one of the luckiest people in the world.

Thank you for reading my mush and thank you for being my friend.

Job Searching Woes

2008-05-07T14:33:00.001-04:00

When I returned from my first voyage in 2005 I was ready to do a job search – I was excited to do a job search. I was ready for the challenge and the structure of a regular job. I was sad to leave my home in Maryland but I was ready.

This time I am not ready. I am tired…I need a rest…I’m not motivated…I want a summer vacation…I worry that I will not find something I want to do…I worry that I won’t find something I like in a place I want to live…I worry that I won’t find something that challenges me…I worry that I won’t find a job that pays me what I deserve and need to live comfortably… I worry that it will be a long process this time around.

I’ve been home for two weeks now and I haven’t even begun to think about the job search…haven’t looked at one website…haven’t looked at my resume…haven’t even sent out feelers to anyone. Zip, zero, nothing.

I think it’s different this time because the TSS job drained me to the core – I need to catch up on some serious down time and weekends. I need to re-energize a bit before I dive into this job search full force. I’m trying to give myself permission to leave it alone for awhile. I know it will come…I just need to be patient and allow myself some time to rest, rejuvenate, reconnect, re-energize and motivate.

All good things come to those who wait…right? Yup – I’m gonna keep thinking that. J

Phones

2008-05-07T14:31:00.000-04:00

I love em and I hate em. When I left for the ship I was glad to be rid of them. As most of you know I have a bit of a phone phobia. They totally stress me out. I lament, worry and stress about making even the simplest of calls. I can’t explain it or tell you why – it’s just always been that way for me. I’ve gotten way better over the years but anxiety still exists.

I have to admit it though – I missed my cell phone while I was away. The convenience and ease that cell phones offer just can’t be denied. It’s difficult to make plans and meet up with folks without one. Phones are also great for sharing a quick story with a friend or telling someone you were thinking about them, hearing about someone’s day or simply passing the time.

I was surprised at how much I missed my phone this time around. Cell phones have become much more intertwined and have a lot more of an impact on everyday life and connections than when I sailed in 2005. I didn’t miss my phone all that much when I sailed that first time. But when I lived in Philly I found myself using my phone a lot more – calling people while I walked home, dialing someone up when I was bored, etc. I didn’t realize quite how much I communicated on the phone until the phone went away and I felt the big hole that was left.

I adjusted though and I did end up enjoying not having any dependence on a phone. It was great to have to connect with people in person – no way to hide behind the phone. By the end of eight months though I was tired of the inconvenience and missed connections of not having a phone. I was ready to be back in the connected world.

Funny thing is – since I’ve been back I haven’t used my phone much. I got so used to being unconnected that I now forget that I CAN call people. I think it works both ways – people are out of the habit of calling me too. Mark called the other day and said he just realized that we hadn’t talked in awhile and he forgot that we could. It’s also weird with my friends from the ship. Phones were never a way that we communicated and now it’s the only way but it feels weird. I call them up to talk? Doesn’t feel quite right yet.

Ok I have to admit that a small part of me not using my phone much since I’ve been back probably does have to do with my phobia (I talk myself out of making about 70% of calls) but a lot of it has to do with the habit. I’m out of the habit but I’m sure I’ll be back in it quick enough. Back in the real world I am!

Finding a Family

2008-05-07T14:29:00.000-04:00

8 months…17 countries…over 41,000 nautical miles...123 days at sea…100 days on land --- that is how much time about 24 of us on the TSS staff spent with each other living together, working together, traveling together, building together, creating together, making mistakes together and succeeding together. Whoa – that’s an intense work and living environment! It could easily be a recipe for implosion and disaster. I was very lucky though to work with an outstanding group of people on this crazy endeavor of creating a university on a ship. They were all passionate, professional and committed. We all worked crazy, insane hours in a very unique environment. It was definitely not always hearts and flowers between everyone but we always worked through the bumps – keeping our eyes on the mission and goals of what we were trying to create -- and in the end it seems absolutely amazing to think about what we, as a team, accomplished this past year.

It is awesome what we accomplished this past year and I am proud of that but there is another aspect of our lives together that I find myself appreciating today. This crazy, intense, isolated work and living environment created a very unique closeness and familiarity that developed over our months together. We knew each other habits, patterns, schedules, moods, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, hot buttons, and what things made each other smile.

This fact really struck me hard during our last couple of days on the ship. At every meal, during every event, throughout every interaction I realized just how intimate and comfortable we had become with one another. We could get each other what we needed during a meal without evening asking, we would share food off each other’s plates, conversation would flow freely or we could sit comfortably in silence. The comfortableness and familiarity that we developed went far beyond that of a normal work family. Because we not only worked together but lived together, ate together, played together, cried together and shared together in such an isolated environment we truly became like a family.

I think that is what made me so sad to leave on that last day. I recognized, again, what a unique environment that I was living in – an environment that would never be exactly the same ever again and never could it be recreated. How bitter sweet. I feel very lucky and honored to have been a part of that environment – to have developed such a strong closeness and intimacy with such an amazing group of people. I knew that being a part of the TSS inaugural staff would have a lot of highs and lows, a lot of uncertainties, a lot of opportunities and that the entire experience would be unique and intense. What I didn’t know, and was surprised and pleased to discover, is that I would find a family in the process. How great is that?

Amsterdam

2008-04-23T21:17:00.000-04:00

It was weird to end the voyage and this entire experience in a new port. I was so focused on saying goodbye, packing up my stuff and thinking about home when all of a sudden it hit me…”Wait, we have one more place to explore!” My mom and I spent three days in Amsterdam before heading home. We walked all over the place – visiting churches, souvenir shopping, eating and just soaking in all the sites. It was so nice to stay in a nice hotel in a nice part of the city. It felt so luxurious.

Amsterdam is a beautiful little city. Canals and bridges everywhere. Quaint row houses, cafes and cobblestone streets at every turn. Interesting feel and character to the city - a mix of old, elegant Europe and the free, open attitude of sex, drugs and everything goes. I found it quite hilarious when we went to visit the Old Church that is located in the Red Light district. Here is this grand old church surrounded by sex shops, marijuana shops and prostitutes hanging out in windows offering their wares. Quite a contrast.

I think my mom enjoyed her first experience abroad. I’m glad that I could be there to show her around and explore a new country with her. The only down side was how expensive it was. Amsterdam is EXPENSIVE! It was, by far, the most expensive port we visited in eight months. It even beat Barcelona which was pretty darn expensive. $5 for a small bottle of Coke, $35-55 cab rides, $16 for two days of tram rides, $35-50 a piece for every meal. It killed me how expensive it was at every turn – and they got you at every turn. We paid $20 to visit the Keukenhoff Flower Gardens (they were beautiful) and then they charged 40 cents to use the bathroom and $4.50 for a map! Ridiculous.

All in all though it was a nice place to end the voyage. It was fun to run into students all over the city but kind of sad too because we knew we couldn’t say, “see you back at the ship”. Hmmm…still feels weird that it is over.

More on my return home to come...

The Last Legs

2008-04-23T21:15:00.000-04:00

Our leg from Istanbul to Lisbon was a time for wrap up and closing of all things work related for me. I sorted and burned files to disks, passed final documents onto my boss, and sat in meetings to offer my advice and suggestions for future voyages. It felt very weird to not be super busy or have a next port to prepare for or worry about. The shipboard community was in full swing with final activities as well. We had our Masquerade Ball, an original musical was performed, final exams finished and grades were submitted.

Our day in Lisbon was quite nice. For those of us who had sailed both voyages it felt like the circle was complete – coming back to our first port of call from September. I think I’ll actually remember more from our one day in Lisbon than I do of our entire seven day stop there in September. I found that what was more important than seeing the city on that day was spending time with friends from the ship. Many of us spent time reminiscing and bringing up all kinds of memories from not just Portugal but all of our ports. In the afternoon the alumni association hosted a happy hour at an Irish pub just down the street from the ship and boy did everyone take advantage of that! There were more than a few folks who stumbled back to the ship just before On ship time.

The last three days to Amsterdam literally flew by. They flew by so quickly that I can’t even remember everything that happened. Grade appeals, Intercultural Show, Graduation, Closing ceremonies and, of course, packing, packing, packing. Not only did we have to pack up our personal belongings and get ready to debark, but we also had to pack up the entire ship. TSS leases the ship so everything had to be broken down and packed up…classrooms, library, computers, copiers, offices, gym equipment, etc. We had to pack up everything related to TSS – no small task.

But we did it and we packed our own stuff as well. And all of a sudden we were in Amsterdam. The day we arrived and all said goodbye was beyond bittersweet and one of the most exhausting days I can remember. I was exhausted from staying up late the night before but I think it was the emotion of the day that drained me the most. How do you say goodbye to people that you have lived and worked with in such an intense environment for almost a year? I just couldn’t quite wrap my brain around the fact that I won’t see any of these folks on a daily basis anymore. We won’t eat meals together, travel together, support each other through the frustrations and tough spots, laugh and celebrate with each other, or just hangout together in this same way ever again. I will hopefully stay in touch with many of them but we will never live in such a close, tight-knit community all together again. Whoa – it makes me tear up to even write this. I’m working on another blog posting to share the uniqueness of the shipboard community and what it has meant to me…so stay tuned for that one.

The day we arrived in Amsterdam was particularly tricky for me because not only was I trying to say goodbye and manage the emotions of leaving but my mom came to the ship to meet me so I also had to manage the hellos and the thoughts of home and the future that came along with seeing her. It really was like two worlds colliding – how do I wrap up things in this world while at the same time taking my first step into whatever world is next? It wasn’t easy. I was very glad that my mom came to see the ship, meet some of my friends and spend time in Amsterdam it just felt weird to be making introductions and then turning right back around to say goodbyes.

This posting feels like it is pretty disjointed and all over the place but I think that might be appropriate because that is exactly how my last days on the ship felt. One moment I was excited about coming home and thinking about what is in store for me next and the very next minute I was sad about leaving my friends and this crazy, intense, unique world on the ship that I called home these last 8 months. I wanted it to end….I didn’t want it to end. We couldn’t get to Amsterdam fast enough….I didn’t want our time on the ship to ever end. I was glad to see my mom and get my stuff off the ship….I wanted her to not be there so I could spend every last minute with friends from the ship and not thinking about wheeling my last bag out of my cabin for the last time.

This entire eight months has been a roller coaster and, in true form, it came through with some extra intense twists and turns right up until the end. I’m sorry I’ve been behind in getting this posted. I have a few more posts that I want to write to catch you up on all the flurry of Amsterdam and coming home – so, again, stay tuned and I’ll try and write and post them in the next couple of days.

Life in Port

2008-04-13T12:51:00.000-04:00

So I promised long ago that I would write about what life is like in port and even though we are essentially done with our time in port (only one day in Lisbon left and that’s it) I want to hold true to my promise.

Living and traveling on a ship makes our time in each country very different than it would be if we traveled there by other means. Two things make that the case: 1) we are traveling the world with over 200 potential travel companions and 2) none of us have cell phones.

Normally when I travel to a country I do lots of research about what I want to do, where I want to go and how to do everything while I’m there. And of course I always know who I am traveling with. All that goes out the window on the ship. Often times I’m too busy to do any serious research about where we are going or what there is to do there. And, because I usually can’t travel too far from the ship I find that NOT making plans that are too concrete actually works to my benefit. Leaving my plans open gives me the opportunity to join up with people at the last minute and usually have better, fuller days than if I had planned it all out.

Let me use Turkey as an example. I arrived in Turkey not knowing anything about Istanbul or what there was to do there. The most I did was browse through the Lonely Planet on the first day and jot down things I might like to do. The last few days before we arrive in a port are inevitably spent chatting about people’s plans and what they would like to do – it gives you the chance to scope out who might have similar interests and who is staying close to the ship and who plans to travel. Often times I will tentatively plan to do certain things with certain people but we always know that it is subject to change at any time if other plans come up. In Turkey I didn’t even make any tentative plans with anyone. I arrived totally blind with absolutely nothing planned. No problem there.

Each day I woke up with a couple ideas of what I might like to do – I thought if I found someone to do them with great – if I didn’t find anyone that’s fine too. Turns out that I didn’t follow up on most of my plans because better opportunities came up. At breakfast people will chat about what they are doing or what they might like to do and simply just invite each other to come along or decide together on a whim what to do together. On day 2 in Turkey just after I finished the AFP departures there were four staff members meeting on the gangway and they invited me to go along for the ferry trip down the Bosphorous – bingo – had something to do with my day. That trip then progressed into a trip to the Turkish bath, a great dinner and some time watching the Turkish team play soccer on TV…couldn’t have planned a better day. Another day I was feeling a bit tired so I laid down after breakfast and a friend knocked on my door to return something – we chatted about plans for the day and the next thing I know we are off for a day of shopping and exploring the old city. Some of the best and most memorable days in port have been days when I had no plans to begin with and I just “went with the flow” allowing things to evolve spontaneously and organically.

This method of “planning” not only allows me to squeeze in most of things I want to do in a port but it also allows me to spend time with lots of different people. One day with this person, another day with that person – we never get sick of each other or feel tied to traveling with just one or two people. This not only happens with whole days but in small pieces throughout the day sometimes as well. There might be three of us visiting one site and we run into a few others at that site – chat about the rest of our day commences and the next thing you know two folks from our group join up with their group and a couple of them join our group because we all want to do different things with our afternoon. Voila! Everyone gets to do what they want. The freedom and flexibility are great.

Some of this spontaneity comes from having so many potential people to travel with every single day but also because of our lack of cell phones. You chat with someone and realize you want to do what they are doing – you just have to go. There is no catching up or connecting later. Run into people in port and want to do the same thing with your afternoon? Join up now. Know that you are not going to be able to get of the ship until noon because of work and you run into one other person who won’t be heading off the ship until later? Join forces now and set a time to meet up and see how your day might develop.

Traveling on a ship, to me, is a very unique way to explore a country. I’ve never operated from such an extreme “go with the flow” attitude and had it work out so well so often. It’s been a good lesson to me to remember that planning, planning, planning doesn’t always create the best adventures or experiences. When this is over I’m going to miss being able to travel with so many different people throughout a single week and I’m going to miss the spontaneity of letting things unfold so organically.

Turkey

2008-04-10T06:26:00.000-04:00

Turkey was such an interesting country and a really fabulous last port on this journey. Turkey really is a total mix of East and West. In many ways it felt very European but in equally as many ways it felt Middle Eastern, Asian and Indian. It was great to end with this port because it does truly feel like we have come full circle. We began this journey in Europe back in August and since then have circumnavigated the globe -- those of us on both voyages celebrated this landmark when we passed Athens a couple days before our arrival in Istanbul. During our voyages we spent a large chunk of our time (almost 3 months to be exact) in Asia. We are now back to Europe and Turkey felt like a great way to tie the two parts of the world together.

I really enjoyed Turkey. Unfortunately I didn’t get to travel too far outside Istanbul (alas work did not permit) but the city had plenty to keep me busy throughout the week. Turkey was the first Islamic country that I had been too so I loved visiting the mosques and hearing the call to prayer every couple of hours. I hit all the big sites: The Blue Mosque, Aya Sofya, the Hippodrome, the Basilica Cistern, Topkapi Palace, Dolmabahce Palace, the Spice Bazaar, the Grand Bazaar, a ferry trip to a small fishing village on the Black Sea, ferry trip to the Asian side of Istanbul, etc.

It’s interesting because Islam is a religion that shares a lot of the same beliefs as Christianity and Judaism and Istanbul is a city where all of those religions have crossed each other’s paths again and again throughout their histories. Take the Aya Sofya for example – it was originally built as a church. People in Turkey claim that it was the first really grand, large church in the world. Many of the Apostles came through that church while spreading the word of Jesus. It was a church for 900 years then it was turned into a mosque for the next 500 years (humbles me to think about how short US history is). When it was converted to a mosque they covered up all the walls with plaster (because the Islamic faith does not allow depictions of people to be used as decoration). Since the mid-1900s the Aye Sophia has been a museum and they have been trying all this time to uncover the Christian paintings beneath the plaster. Plaster is a tricky thing though – hard to destroy without destroying everything underneath it. They just recently found a compound that can dissolve the plaster without ruining the paintings beneath. So when I visited you can see all of the Islamic art and tile work (beautiful) and now you can faintly see the beginnings of the Christian artwork being revealed as the plaster is dissolved. Very cool.

I learned a lot about Islam and I also learned a lot about the Ottoman Empire – pretty powerful (and gigantic) in it’s day. Topkapi Palace and Dolmabahce Palace were both palaces built for the Sultans during the Ottoman Empire – Topkapi was built in the 1200’s and Dolmabahce was built in the 1800’s. Topkapi palace was particularly interesting because of it’s age and because of the ancient artifacts housed there. They had traditional outfits worn by the Sultans, swords and military gear, gorgeous thrones, horse-drawn carriages, and jewelry all on display. The jewelry was the most extravagant I had ever seen. Emeralds and rubies the size of golf balls and an 86 carat brilliant diamond – unbelievable.

The most interesting exhibit was what they call the sacred artifacts exhibit. This is what it included: Moses’ staff, David’s sword (as in David and Goliath), a bowl used by Abraham, Joseph’s turban (as in the coat of many colors) and Mohammed’s footprint. The most interesting relic was a gold hand and arm that held the remains of an actual hand in it. There was also a gold piece that covered a piece of skull. Both the skull and the hand are said to be John the Baptist’s. Don’t know if I believe all of them but it was a strong reminder of just how ancient that part of the world is.

Turkey was also our last place to bargain while shopping (thank goodness). Probably about half of the countries we visited were places where you had to play the bargaining game. Thank goodness Turkey was the last and not the first place to bargain because it was tough. The men selling were aggressive and often times not very nice. I was so drained and turned off by their tactics that I didn’t buy much. It was amazing to walk through the Grand Bazaar though. The Grand Bazaar is a GIGANTIC covered market – over 4,000 shops. You just had to wonder aimlessly and forget trying to get to a particular place or out a certain exit. It was an amazing and overwhelming place.

I do believe my highlight of the week was my second day in port. My day started off with a ferry ride down the Bosphorus with four friends from the ship. The ride took about two hours and at the end we arrived at a small fishing village at the mouth of the Black Sea. We climbed up a very large steep hill to be greeted by the remains of an ancient castle and a beautiful view of the Black Sea. We enjoyed the views for awhile and then trekked down to have a yummy seafood lunch. Two hours more on the ferry and we were back in Istanbul. We wandered the streets listening as the 5pm call to prayer began and then we wandered into a bakery where we each bought some Turkish delight and/or baklava to nibble on and some of us got some Turkish tea to sip (everybody drinks Turkish tea here – A LOT).

Two of our group left to catch a train for an overnight trip so the three of us who were left decided that we wanted to go to a Turkish bath. Turkish baths (or hamams) started back in the day when people did not have washing facilities in their homes. Literally people went there to get bathed. They have since evolved and now include other services – massages, facials, etc. but the basics are still the same.

We chose to go to one of the hamams that was recommended in the Lonely Planet. It is super old and beautiful. When you go to a hamam the men and women are separated. We noticed that the men’s side had a lot of local Turkish men but the women’s side had more tourists (I don’t think it’s very common for Turkish women to go to the baths). I’ve heard that on the men’s side the masseurs can be quite rough and they scrub your body with very rough cloths. The women’s side was a bit gentler.

We changed out of our clothes – some women wear bathing suit bottoms in the bath but traditionally you would be naked. Since we did not start our day planning to go to the bath we went the “traditional” way. Probably about 80% of the women in the bath when we were there were naked so it didn’t feel too weird. You get a little cloth wrap and wooden sandals to walk into the bath but once you get inside you drop the wrap. They give you the wooden shoes so that you don’t slip on the marble. It was quite a funny site watching us shuffle around the room with nothing on but these clunky wooden flip flops. Because they were huge sandals that didn’t stay on your feet we simply had to shuffle, shuffle, shuffle everywhere we went. The bath is a gigantic marble room with a beautiful dome ceiling that has tiny windows in it. The entire room is marble – the ceilings, floors, walls, sinks, etc.

First you just find a place to sit on the step that circles the room. It is hot in the room – not quite as hot as a steam bath but close – very warm and humid. You just sit, breathe and relax. There are marble sinks built into the walls with small bowls that you can use to cool yourself off. After awhile a Turkish lady (usually quite a large woman) will come over, take your hand and lead you to the center of the room. There is a large octagon shaped raised piece of marble in the center of the room. She has you lie down on your back and stretch your arms above your head (no modesty here folks!). She then proceeds to scrub your body with an exfoliating cloth (not too rough like on the men’s side). She then has you go rinse off with buckets of water from the sink and then return to your spot on the marble slab. Next she massages your body with olive oil soap…it was a nice massage – not the best I ever had but relaxing. Then she takes you over to one of the sinks and dumps lots of water on you to get the soap off. She also washes your hair – I totally felt like I was three years old getting a bath in the tub. When the bathing is done you can stay in the hamam for as long as you like.

Being in the hamam really did feel like stepping back in time – sitting on the ancient marble, peering up at the tiny windows in the dome ceiling. I left the bath feeling totally relaxed but energized – my skin felt great too! After the hamam we found a place to have a nice dinner with traditional Turkish food – we even tried a very popular after dinner drink – Raki which is a very strong black licorice liquor.

On our way home we stopped into a Nargilem – there was a whole strip of them just outside the ship. A nargileh is a water pipe (hookah) – EVERYONE in Turkey smokes them. I don’t care for them but the tobacco they smoke is much more pleasant to smell then cigarette smoke. The nargilems just off the ship were relaxing and cozy – bean bag chairs everywhere – inside and out. At a nargilem all you do is smoke hookah and drink tea….lots of tea. Turkish tea is served in tiny glasses with sugar cubes. They are also big on flavored teas – really they aren’t teas but rather hot, fruity drinks. Apple tea is the most popular.

We stopped at the nargilem on the way home because there was a very big soccer game on TV. One of the Turkish teams was playing Chelsea – a British team. There was lots of excitement and yelling so we had to stop in to watch the last bit of the game. It was exciting – Turkey won 1-2 and the last goal they scored was the most amazing shot I have ever seen. There was lots of yelling, jumping, kissing and hugging when they won. What a great way to spend a day in Istanbul!

Some of the things that stood out to me while in Istanbul:
-The service in restaurants is amazing – they are super attentive and don’t mind if you sit and linger long after your meal is done.

-The fruits and vegetables were the freshest and most colorful I have ever seen. I ate salad every chance I got. Even the street vendors had super fresh vibrantly colored lettuce, carrots, and tomatoes. I also loved that every other shop had fresh squeezed orange juice for just 2 YTL (about $1).

-Men did treat women differently – I never felt unsafe (I actually felt safer than many other countries) but I definitely noticed a lot of wandering eyes and lots of comments about our looks – we got odd looks from men especially after dark if we were just a group of women alone.

-Tea – like I said already (twice) – everyone drinks it all day. One night I drank so much tea that I could still taste in my mouth the next day (and, yes, I had brushed my teeth – more than once).

-They sell handguns in every other store on the street. It was weird. I don’t know who is buying them but they are everywhere. In display cases and mounted to the walls in the shops – everywhere. You could buy your cell phone, TV, car radio and hand gun all in the same place.

-Cats – they were everywhere. A lot of dogs too but the cats were overrunning the place. Everywhere you looked there was a stray cat.

-The history of this part of the world is amazing, lengthy, complicated and really does have influences across the world over.

Turkey is a place I’d love to come back to some day and explore more. Since Croatia is on my list of places I’d like to visit coming back to Turkey may just be a possibility. I can’t believe we are done our last seven day port stay. We are crossing the Mediterranean now and we’ll have just one day in Lisbon before we head up to Amsterdam to debark. So essentially the voyage is about over. Doesn’t seem real. I’m not really sad but I’m not really happy either – honestly I don’t know how I am feeling (other than tired). I’ll have to think on this and get back to you.

Spain

2008-03-29T14:28:00.000-04:00

Barcelona is an absolutely beautiful city! I’m not big on art or architecture but the architecture in Barcelona is intriguing and eye catching. Balconies on almost every building, fancy details and accents everywhere you look, gigantic gothic cathedrals, stately, regal museums and government buildings and the Gaudi buildings are indescribable! I had never heard of the Spanish-Catalan architect – Antoni Gaudi – until I came to Barcelona but his work is amazing! He designed everything from houses, cathedrals and parks. My three favorite – Park Guell, Sagrada Familia, and Casa Batllo. It’s too difficult to describe in words what his work looks like. The best I can do is say it’s a cross between a Dr. Suess vision and something you would imagine in a fairytale. Look him up on the internet – I promise you won’t be disappointed. I’m sorry I don’t have pictures to share – the internet is just too slow for me to post pictures.

I actually didn’t do a whole lot in Barcelona. It’s super expensive – I think we all had sticker shock coming to our first European country (boy is the USD in the dumper compared to the Euro!). I rode the tourist bus, visited Park Guell, toured Poble Espanyol (a mock Spanish village), walked La Rambla (the main drag) and the surrounding quaint, stone-paved roads and alleyways. I drank a lot of sangria and ate a lot of paella and chocolate churros. It was not a port for crazy adventures or travel but all in all it was a good week.

I have to say though that the biggest highlight of the week for me didn’t have anything to do with Spain. The highlight of my week actually took place on a pay phone outside of the port. Yup. That’s because on Wednesday, March 26 at 10:39am EDT (3:39pm Barcelona time) my nephew, Zachary, was born!

I knew my sister’s due date was while we were in Spain but I thought the chances of her actually having the baby while I was in port (and I could easy get to a phone) would be slim to none (I just don’t have that kind of luck and who delivers on their actual due date anyway??). Turned out I did have that kind of luck! Not only did she have him while I was in port, but she had to have a scheduled C-section so I got to call just before she went in for the delivery and I talked to my mom just after she saw him for the first time. It was excellent – it made it feel like I wasn’t so far away. I was really sad about the prospect of missing the entire event – if we had been sailing I might not have known about the birth until after it was long over. It was nice to feel somewhat a part of things even though I am halfway around the world.

Mom and baby are both doing well. I talked to Becky on the 27th and I heard Zachary over the phone – that was crazy and made it feel more real to me (they really DO have a baby). They should get out of the hospital today or tomorrow. And I’ll be home in just 24 days to meet Zachary!

Only two more days before we arrive in Turkey…

I'm Tired

2008-03-20T12:25:00.001-04:00

It’s been 204 days since I first boarded the ship in Athens. While the last 7 months have definitely had HUGE ups and downs, right now during this home stretch I’m feeling more tired than anything else.

I’m tired of internet that is slower than dial up

I’m tired of no weekends

I’m tired of not being able to call people whenever I want

I’m tired of email being my only avenue of communication for long stretches

I’m tired of not being able to wear my pajamas out of my cabin (without feeling silly or running into the Dean)

I’m tired of never being able to have a lazy day

I’m tired of my social life and my travel time being inextricably intertwined with work

I’m tired of working a job that is 24-7 that I can never totally get time away from

I’m tired of hand washing my clothes

I’m tired of no radio and no TV to distract me once in awhile

I’m tired of having to type every little thing I want to tell or share with people from home

I’m tired of eating the same food every day

I’m tired of no orange juice or good coffee

I’m tired of the clothes I brought

I’m tired of having so few clothing options

I’m tired of not having any friends that I can truly vent to about work because I work with them all!

I’m tired of never having time to research and plan out my time in each country we visit

I’m tired of having to give up some of my days in port to work

I’m tired of not being able to cook what I feel like eating

It’s been quite a ride but I’ll be ready for April 19th to be here!

Cape Verde

2008-03-16T11:27:00.000-04:00

With only 12 hours in port I don’t have a whole lot to report about Saint Vincent Island in Cape Verde. I spent the morning on a tour of Mandelo (the main town on the island) and surrounding area. We walked the streets, visited a fish market and vegetable market, had snacks and listened to local music at a restaurant and drove up to the look out point on Mount Verde. I spent the afternoon and early evening hanging out with friends from the ship – eating good food and just relaxing at two different local restaurants.

Saint Vincent (and all the other islands that make up Cape Verde) is a volcanic island that so rarely gets rain that the entire island is dry and barren. I’ve never been to an island that is so…well…brown and desert-like. I know understand why we couldn’t find a travel guide for Cape Verde – I don’t think it would be on the top of anyone’s list of tourist destinations.

Even though it wasn’t the prettiest island I had ever seen it did have a comfortable, small town feel and the people were very friendly and helpful. In many ways the culture reminded me of Brazil. Not too surprising because, like Brazil, Cape Verde was originally a Portuguese colony.

It was a brief stay but a much needed break from sea travel. We just finished a 10 day leg and now we have 5 days until Spain (I miss counted the days in my last posting – it’s 5 not 6 days to Barcelona).

For those who celebrate – have a Happy Easter!

A Wedding at Sea

2008-03-14T07:33:00.001-04:00

March 10 was a no class day on the ship and it was also a wedding day for one of our professors and her partner. Yes, Kersten and Gianni decided at the beginning of the voyage that they wanted to tie the knot while sailing the high seas. What a great day it turned out to be for the entire community!

The entire community got in on the planning. They played wedding themed movies every night for a week leading up to the big day. There were groups of students and staff responsible for decorations, for flowers, for music, and for different pieces of the ceremony and festivities. The ceremony took place at 5pm on the back deck of the ship. It was hot and the sun was bright but everyone came out dressed to the nines. The attire was “creative formal” so there were Scottish kilts, Indian Saris, beautiful Thai and Chinese silks, African-inspired dresses, etc. It was the most colorfully dressed affair I’ve ever been to. The bride wore a brightly colored Chinese-style long dress full of oranges, reds, yellows and purples. The groom wore a beautiful orange Thai silk shirt. I know it sounds quite loud and gaudy but it wasn’t – it was tasteful and beautiful.

The captain officiated the ceremony and when he pronounced them husband and wife they blew the ship’s whistle – very cool. Our Academic Dean led a Buddhist wedding tradition (she was a Buddhist monk for awhile) of everyone tying strings around each other’s wrists to symbolize not only the couple’s union but the entire community’s connection. Next some of the Moroccan students led everyone in a dance and song that is a festive Moroccan wedding tradition. Some of the staff and students had formed a “wedding band” including guitars, violin and trumpet so they shared a song during the ceremony as well.

After the ceremony we all headed to the middle of the Lido deck for a nice dinner. The crew had carved animals out of fruits and vegetables for all of the table centerpieces. The head table had a full size watermelon carved into the shape of a cage with two love birds inside.

After dinner we headed back out to the pool deck for a toast and cake. Notes of congratulation from the bride and groom’s families were shared aloud and the couple danced their first dance. After the tossing of the bouquet off the upper most deck, we headed into the Student Center where some students shared a repeat performance of their elaborate Bollywood dance that they had put together before our stop in India and the students from Ghana repeated one of their popular dance traditions.

The students continued their festivities in the Student Center while much of the Staff migrated to the Starlight Lounge at the front of the ship for live music and good South African wine. The crew band that had performed during Crew Talent night was asked to perform and many of the crew were invited to the reception. It was so nice to be able to all celebrate together and I think the crew were honored to be asked to participate and perform.

It was a great day and fabulous way to break up this long leg up the coast of Africa. I’m glad the Kersten and Gianni wanted to share their special day with all of us on the ship.

Tomorrow we are in Cape Verde for one day (ugh…just one day) and then we have six more days to arrive in Spain on Good Friday.

A Day on the Ship

2008-03-11T07:11:00.000-04:00

So what is a typical day on the ship for me? On a good day this is what my schedule might look like:

7:15am – Full body workout class or yoga class
8:15am – breakfast
8:45am – shower
9:15 – work – meetings and office work
12:30 – lunch
1:30 – catch some sun at the pool
3pm – work – meetings and office work
6:30pm – dinner
After dinner – do some hand washing, watch an episode of Gilmore girls, work on a blog posting, watch a movie, hang out in the staff lounge, or attend a student event. I have also been teaching a couple RAD classes in the evenings.

On a not-so-good day I don’t get any time at the pool, I have meetings over meals and sometimes work at night after dinner. Luckily this semester has been a bit more even keeled.

Above I listed a typical CLASS day for me on the ship – we also have Pre-Port Days and Post-Port days where I sit in on multiple meetings, and coordinate some of the Pre-Port and Post-Port sessions.

Just wanted to give you glimpse of what ship life is like for me.

Since I posted the “Ship Life” post I thought of a couple more unique things about ship life…

Only on a ship do I not have to drive anywhere

Only on a ship do I never have to shop for food.

Only on a ship can I have my personal space in my cabin but I can easily walk out my door and have people to socialize with and eat with.

Only on a ship can I travel around the world with my bedroom!!!

I know that those all no brainers but I think they are important to mention because I think in the real world we spend an exorbitant amount of time driving and shopping. This life seems a lot more healthy. Ironically ship life also seems a lot less isolating than the real world in many ways. In the real world people can spend whole evenings and weekends never talking to another soul if they don’t leave their house or apartment. Again, this life seems a lot more healthy.

Since my bedroom is never far away I never have to worry about forgetting something at home or forgetting to pack something. THAT is the most fabulous!!!

There are a lot of challenges living in ship world and working on a ship creates an intensity unlike any other job but overall ship life is good.

Next installment? Life in port…

South Africa

2008-03-07T06:42:00.001-05:00

Of all the countries on this voyage that were repeats for me, Cape Town was the one I was most looking forward to and it didn’t disappoint. We had gorgeous weather – it is the end of summer down here so it was warm and sunny but not humid at all.

Cape Town is a very western city so it was an easy city to play in and it offered all the amenities we haven’t had for the last few ports. I strolled through the downtown area, went to the beach, climbed Table Mountain for a second time, visited the District Six Museum (sort of an Apartheid Museum), rode the topless bus all through the city and around the coast, watched the sea lions play in the harbor, went on an all day wine tasting tour in the winelands, and ate some yummy food.

I think my favorite part of the week was the evening township tour that I did with two other staff members from the ship. I had been on township tours the last time I visited South Africa but the evening tour that we did was very unique. The townships are the areas outside of Cape Town where the blacks, Indians and coloreds (that’s what they call people of mixed races and it’s apparently not an offensive term) were moved to during Apartheid. Most parts of most of the townships are full of extreme poverty. Quite a huge contrast to the wealth and prosperity of the waterfront and downtown areas of Cape Town.

We visited a township called Langa – which is one of the largest black townships in the Cape Flats. Our guide – Thandis - lived in Langa so we got quite a candid view of life in the Township. First we stopped in the middle of the township where there were women preparing and selling boiled sheep’s heads. It is one of the main staples in the townships. There was a table full of sheep heads and each woman had an open fire burning so that they could heat strips of scrap metal and burn the hair off the head so as not to waste any of the meat. Next they would split the head in half and put it in a big barrel of boiling water before they would put it out to sell. There were lots of friendly people walking by chatting with us.

Next we visited one of the old, unrenovated hostels. The hostels were originally built for the men who worked in Cape Town. The women and children were sent to townships further outside the city but the men who worked in the city were each given a bed. When Apartheid ended all of those men brought their families to Langa. So instead of one man per bed it became one family per twin bed. That meant 16 families per “apartment”. The hostels are very basic – concrete walls, floors, bed frames and tables. I think there is one bathroom per apartment and one kitchen sink – some have a stove and a refrigerator. The government is in the process of renovating the hostels but it is a painfully slow process. And when they renovate a building it goes from holding 64 families to only housing 22 families. The rent also goes from 20 rand a month (about $3) to 300 rand a month (about $43). They have pretty much run out of land to build new hostels so each renovated building displaces dozens of families. So these renovations are very mixed blessings.

Next we visited a renovated hostel and had a drink of soda with the family in the apartment. They were super nice and hospitable. The woman their had the most adorable 6 month old daughter. As we got ready to leave the sun had gone down so the streets were full of people laughing, talking and hanging out. There were children running everywhere – coming up to us to hold our hands and follow us. It struck me that even though the people lived in an extremely poor conditions they had an extremely strong, vibrant, close-knit community.

Next we headed off to the most memorable part of the evening – the shanty town. During the time of Apartheid when the hostels filled up shanty towns rose up all around the outskirts of the townships. The shanties that we visited were considered formal townships because they had a row of public outhouses, a public water spout and each shack had it’s own electricity box. Each shack is built out of scrap wood and corrugated aluminum. We went to a shabeen – a pub (I use that term loosely). It was a shack with about 5 or 6 people in it (including one man rolled in a blanket on the floor sleeping). We sat down on a bench and some of the old men tried chatting with us – they were super jovial and friendly (as well as a little drunk). It was difficult to understand them and they had difficulty understanding us – their main language is Koso so their English was not as strong.

One of the women brought out a big silver bucket of frothy liquid. Turned out it was a homemade beer that was popular in the townships because it can be made in just a few days. We proceeded to pass the bucket around and each take a sip. It was kind of gross but I’m glad I got the chance to try it.

Then everyone in the shack started dancing and singing. Their voices were so soulful and beautiful. They got us up dancing with them. It was a little difficult because the shack was barely tall enough for us to stand. I always worry about tours like this feeling contrived or having a “human zoo” feel to them but I didn’t feel that way at all during our visit.

After leaving the shanty area we made a quick drive through our guide’s neighborhood to meet his son and his sister. Then we headed to our final destination – dinner with a family. We visited the house of a woman – Lorraine whose sister and mother lived with her. They lived in a shack-like house but it was much nicer than the shacks in the shanty area. They had siding on their house and it was painted and festive inside. They had three bedrooms and a full kitchen. They also had three dogs that lived out in the front of their house for protection.

The meal we had was wonderful – chicken, rice, cabbage and vegetables. Nothing fancy but quite yummy. Lorraine, Vanessa and Flora were very nice and enjoyed chatting with us. They were watching a South African awards show on TV while we were there. It was great fun to watch them guess the winners and celebrate or lament the decisions – they spoke a lot in Koso which is a fascinating language.

After Thandis dropped us back off at the waterfront area to get to the ship I was struck yet again at the huge disparity between the haves and have-nots in Cape Town. It also struck me that all of it had been created, condoned and perpetuated by a political government system. I couldn’t decide if our experience in the townships felt more surreal to me or if walking among the shops, restaurants and tourists on the waterfront felt more surreal. I do know that the visit to the township felt more like “real life” as opposed to the “Disneyworld-like isolation and blinders” that exist in the tourist parts of the city. They say that Apartheid has been gone for over 15 years but the impacts and effects of Apartheid will be around for decades and decades to come.

We are now back at sea for our longest leg – 10 days until we get to Cape Verde for one day and then back at sea for 6 more days to Barcelona. Lots of activities and events happening during this leg – Casino night, North American Intercultural night, a Drag show, Open Mic night, European Cultural night, Global Scholar lectures, language classes, Salsa classes, Capoiera classes, another RAD class AND A WEDDING! Yes, I said a wedding!! More to come on that one….

Ship Life

2008-02-23T05:32:00.000-05:00

I know some of you are wondering what life is like living on a ship. Here are some of the unique things about ship life…

Time revolves around meals – breakfast 7am-9am, lunch 11:45-1:30pm, dinner 5:45-7:30pm. Your body gets on a strict eating schedule with these hours. If you want food between meal times you can purchase stuff at the snack bar.

You eat breakfast outside on the top deck of the ship – sometimes a bit chilly, rainy or crazy hot. Lunch and dinner are served in a large dining room, 5 decks down from the top.

You never know what date or day of the week it is. We operate on Blue Days, Green Days, Pre- and Post-Port Days. Even in port we don’t think in terms of days of the week or dates. We just think….Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Really rough days at sea (like today) – EVERYTHING creaks. Since this ship is mostly made out of wood (unusual these days) it creaks horribly when it’s rough. I have to use earplugs at night just to sleep. Another weird thing happens when it’s rough – the plumbing system goes crazy – the toilets gurgle and spit and sometimes a horrible sewer smell oozes out of them all day and night.

When the seas are rough class and work become challenges – they always continue but can be a struggle to get through. There’s always kind of a strange vibe on the ship during rough seas – it’s a little bit like a snow day – a mixture of excitement, caution, fear and sympathy for those who are not well. I’m lucky – I rarely feel nauseous – usually I just get a little bit lethargic or headachy.

Laundry – you can get your laundry done on the ship for $5 per bag but you risk not getting items back or having things returned damaged. For those reasons I opt for hand washing most of my clothes. I only sent two bags to the laundry last semester.

There is a gym on the ship with free weights, machines and cardio equipment. There is also some cardio equip up on one of the top decks so you can look out at the ocean. Can’t say I’ve made it to the gym too often – I’m sticking to the fitness classes to keep active.

There are exercise classes in the mornings, dance classes, language classes and RAD classes in the evenings.

About every other night or so there is some sort of event or activity – Cultural show, Movie night, Picture showcase from our prior port, Theatre performance, Crew Talent Show, etc.

We are in a completely different country and sometimes different continent every 3-12 days – THAT is really crazy for me to wrap my brain around!

You are NEVER away from work. People will catch you at meals, in the staff lounge, while you’re watching a movie or working out and jump right into work questions or issues. That can become tiresome and it’s difficult to create boundaries.

You don’t have any private space other than your cabin. Because you live with the people you work with it feels a tad inappropriate to be walking around the ship in pajamas. Some people do it but I always feel compelled to be presentable – brush my hair and put some real clothes on. This can be a pain when you’ve slept late and want to grab breakfast before it ends – who has to get dressed just to grab some cereal for breakfast?

One person’s behavior or circumstance affects everyone. Someone gets very ill or hurt? The entire ship is impacted when we have to divert the ship to medically evacuate him/her. Someone does something stupid, inappropriate or offensive? The entire ship can get up in arms about it very quickly. Rumors fly like wildfire too.

The close quarters also creates a very tight community – people rally around those who are sick, birthday celebrations can get quite festive and become a community affair, people quickly engage to confront issues to keep peace in the community. We really are a dynamic and intense international village floating out in our own isolated world.

Coming up in a future installment - I’ll share a typical day for me on the ship…that’ll probably be posted after South Africa.

Seychelles

2008-02-19T00:52:00.000-05:00

We just spent the last two days in the Seychelles. Now if you’re anything like I was a year ago you may not have a clue where in the world the Seychelles are. The Seychelles are a small group of islands in the Indian Ocean off the east coast of Africa and just north of Madagascar. Tourism is the main industry here but I was surprised at how few tourists we saw. I think one of the draws to this country is the fact that you can still find pristine beaches where you feel like you are the only one around.

The Seychelles was one of our break ports – which means we are only here for a couple days and there are no Academic Field Programs happening. Really these break ports exist to break up our really long legs so we don’t have to be at sea for longer than two weeks. It was really nice to sort of have a weekend.

I stayed on the main island – Mahe – for both days. It’s actually quite large and has everything you’d want. My only goal was to find a beach and camp out – I didn’t have any grand interest in going to other islands or doing anything adventurous like diving or exploring the interior of the island. I definitely met my goal.

The unfortunate part of our two days in the Seychelles was that we arrived on a Sunday when pretty much EVERYTHING is shut down – including shops and restaurants. So two other staff folks and I negotiated a cab to take us to the closest beach and we spent the entire day there. We were at the largest and most heavily populated of the beaches on the island. There were still wide stretches of beach with no one – “heavily populated” is definitely a relative term. Since it was the weekend there were a lot of local folks out enjoying the fabulous weather and gorgeous water. It was nice to be on this “busier” beach on a Sunday because we were able to find a couple of restaurants open for lunch and dinner.

Money here is interesting. Their currency is Seychellois Rupees (no relation to Indian Rupees) and everything is advertised in Rupees but a new law took effect in January – foreigners can ONLY pay in US Dollars or Euros at most restaurants, shops, hotels, etc. You can have fistfuls of rupees and you can’t spend a penny. Here is the kicker – if you pay in US cash or Euros you get your change in rupees. Some places enforce the rule and others do not - it’s kind of weird and can be confusing and frustrating. Luckily I brought a lot of $1 bills so I always had exact change but unfortunately I had also exchanged money so I had to be very strategic in spending rupees – dollars here, rupees there. It was strange.

On our second day we joined a faculty member and his son who had rented a car. We drove down the coast and lounged on another beach all morning. For lunch we headed up into the mountains of the interior of the island to a Spice Garden (it’s kind of like a botanical garden of all spices). We didn’t actually go into the garden – it didn’t look like it was worth the $6 entrance fee but we ate lunch at the restaurant. Another weird thing here – they openly post and charge VERY different prices for locals and foreigners: the entrance fee for locals was only 24 rupees ($3). I know a lot of tourist places try and rook foreigners and charge a lot more than normal but I’ve never been to a place that is so blatant and the tiered rates so institutionalized.

Lunch was great – the outdoor restaurant had an AMAZING view of the coast and we were surrounded with gorgeous trees, flowers and plants – hibiscus, gardenia, guava trees, orange trees, bread fruit trees, etc. There were these really cool animals – flying foxes – that were flying high above all the vegetation catching insects. Flying foxes look like enormous, graceful bats. They were pretty cool. There were also some brilliantly colored birds – reds, oranges and white.

My favorite part of lunch was dessert. They made homemade ice cream on the premises and we got the house special – three scoops of their signature flavors – cinnamon, spearmint and lime. Sounds like a weird combo but they were delicious and all made from fresh spices in the garden. Yummy.

Next we drove across the island and up the west coast – we found a fabulously secluded beach – there was almost no one else around. The water was unbelievable warm and there were lots of pretty shells and old coral along the shore. It was the perfect way to wrap up our time in the Seychelles.

These two days have been very relaxing and I’m thankful that I got some beach time in – this may be my last chance to hit a beach for the rest of this voyage! I think I feel about the Seychelles the same way I did about Tahiti – I’m glad I got the chance to come here and it was a nice diversion from the normal chaos of the ship but I don’t think I’ll have any burning desire to come back here again. It’s a beautiful place and it just makes me more thankful of ALL of the tremendously beautiful beaches and places I’ve had the opportunity to visit throughout my travels.

India

2008-02-12T10:06:00.001-05:00

Incredible India – that is the tag line that is currently used on all the tourist maps and brochures. There is not a truer statement. India is incredible. It has incredible poverty and incredible wealth…incredible beauty and incredible trash and pollution…incredible kindness and incredible ruthlessness….there are incredible smells, sights and sounds at every turn. India is an incredible assault on your senses, your values, beliefs and comfort zones.

I was really nervous coming back to India, particularly Chennai (Madras). Last time I was here Chennai drained me, overwhelmed me, and frustrated me. I didn’t dislike India I had just had never been to a country that so constantly and completely decimated my energy (and sometimes my spirit) on a regular basis. There really is no way to describe India and no way to prepare for the experience. Hence, my apprehension as we approached India last week.

I am happy to report that I had a great time in India. It still zapped my energy and strength and challenged my nerves and comfort zones but I didn’t feel as shell-shocked and battle-weary 24-7 as I did last time. Why did it seem easier this time? Because I had been here before and knew what to expect? Because I am a more savvy traveler and better bargainer than I was two years ago? Because this is the first port in six months that catapulted me completely out of what is familiar and comfortable to me (the part of traveling that I love)? I think all of those reasons played a part in why I enjoyed India more this second time around.

I spent the first few days working a bit – I attended pieces of the Academic Field Programs but I also spent some time shopping and eating good food. I didn’t get hassled too much by rickshaw drivers and I knew where to go to find the rickshaw drivers that were less likely to rip you off (on our first day they were trying to charge 400 rupees for a ride that – even with tourist inflation – should have only cost around 50 rupees (about $1)). Because things were going well I was in much better frame of mind to SHOP!! India has some amazingly beautiful fabrics and clothes. I bought some really fun clothes while I was there – I can’t wait to show them off when I get home.

Well I guess things were going a little too easy so what do I decide to do? I decide it would be a good idea to take a public bus four hours south to a little town called Pudacherry (recently changed from Pondicherry). Now I don’t know if any of you have ever ridden a public bus in a foreign country but it is always an interesting adventure and boy did India come through on the adventure part.

Getting to Pudacherry was not too difficult – we negotiated a rickshaw ride across town to the bus station and at the bus station we found out that we just get on a bus and pay for our ticket. The buses to Pudacherry leave every 20 minutes so it’s not difficult to get on a bus. The bus is not air conditioned so all of the windows are open. It’s actually not too hot once the bus is moving. The worst part was that we had a driver that REALLY liked to use his horn. He used it CONSTANTLY – he probably hit the horn an average of every 30 seconds to a minute – for FOUR HOURS! Other than that it was an uneventful trip. The trip home was another story.

On our trip home we arrived at the bus station at 7pm and found it to be mad chaos. People were swarming and pushing to get on buses. It was noisy, loud, hot and dirty. You still buy your ticket onboard but people seemed to have pieces of paper that had some significance about whether or not they got on the bus. We wandered around trying to figure out this crazy system. Finally someone directed us to a ticket window with a CRAZY long line in front of it. Apparently you can’t buy tickets at the window but you can pay 10 rupees for a reservation on a bus.

So we get in this crazy long line – all of us debating if we should go back to Pudacherry and stay another night and give up on this mess. Luckily a very nice woman pointed out to us that there was a Ladies’ line and a Men’s line. The men’s line was crazy long – the women’s line was much shorter. An interesting thing about India – you tend only to see men out and about. Men are everywhere in restaurants and public places but women are rarely out. It’s kind of weird to see just men everywhere. One of the women I went to Pudacherry with went to a dance club one night and she and two other western women were the only women in the whole place. Odd.

So we get into the women’s line and the pushing and pressing to the window begins. All of the women were very nice but India (like most of the Asian countries we’ve been to) has a different sense of personal space and waiting in lines than we do in the west. The theory is push and shove and press until you get to the front. If you can push past other people than you go first. I ended up being the one that played the line squeezing game all the way to the window. The entire time there are men trying to get the women to buy tickets for them. I had to constantly tell men no while I jockeyed for position with the women – oh and I had to do all this while carrying my two bags and making sure no one could get to where my money was.

The whole time I was stressed because I didn’t know what bus they were giving reservations for. I was imagining it was for the 11:30pm bus which would put us back in Chennai at 3:30am – not a trip we want to do in the middle of the night. So I finally get to the window and the funny thing is they only had one person working the window – for both the ladies’ and the men’s lines. They were very nice to me and I got our reservations and luckily it was for the 8:20pm bus – woo, hoo!

Next I had to push my way out of the line and then our next challenge was to figure our where to find the 8:10pm bus. Having a reservation only means you get on the bus it doesn’t mean you get a seat (yes some people stand for the entire 4 hours) so you need to be there right when the bus arrives.

Luckily there were many nice people that tried to help us find where the bus would be. We didn’t even ask for help – people just offered and really tried to take care of us. It was very nice. So we are standing in front of the 7:50pm bus because we’ve been told that the 8:10pm bus will arrive in that spot as soon as the 7:50pm bus leaves. All of a sudden the guy who seems to be in charge of the 7:50pm bus comes up to us and motions for us to get on the bus. We try and explain we have reservations for the 8:10pm bus but he insists we should come with him. We ask if there are seats and he indicates yes (with the head bobble nod that Indians are famous for). Sure enough there are seats and we are now going on the 7:50pm bus. I’m not sure how that happened but it did.

So we think we were home free at this point. Boy were we wrong. Little did we know that we had just gotten on the suicide bus from hell. Our driver did not use his horn quite as much as our first driver but this guy was a speed demon! He whipped around curves and around speed barriers. There was one stretch in the middle where all of us were just praying that the bus wouldn’t tip over. The driver spent the entire trip trying to pass vehicles – he drove on the wrong side of the road trying to pass on curves and barely making it past and swerving into our lane before the oncoming vehicle came by. When he didn’t have a vehicle in front of him he flew down the road at Mach 5 and we watched as vehicles passing cars in the opposite direction barely got over before we flew past. It was one crazy ride. We did make it safely back to Chennai in one piece and after that experience I felt a bit like I did during my first visit to India – stressed, frazzled and drained.

So let me tell you a little bit about Pudacherry. It was the only French colony in India – it’s a small seaside town that is becoming popular with both domestic and foreign tourists. They speak Tamil, French and English there. It was quite funny to walk down the street and have Indian kids saying, “Bonjour!” So why did I go to Pudacherry? Well there isn’t a whole lot to see and do on the south east part of the country where Chennai is. I really wanted to get over to the south west part of the country and visit Kerala but with only two and half days I didn’t think it was worth the hassle of traveling 12 hours on the overnight train. So Pudacherry was a reasonable distance and seemed reasonably interesting.

I headed down there with three other staff members – Ashley, Amanda and Bonita. Ashley is our PR officer, Amanda is an IRC (residence life staff member) and Bonita works in the Media lab. We spent two nights in a guest house on the beach. Our days were spent walking, shopping and eating. It was quite relaxing and nice to be away from the ship.

On our second day we got Ayurvedic massages (yes, apparently I am on the world tour of massages). I had never had an Ayurvedic massage before – it was quite an experience and quite different from any massage I’ve ever had before. First off you are completely and totally naked – no sheets or coverings. They completely douse you in oil. I’m not talking a little bit of oil like a Swedish massage….I’m talking drowning in oil – dumped it on your head – spread liberally all over – eyes, face, ears and every part of your body. There was so much oil that my skin felt kind of suffocated and I literally felt like I would slide right off the table. It was pretty comical. The funniest part was when it was all over they give you a tiny bar of soap, a bucket of water and a small faucet. There was so much oil that that tiny bar of soap had no hope of overpowering the oil. I must have been quite a sight trying to get enough lather on the soap to attempt to get enough oil off my body to at least put my clothes back on. It was quite a process. It’s been three days (and many good showers) and I STILL feel like there is oil coming out of my pores.

I’m glad I came back to India and I would come to India again if the opportunity arose. One of my favorite things was to see all of the beautiful sarees and outfits that women wear. Women dress beautifully and elegantly every day. The beautiful and brilliant colors and patterns are incredible. It’s quite a contrast – men wear pretty much anything they want – shabby clothes, dirty towels and wraps as pants – anything goes but the women (even those without much) are dressed in beautiful clothes. It’s also weird to see women dressed so beautifully – including sequins, shimmer materials and jewelry -- in the heat and dirt of the city and the heat and dirt of the villages. No matter where you went or what level of society the women seemed very put together wearing gorgeous fabrics.

Coming to a place like India always teaches you lessons. I think the biggest lesson I will take away from India is one that I learned the first time I was here – this trip was a big reminder that I live a VERY comfortable life – we all do. I have a comfortable bed to sleep in, a shower to bathe in and I know where my next meal is coming from. I cannot describe to you how many people in India do not lead such comfortable lives or have any assurance that their basic needs will be met. When we took a rickshaw back to the ship at midnight after our death bus ride back from Pudacherry I couldn’t believe the throngs and throngs of people sleeping on the street. These weren’t just the beggars and homeless that you see out on the street day in and day out. These were the shop keepers, stall workers, rickshaw drivers, and street sweepers.

When I’m back in the “real world” I tend to stress and worry about things that are minor in the grand scheme of things. Work pressures, frustrations with companies or stores, money worries, challenges with friends or family all seem so huge at times – it gets that way for all of us. That’s why I appreciate coming to a place like India – it helps me to shift my perspective back to what truly is important in life and what is worth worrying about and spending energy on. All of the stresses, frustrations and worries that tend to consume our lives at times are ridiculously stupid BECAUSE we know where we are sleeping tonight and where our next meal is coming from.

So that was Incredible India for me – thanks for reading.

Only on a Ship

2008-02-03T23:31:00.000-05:00

Only on a ship do I take socks in the shower with me to wash them.

Only on a ship do I feel comfortable sitting down with people I don’t know at any meal.

Only on a ship can I take a break to swim, sunbathe and shower in the middle of my work day.

Only on a ship does my toilet gurgle and spit at me.

Only on a ship do I have zero idea what is going on in world news, politics, music, movies or pop culture.

Only on a ship do I hoard small boxes of cereal in my cabin.

Only on a ship do I tape my drawers and closets shut.

Only on a ship do I have a healthy fear of furniture flying across the room at any given moment.

Only on a ship would I ever schedule a breakfast meeting, lunch meeting AND dinner meeting.

Only on a ship can I teach RAD on the very top deck with a beautiful view of the ocean.

Only on a ship do I have raw hands from hand washing my clothes.

Only on a ship do I wear the same shoes every single day for months at a time.

Only on a ship do I treat my Gilmore Girls DVDs like valuable, precious booty.

Only on a ship do I get the gift of a 25 hour day on a regular basis.

Only on a ship do I NEVER have any idea what day of the week it is.

Only on a ship do I only have two t-shirts, one dress and one pair of jeans

Only on a ship do I have to stop a meeting so that we can all look out the window to watch the dolphins jumping.

What a strange and unusual world I work and live in at the moment.

Thailand

2008-01-30T05:24:00.000-05:00

Last time I came to Thailand I spent most of my time in Bangkok and on Ko Toh – a tiny island in the Gulf of Thailand. This time, due to work constraints I couldn’t travel too far from the ship which meant I got to experience the seedier, underbelly side of Thailand. How so might you ask? Well our ship was berthed two hours outside of Bangkok and the closest city to us was Pattaya – a city infamous for prostitution, drugs and sex tourism. What experience it was to see that side of life!

Here is how my time in Thailand played out: I spent the first couple days traveling to Bangkok for meetings for work. On day 3 I traveled back to Bangkok and met up with my dad. Yup – my dad just happened to be in Bangkok! He emailed me just a couple days before we arrived to let me know that he would be there the same time as me. So he and I spent the day in Bangkok – touring through China town and taking the water taxi up and down the river. I stayed in Bangkok with my dad that night and in the morning we headed down to Pattaya. For the next two days we spent time on the beach, eating good food and getting massages – I know, tough life, right? The last two days I spent splitting my time between work and more time in Pattaya on the beach.

So now back to Pattaya – what can I say? No matter what people say sex tourism is alive and well in Thailand. Everywhere you turned there were hords of prostitutes outside of bars trying to lure men inside, signs advertising services of women and services of men, signs advertising strip shows, go-go dancing, bondage bars, leather bars, fetish bars and all kinds of weird shows that I don’t even want to think about what they would entail. Liquor and drugs were widely available and erectile dysfunction drugs were particularly prevalent.

It kind of turned my stomach to see all these European and American men (mostly ugly, fat and obviously not the cream of any society) bargaining for the services of these Thai women and men; taking part in and drooling over all the shows, bars and “services” offered. I was particularly saddened when I walked down one street in Pattaya at 11:30am with bar after bar of women standing outside and there was one bar full of women (if you can call them that) dressed in catholic school-girl kilts. I don’t think any of them could have been older than 15 or 16.

Now I know that this kind of thing exists everywhere but I was just shocked by how open and how publicly all of this was advertised. The other shocker I had in Pattaya was to see how publicly exploited children were. As in many parts of Asia child labor is a big issue and a big concern in Thailand. Usually the issue is swept under the rug, hidden and not discussed openly. In Pattaya I walked down the street at 11:30pm and saw a girl who couldn’t have been more than 6 dressed in a tutu doing contortion moves and tricks with a hoola hoop. There was her mother (I’m guessing) encouraging her to do more tricks to attract more of a crowd and more money. A little further down the road there was a little boy who couldn’t have been more than 8 doing tricks with a soccer ball. Very sad.

Thailand used to be a big draw for pedophiles because pretty much anyone or anything is “for sale”. Now we were told on the ship that there has been a crack down on the child sex trade and that most of that scene has gone underground or forced into Cambodia. After what I witnessed my guess is that, unfortunately, the child sex trade is probably not too far underground and still very much alive and well in Thailand.

Lest you begin to think that all of Thailand is simply a haven for pedophiles, drug addicts, low lifes and sleazy characters I must stress that I was in a city infamously known for catering to this sex market. Thailand is a beautiful country with lovely beaches, majestic jungles and mountains, vibrant indigenous communities, fast paced cities and an interesting culture and history. The sex trade is a sad part of Thailand’s reality and I’m glad I got the chance to see it with my own eyes, but I’m also very much looking forward to coming back someday and exploring more of the positive parts of Thailand.

A Whole New World

2008-01-20T06:58:00.000-05:00

I keep saying that the song “A Whole New World” from Little Mermaid should be the theme song for this second voyage. It’s been amazing how different things are this second semester as opposed to last semester – mostly all good differences. We have policies, procedures and protocols; we have printers, internet and intranet systems; we have 50% of the staff that have sailed on a ship before and understand the environment; we have an Executive team that is present, involved and not living in bizarro world.

The students are very different too. I wasn’t expecting them to be so different. We have 50 less students which makes the whole community feel different but beyond that, in general, this group feels very different. They seem more laid back, less demanding, and flexible (you TSS folks reading this can stop giggling). It wasn’t that last semester’s group was hard to handle or super high expectation – I think we all lived in crazy world last semester and that impacted the entire community and how we interacted. I also think that last semester’s group was unique. I think it is a unique person who takes the risk on being the first on a brand new, untested adventure such as this one. We had risk takers, strong leaders, strong personalities and change makers. All good things but when you get 200 all together in the same community (plus add staff with similar characteristics) it surely creates some fireworks.

I am feeling pretty good at how things have kicked off. I feel totally supported by our Executive Team and the staff from all departments are in such a different place preparation-wise that we’ve been able to support each other’s departmental efforts and collaborate a lot more.

Now don’t get me wrong there is still a lot of craziness, chaos and frustrations going on but I don’t feel like I am going completely crazy and living in a completely unsupported, surreal, bizarre world (like I did last semester). I think the fact that there are only 3 months left makes it easier to have perspective too. I’m not wishing the experience away by any means, but last semester when things crept into psychotic world the thought of living in that world for 8 months scared the crap out of me. Three months? I can do anything for three months!

China Highlights

2008-01-19T05:45:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the delay in getting this posting out to you. So after two days of being anchored the fog lifted enough that we finally made it into Shanghai. We lost two days of our seven in port but I was ok with that since I was just there a month before. This time around it was cold, cold, cold! They were in a deep freeze and it even snowed one evening (a rarity in Shanghai). I have to say – I really could have passed on having any winter weather at all this year. It made going outside to go anywhere feel like a chore. It really reconfirmed to me, yet again, how much I dislike the cold weather. I guess I shouldn’t complain because essentially I only had to live through two whole weeks of winter this entire year. I know – tough life.

The one thing that did disappoint me about coming into port two days late was that I couldn’t have a coat made. At the end of our stay in Shanghai last semester I had made the decision that I was going to treat myself and have a coat made when I returned. With two less days in port I just couldn’t bring myself to go looking into getting a coat without having visions of 6 year old kids staying up all night to sew my coat. It was a bummer – especially when I was in the Fabric Market area and saw the perfect style coat. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

All in all my second week in China was pretty good. I think my favorite part of both visits were all the massages. I got a massage pretty much every other day – foot massage, Chinese massage, health meridian massage (that was the best!!!), Thai massage, massage done by blind people. Yup I spoiled myself. Here is the best part -- all those massages ranged from $10-$25 for 90 minutes! I wish massages weren’t so expensive at home because I really do believe there are a lot of health benefits. Often times I came out of these massages feeling relaxed, re-energized, better able to breath and just overall feeling great.

Lest you think my entire life has become massages and indulgence let me tell you that we have jumped right back into a crazy pace on the ship since we left China. I’ve been working an average of 10-12 hours everyday. With only 6 days until Thailand we are scrambling to get the staff and students ready for their next round of field programs. And to top it all off we’ve hit some really rocky water. Everything is sliding, shaking, creaking and sometimes flying. My gigantic nightstand console crashed to the floor at midnight last night and while I was trying to put everything back in the drawers in my shocked, sleepy state another wave came and the nightstand crashed over again – this time onto my head. Have no fear I am no worse for the wear other than a large, sore knot on the top of my head.

I know that I still owe a posting about how this second semester has kicked off. Maybe tomorrow I will work on that – I’m losing steam right now. Hope you’re all staying warm!

Stuck in the Fog

2008-01-11T00:34:00.001-05:00

We are still anchored at the mouth of the Yangtze River waiting to see if we can get into Shanghai. Signs are not looking good – the fog is just not letting up. We are the only passenger ship trying to get into Shanghai. Here is an article about our situation:

Coal ships stranded as fog causes power crisis
By Dong Zhen and Lu Feiran
2008-1-11
The fog engulfing the city this week has had major flow-on effects, including a dire shortage of thermal coal, disruption to water, air and land traffic and a deterioration in air quality.

The Shanghai Maritime Safety Administration yesterday opened emergency water channels to allow coal-supply vessels to make deliveries. Administration officials said continuous fog had caused water visibility to drop below 100 meters on the Huangpu River and waterways at the mouth of the Yangtze River. Shipping traffic was suspended, keeping regular coal-supply vessels out of city waterways.

By yesterday, the city’s coal supply for electricity generation had reached crisis point, prompting the authority to open green channels for large delivery vessels.

The administration is giving priority whenever possible to the coal ships that must use the deep-water channel to reach the city’s major power plants. Coal vessels with minor defects will also be allowed to operate as a temporary measure to help relieve the shortage.

Daqing 63, a vessel carrying 20,000 tons of coal pulled into Luojin dock under heavy fog yesterday. The coal arrived just in time to support continued operation of the Luojin Power Plant.

General shipping traffic at the mouth of the Yangtze was only open for about an hour after 9pm on Wednesday before all vessels were required to stop and anchor or return to ports.

As of late yesterday afternoon, shipping traffic was still suspended, with some vessels already stuck for days.

Authorities said yesterday more than 500 incoming ships were waiting at sea to visit Shanghai.

The fog caused delays or cancellations of nearly 200 incoming and departing flights at the two city airports from midnight on Wednesday until last night. As of 6pm yesterday, Hongqiao Airport resumed normal operations but Pudong International Airport had limited traffic.

Connections Halfway Around the World

2008-01-10T01:59:00.000-05:00

Life was so crazed over the holidays that I didn’t get a chance to write about the end of last semester or my time in Hong Kong. Currently we are sitting at the mouth of the Yangtze River waiting for fog to lift so that we can head into Shanghai. Yup we are missing our first day in port just sitting and waiting. Since we have this extra day on the ship I’m treating it kind of like a Saturday (we don’t get weekends on the ship) and using it as a catch up day – finishing up work stuff, cleaning my cabin, catching up on emails, actually relaxing a little and writing a couple blog postings.

So after our week in China we headed to Hong Kong. We spent two days in Hong Kong and then we did the strangest thing. We went back out to sea for three days just to then come back to Hong Kong. We did that so that we had time to finish up classes and hold some closing activities. After all of the chaos, disorganization and craziness of the semester all of the students were crying and talking about how amazing this experience had been for them. Even during the worst parts I knew that students would probably feel this way. No matter what happens on the ship you can’t go halfway around the world visiting eight countries and not leave unchanged and unaffected by the experience. I’m thankful that for most students, in the end, the total experience outweighed the frustrations and challenges that wrought the entire semester.

Those last days on the ship and our last day in Hong Kong were a bit crazed for me. I didn’t know quite where to focus. Wrapping up this semester, preparing and planning for next semester, getting ready to go home for Christmas and saying goodbye to everyone from this semester. It was a lot to balance. When we arrived in Hong Kong I was trying to balance saying good bye to everyone and welcoming my dad to the ship. Yes – my dad came to Hong Kong to see me! That was quite fun. It was really nice to be able to show him the ship. The ship is my world right now and it’s weird to think that no one in my life has seen it or has any concept of what it is like. That’s why it was exciting to welcome him on board and show him around.

After many tearful goodbyes I left the ship and my dad and I spent two days together before I headed home. We actually spent Christmas Eve in Macao – it was a Portugeuse colony until it was turned back over to Chinese control in 1999. Now it’s like the Las Vegas of the East. I have to say it was pretty cool to see my dad in Hong Kong. We only see each other every few months so going four months without seeing each other was no big deal. But it felt like a big deal to be hanging out together halfway around the world. It was quite fun and I appreciate that he came all that way to see me.

The whole wrap up of the semester, saying goodbye, our time in Hong Kong, my quick trip home and now the start of this second semester have all been such a blur. I don’t think that all that has happened in the last month has totally sunk in yet. I haven’t had time to wrap my brain around it all and think about how I feel. Can you tell I'm feeling a bit scattered? I think to have a better sense of how I am feeling about last semester I need to write about how this first semester has begun.

That will be my next post – stay tuned!

Around the World in Eight Days

2008-01-06T03:29:00.000-05:00

After this voyage I can say that I have circumnavigated the globe TWICE on a ship. Only .08 % of the world’s population has ever traveled completely around the world. Now I’m on my way to having done it twice! It’s always the cool personal fact that I share.

But now I have a new personal fact that can top that:: I can now say that I have circumnavigated the globe in less than 8 days! Yup – completely around the globe in less than 8 days. I flew out of Hong Kong at 11:45pm on December 24. We flew West across Russia and Europe landing in London at 5am on December 25 (1pm Hong Kong time). I sat in Heathrow Airport for seven long hours then boarded another plane that left at 11:15am (7pm Hong Kong time) and arriving in Philadelphia at 2:30pm on December 25 (3:30am on December 26 Hong Kong time). Ok if you are doing the math that is 28 hours of travel – if you add my travel time to the airports at each end the number goes up to 30 hours.

I then spent 5 ½ quick days visiting everyone in VA, PA, MD and NJ (yup – made it to all 4 states). On December 31st I left at 4am for the airport and took off from Philly at 7am flying West to LA. I landed in LA at about 10am (1pm East Coast time). At 12:15pm we took off for Hong Kong and landed 15 hours later at 7:40pm on January 1st (6:40am on January 1st East Coast time). Again 28 hours of travel.

58 hours of travel for approximately 130 hours of time home in the States. And a complete rotation around the globe. Pretty crazy. Pretty exhausting. Pretty cool. And believe it or not….Pretty worth it. Home was just what I needed to re-energize me for the start of this new semester.

Now if I could just get over this WICKED jet lag – 5 nights of waking up WIRED around 3:30am and not even the slightest sign of improvement. I guess it’s the price I pay for putting my body through 12 hours of jetlag twice in one week.

I apologize for my long delay in getting a posting up – but as you can tell from my story – I’ve been a little bit busy globe trotting. I’m back on the ship now and the new semester has started (students arrived on the ship 11 hours after I got back on the ship).

I hope that you all had fabulous holidays and you’re all settling well into the new year. I’m pretty crazy busy with work at the moment but things should get better once we arrive in Shanghai. I should be able to post more and update you on how the new semester is going. Cheers!

Capturing a Moment

2007-12-20T06:42:00.000-05:00

My first trip to China was three weeks long. During that trip I took enough pictures to fill three large photo albums and I collected enough ticket stubs, brochures and paraphernalia to fill an entire expanding file folder. Looking back now that seems hilarious to me. When I went to Thailand for three weeks in 2001 I took enough pictures to fill one photo album. When I sailed with Semester at Sea – visiting nine countries - I never put a photo album together but took a couple hundred pictures and shared maybe 100 of them on a picture slideshow. I’ve now been gone for 4 months and have visited 8 countries so far this semester and have taken maybe 10 pictures in each port.

I mentioned in my last blog entry that over the years I have moved away from trying to document everything about my travel (and living behind the lens of a camera) and instead focus on soaking in the experience in the moment. I consciously made a decision to not worry about snapping pictures at every turn when I sailed with Semester at Sea. This decision was freeing in many ways. It was very freeing to give up worrying about getting the “best shot”. It helped me to shift from looking for things that would “impress” others or look cool to seeking out things and experiences that were significant and meaningful to me. It’s easier to truly engage in an experience when you are not constantly snapping pictures.

It was also freeing because when I travel abroad I still worry about the ethics and etiquette around taking other people’s pictures. Is it appropriate? Will I offend? Will they want money? Do I look like a total obnoxious, rude tourist? Also – I sometimes feel self centered to ask someone to take my picture in front of this place and that site. Plus who wants to see picture after picture of me standing here and posing there? BORING!

In place of pictures I began writing my emails and now my blog. Writing has challenged me to reflect more about what I am learning and how I am growing through these experiences – pushing me past just spitting out a laundry list of the things I saw and what I did. All good things…..

BUT…as folks came back from their trips to Beijing and started sharing pictures I was able to recognize and talk about the places they had been because I remembered them from my own pictures from that first trip to China. Having pictures is another way to remember your experience, solidify your memories, and jog your memory. It got me wondering if maybe I had gone too far in the other direction – not taking enough pictures. Will I later regret not having more pictures of the friends I’ve made and the places I’ve been? My emails and blogs are great ways to remember and jog my memory (I’ve found myself reading my emails from my SAS voyage more than once during the course of this current journey) but nothing can replace having a snapshot of a place, a sunset, a friend.

This makes me realize that trying to “capture a moment” is trickier than it first seems. I don’t think I’m failing at it but I do think I need to strike a better balance. As I get ready to head into the second half of this journey around the world I think I want to commit to myself to make a more concerted effort to take a few more pictures. I want to be able to share with all of you some of the people and the places that are shaping my life at this moment. Oh and I want to be able to show you that cool shot of me standing on a street in Turkey, riding in a rickshaw in India or climbing Table Mountain in South Africa.

China Then and Now

2007-12-16T10:02:00.000-05:00

It’s been 12 years since my first trip to China. In fact that trip in January 1996 was my first trip out of the US (other than Canada). In those 12 years I have visited over 20 countries for leisure, work, service and adventure. That averages out to almost two countries every year!

It was interesting to spend a week in the first place that I traveled abroad 12 years after that experience. Throughout the week I found myself seeing sites and flashing back to that first trip. I also spent a lot of time reflecting on just how much I have changed since that first experience abroad. Here are a couple of my thoughts…

Things shock me less – The different and unfamiliar seem more familiar and expected. Streets filled with rickshaws and motor bikes…rural villages with no running water…cities with insane pollution…being stumped about how to communicate…chickens being killed and defeathered in a back alleys of restaurants…whole pigs being cooked on spits… unique foods and tastes…unfamiliar customs… shacks… dirt roads…grand palaces…magnificent waterfalls and wildlife…humbling historical sites and ruins…mysterious and grand religious sites…hawkers… beggars…new sights…new sounds…new smells – these kinds of things don’t surprise me much anymore, in fact, I expect to experience them when I travel (and I can be disappointed when I don’t find them).

Now don’t get me wrong – this doesn’t mean that I am not still in awe of the places that I visit and that traveling has become banal or ordinary to me – quite the contrary. Even though I may have less “head spinning” moments I think I’m actually able to absorb the experience in a deeper way because my head IS spinning less.

Being catapulted into a place that is completely different from any place I’ve ever been is one of things I love about traveling. Learning about a new place, a new history, a new culture and how to navigate it all is exciting to me.

Things scare and intimidate me less – I am a worrier by nature (like you didn’t all already know that!). When I first traveled abroad independently and when I led service learning trips abroad I worried and stressed about EVERYTHING. Where do I buy the ticket? Will they understand me? Where will I eat? How will I order? What if the train doesn’t stop at my stop? What if the rickshaw driver didn’t understand me and takes me to a totally different place? How do I call the contact person? What if I don’t find a place to stay? Did I get on the bus in the right direction? What will I do if our luggage doesn’t show up? I can’t do that or go there because I don’t know what to do or how to do it!! I could go on and on with examples of my neuroses.

Just recently I have realized that I worry less and less about these kinds of things. It is now harder to catapult me completely out of my comfort zone. I think years and years of travel has shown me that things always find a way of sorting themselves out. No matter what happens or how seemingly bad or hopeless a situation may seem things always work out in the end. It helps that I’ve become familiar with what kinds of “unexpected” or unusual things to expect when traveling in different cultures. Knowing how to ask the right questions, learning tricks for getting information I need, strategizing about how to communicate through language barriers, understanding customs, reading cultural nuances – all help in making things go smoothly. I’ll never completely recover from my worry affliction but now I try not to let these worries consume my entire experience. I try to be smart, be proactive, be polite, be assertive, pay attention and trust the process.

I approach the experience differently – I find myself spending less time documenting my travel experiences by taking pictures and collecting paraphernalia and more time experiencing/observing and reflecting/writing. This voyage especially has reminded me that traveling is less about what I’ve seen and more about how I process what I’ve seen and how it changes me. I used to collect stuff and take pictures that I thought people would think was cool. Now I know that people don’t really care about my trips rather than a couple of quick shots. What is more important is what I am learning, how I am changing, what I am taking away from the experience. I need to choose places and experiences that intrigue and draw me rather than hitting all the big, exciting, “expected” travel sites and destinations.

This current voyage has been a struggle for me for many reasons (many of which I have shared here). I think one of those struggles has been around the fact that I didn’t realize until now just how independent and travel savvy I’ve become. Traveling on a ship used to feel like a safe, easy way to get around the world (and don’t get me wrong it still is) but now it sometimes feels restrictive to me. Also, I’ve been hitting some big “sites” and popular countries on this voyage but most of them haven’t excited me or enticed me much. Have I "outgrown" this type of travel? Not really - I just think I'm ready to explore other, different ways of traveling.

These reflections have been good lessons to learn because it helps me to decide and shape how and where I want to travel in the future. As always I’m looking for travel to teach me more about me and once again it has not let me down. As we begin the next voyage in just two short weeks with 10 more countries before us all I can say is bring on the lessons!

The Power of Endorphins

2007-12-02T20:15:00.001-05:00

Before I left Philly I was taking an awesome Urban Boot Camp class. 6am on the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum (yes –the Rocky steps) we would run the stairs, do dips, push ups, lunges, suicides, sprints, bear crawls, fire hydrants, etc. It was great! I had become very bored and lazy in any workout routine and this class was just the shot I needed to get myself back in shape.

I knew that living on the ship would make it challenging to do any fitness activities. Last time I sailed I was the most physically INactive I had ever been in my entire life. My hope was that I could keep some of my momentum going from my boot camp class and start up a fitness routine immediately. Well, then, as you all know, the first month and a half of the voyage was a tour through hell so I barely had the energy to be social let alone do anything physical.

After Panama I did attempt to work out occasionally – run on the treadmill, lift some weights and do some of the exercises we did in our class. This kind of bored me and I had trouble committing to it more than every couple of days. Plus if it was rocky at all the treadmill was no place to be. So I decided to join the 7am Pilates class. I had taken Pilates before and enjoyed it. That class was good and kept me minimally active. On the way to New Zealand I began teaching a RAD class which added to my physical activity but I still felt like I was missing something.

After Australia the student who was teaching Pilates decided that with her class load she couldn’t run the class anymore. Great – what now? Well I started teaching a second RAD class, but didn’t have anymore of a plan beyond that. Then one of the students who is a Personal Trainer decided to start running a Boot Camp class at 6:45am every morning. Bingo! Just what I needed.

I’ve only been doing the class for 4 days now but WOW what a difference! I have more energy throughout the day, I love the sense of accomplishment when I have sore muscles and most importantly my attitude is more positive and my mood is far better than it has been for the entire voyage.

I think there are lots of reasons for my improved mood and attitude. We are on a longer leg which is always easier for me….lots of time to get everyone prepared for the next port and less of a crunch and cycle of crisis. I know that I will be headed home soon for a short visit which is exciting and encouraging. Being at the halfway point of this experience feels like a milestone. It’s not that I’m wishing the time away, but this type of life is intense and feels like the equivalent of running a marathon. Knowing I made it through the halfway point feels like an accomplishment – and hell if I made it this far I can do anything for 4 short months (especially considering what we’ve already been through)! All are reasons that I attribute to my improved spirits, however as I reflect on it I still think that the number one contributor is Tripsie’s boot camp class. It’s been quite shocking to me just how much my perspective on things has shifted just in the last couple of days since I started the class.

Endorphins have a powerful effect on the human body and spirit. I’ve always known that working out makes you feel better about life….research tells us that….my past experience tells me that but yet it’s still something that I have to mentally struggle to commit to time and time again.

I think the power of exercise and the effect of endorphins was particularly striking to me this time around for two reasons. One, it’s really difficult to get ANY physical activity on the ship. I’ve always been one to try and get small bits of physical activity throughout the day – take the stairs rather than the elevator, walk instead of drive. When I lived in Philly I always walked to work – what a great time to clear my head, gain perspective, get some fresh air and aim for reaching my 10,000 steps per day goal. Opportunities for even small bits of activity are few and far between on the ship. There are only about 50 steps between my cabin and my office and about 30 steps from my cabin to the dining room. Second, when you live in the same place that you work it is extremely difficult to get distance from your work or time to gain perspective on what’s happening.

Doing this boot camp class in the morning has catapulted me forward in both of those areas – already I can think more clearly and can feel my perspective shifting and my body is getting the basic physical challenge that it needs. Wow – what a difference a workout can make!

The Power of Place and Experience

2007-11-30T21:05:00.000-05:00

I’m still feeling a bit disillusioned by the fact that on this first semester we are going to places that are so “easy” – the language is easy, it’s easy to find things you need, there are lots of familiar things, it’s comfortable to travel, tour and talk to people. I know those sound like good things but I believe that a trip around the world should be the opposite of comfortable, familiar and easy. The whole point is to be catapulted into the unfamiliar – your senses assaulted from the moment you touch ground, your cultural frameworks challenged with every interaction, your comfort zones pushed to levels you didn’t know possible and communication tactics forced to be creatively and delicately approached at every step.

I’ve been reflecting on this a lot recently because I’m just now realizing that one of my challenges this semester is that I don’t feel that I have been catapulted out of my comfort zone in many ways during our port visits. At first I was critical of myself asking, “Have I really become so jaded about traveling to new places that it doesn’t feel novel or exciting to me anymore?” That feels really icky and gross to think that might be the case. Where is the openness to learning and experiencing in those thoughts? Then I started thinking about my last trip around the world. What made that different? I think a big answer to that is the places we visited. They were all places that did assault your senses, places that were totally unfamiliar and challenging to our comfort zones. These places threw us off balance and challenged our thinking & our stereotypes, and opened us up to so much learning.

Is this happening for some students on this current voyage? Yes, I’m sure it is, but I’m sad because overall I’m not so sure how much it is really happening this semester for students, faculty and staff. We have gone to “easy” places that feel more familiar than foreign in many ways. In fact the Spanish speaking students aren’t getting to experience a country where they don’t speak the language until almost our last port!

I joined TSS because I was excited about their mission and goals around helping students develop into “global citizens”. Now that I am almost through the first semester I worry that we are creating “global tourists” rather than “global citizens”. Why is that happening? I think it’s happening for many reasons – there have been many missed opportunities on this voyage to prepare students, challenge students and frame things for students but I believe the ports we are visiting are a big contributor.

Unfortunately the geography of the world is not going to change and there are only so many places we can get to in a reasonable amount of time (don’t want to be at sea for three weeks!). That is part of the reason this semester’s itinerary was built the way it was. TSS has particular challenges in creating a dynamic itinerary because Royal Caribbean has very strict safety guidelines as to where we are allowed to go AND because we have so many different nationalities on board – some countries won’t allow certain nationalities in – so that restricts us as well.

The good news is that next semester has a very different itinerary. It will be interesting to be on this second voyage to see how it compares to the first – will going to less “easy” and “familiar” countries make a difference? I guess we shall see.

The other good news is that regardless of the countries we visit students are getting a multicultural experience and being challenged. That fact that we have faculty, staff, students and crew from so many different countries poses challenges and opportunities to learn on a daily basis. You can never say that TSS is not an interesting experiment!

As for me, I’m trying to be open to whatever learning I can in each port. Have the places we have visited thus far left my head spinning? No – but I also know that taking part in an adventure like this is not about any one experience in a particular port. It’s about the total experience – the cumulative experience that builds up from port to port. I guess I have to remember that there will be different lessons for me on these two voyages than there was on my last. What those lessons are – I’m not sure yet and I probably won’t know until much after this experience ends. I guess I just have to be open to whatever comes my way and soak it all in.

Australia

2007-11-25T02:00:00.000-05:00

6am last Sunday: I stood on the front top deck of the ship watching as we passed through the two heads into Sydney Harbor. The sun was that brilliant bright color that can only be experienced just after sun rise. It sparkled off the water and glinted off the lighthouse on the South Head. We rounded the corner and caught our first glimpse of the Sydney Opera House and the Harbor Bridge. There it was -- we were officially in Sydney, Australia. The Australian students are jumping out of their skin as they see a few friends and family standing on the shore waving us in. A cockatoo flies right in front of the ship as we sail by the Opera House just before we pass under the Sydney Harbor Bridge. Wow, what a welcome to Sydney!

Before we arrived Australia was feeling big and overwhelming to me. There is so much to do, so much to see, where do you start? Once we arrived I recognized that some of my anxiety stemmed from feeling the pressure to “see and do it all”. I also realized that that is not what I wanted to do – there was nothing that really jumped out at me as something I HAD to do while in Australia, I wasn’t feeling compelled to spend loads of money and I needed some down time after our stressfully short trip from NZ to Oz. So I decided to just take it slow and enjoy Sydney.

My highlights in Australia? – Two that stand out to me. First – THE BEACH! I made it to the beach for the first time this entire voyage. On our second day here a couple of students and I headed to Bondi Beach – a very famous city beach in Sydney. We didn’t do anything but lie on the beach, eat lunch at a nice café and walk some of the coastal walk trail. It was just what I needed. The beach felt so good to me that I decided to go to another beach the next day. This time I went with the PR officer on the ship – Ashley. We took a 20 minute ferry ride over to Manly Beach. Manly was smaller than Bondi and had a very comfortable, small beach town feel. Again we just lounged on the beach and ate pizza. The beaches in Sydney were very nice, the air temperature and the sun were perfect, but the water was VERY cold. It is spring in Australia right now and the water temperature was probably comparable to the water temperature in NJ in late May or early June – take your breathe away kind of cold.

My second highlight? Dinner at a student’s family’s house in the suburbs on our first night. Caitlin is one of the Australian students on the ship – she is my neighbor on the ship, we both take the pilates class every day while we are sailing and we hung out a bit together in NZ. She is a law student at Macquarie University in Sydney and her family lives about 45 minutes outside of Sydney. She decided to invite a number of us from the ship to her house for dinner on the day we arrived. There were about 13 of us that headed out to the burbs for a BBQ.

Caitlin’s family was great – they were warm and welcoming to all of us. It wasn’t until we were all there that it hit us how nice it was to be in a home – with couches and pets, and a back yard and a comfortable floor and a home cooked meal. The meal – that was the best – we barely talked as we ate sausages, chicken satay, au gratin potatoes and real salad with all kinds of yummy veggies. I think we were quite a funny site marveling in the yumminess of it all – sighing and savoring every bite. You’d have thought we had just returned from living in the wilderness for months. For dessert her mom made homemade Pavlova – a traditional dessert made of a baked meringue shell filled with a whipped cream-like topping and fruit. It was fantastic. It all felt so comfortable and, well….homey.

Don’t get me wrong – the ship is home to us, but it’s far from the same feel as a real house. We don’t have comfy couches for lounging, we don’t have pets wandering about, we don’t have normal home smells like fresh laundry & food cooking, I don’t walk out of my cabin with my pajamas on or without thinking about if my hair looks presentable. It has been over three months since I had a home cooked meal or cooked something for myself. Dinner at Caitlin’s was a welcome taste of a home and all of the comfortable and familiar things that go along with that.

The rest of my time in Sydney entailed being a tourist – touring in the Hop on hop off bus, riding to the top of Sydney Tower for a fantastic view of the entire city, visiting the Chinese Gardens, strolling through Darling Harbor, walking through the beautiful Queen Victoria Building that is the most elegant shopping center I’ve ever visited, and shopping at the Rocks outdoor market. I also joined one of our Academic Field Program groups on the day they traveled to wine country in Hunter Valley. It was about a 2 ½ hour drive outside of Sydney. We had a wine tasting at Lindeman’s Winery, a fabulous lunch at an Irish Pub and then we toured the Hunter Valley Gardens. I’m not a huge garden fan but these gardens were beautiful.

All in all I had a nice visit in Sydney. As I write this and think back to my recent posts I feel like they have been generally uninspired recently. Just a tally of the things I did, sites I saw and which touristy things I enjoyed most. This voyage seems so different from my last. I don’t feel like I have the same passion and excitement about the places we are visiting or the sites I’m seeing. I’ve recently been contemplating why it feels so different this time around. I’m starting to formulate some answers and want to share my thoughts….in another post, on another day….stay tuned….

New Zealand

2007-11-15T19:07:00.000-05:00

Blue skies, clear water and green, green, green everywhere – and sheep, lots of sheep. That is how I would describe the bit of New Zealand I saw. I had to work all week but I did have time to get out and see some sights in and around Auckland. It was kind of a relaxing port for me. I got to catch up on email with cheap, fast internet in the city (even got to video chat on Skype!); I got to make phone calls; I got to shop at an outlet mall and go on a world tour of eating. Food on the ship has been lacking in flavor lately so I ate out every chance I got. Thai food, Indian food, Japanese food, Italian food, seafood, burgers, pizza, ice cream, Starbucks, and – yes I’ll admit it – McDonalds. I spent more money eating than anything else. It was all sooooo good though.

My biggest cultural lesson in this port was clothing sizes. On our second day I went outlet shopping at a mall just outside the city. At first I was discouraged because they didn’t have anything smaller than a size 6. At home I usually wear a 4 and occasionally a 6. I finally found a pair of pants in a size 6 but when I got in the dressing room I could barely get them over my thighs. I quickly realized how different sizes are in New Zealand. I wear between an 8 and a 10 in New Zealand sizing! I think part of the sizing difference between countries has to do with all of the vanity sizing that runs rampant in the US. I currently wear a smaller size than I did in high school but yet I definitely have more meat on my body than I did in high school. If the sizes in the US keep getting bigger I’ll be wearing a size 0 before you know it!

So what were my highlights in New Zealand? On our first day in port one of our professors – Dana – the former US Navy Captain celebrated his 70th birthday. How did he want to celebrate? He wanted to run 7km! He felt it was his way of saying “Screw you!” to 70. His original plan was to run 7 miles but since working out on the ship is challenging he didn’t feel that he could prepare and train himself to be ready for 7 miles. And since we were in New Zealand – running 7 km only made sense. He was looking for folks to join him so another professor on the ship – Ken – and I volunteered to join him. It was a rainy day but the air was warm so it was a nice run – we sang Happy Birthday to him at the start and at the end of the run. Funny thing is – I think I was more sore after the run than Dana. I walked funny for 3 days and felt like I was 70!

In the middle of the week one of the Aussie students – Caitlin – and I bought tickets for a winery tour on Waiheke Island. Waiheke is just off the coast of Auckland – only a 35 minute ferry ride. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful island. We did three wine tastings at three gorgeous wineries and even did an olive oil tasting. Apparently Waiheke Island has a climate similar to the Bordeaux (sp??) area in France so their wines are very popular. It was a lovely day and the island had beautiful views of the ocean and of the city.

On our second to last day in port Ken (the business prof that ran with us on day 1) and I rented bikes and road all over the place. We rode up along the harbor and coastal areas of Auckland – beautiful views and great exercise – I even did some hills! We then hopped a ferry over to Devonport Island and rode around the island for some more beautiful views. It was great way to end our time in New Zealand.

It’s been three days since we left Auckland and we only have one more day to go before we arrive in Sydney. We hit some pretty rough water as we headed across to Australia – apparently it’s pretty typical of that stretch of ocean. There was about a day and a half of rocking that made almost everyone feel icky. I rarely feel seasick but there were times that I didn’t feel so well. It just made me wonder – how did I deal with feeling that way (and worse) for over two weeks in January 2005? Ugh – the rocking wasn’t remotely close to what we experienced back then but it was the first time on this voyage that I had similar feelings and flashbacks to what that time was like.

Things have smoothed out and hopefully will remain calm for the rest of our journey to Oz. I should have a few days off during our time in Australia but I have no idea what I want to do. I currently don’t feel all that excited because I know Australia will be expensive like NZ and it’s hard to plan when we have so much to do during this short leg at sea. As always, I’ll figure it out. Cheers, mate!

A Small Rip in the Space Time Continuum

2007-11-06T00:08:00.000-05:00

Gaining hours but losing a day. It’s a weird phenomenon that you get to experience when you live on a ship that is traveling around the world. Since we left Greece we have had 11 days on the ship that were 25 hours long. Yup, every couple nights during each crossing we turn our clocks back by one hour so that by the time we reach our destination we are on local time.

25 hour days are fabulous! What do I do with my extra hour? Sometimes I stay up later and socialize in the staff lounge or hang out with students - chatting or having a Gilmore Girls marathon with them (yes on the ship it’s become my guilty pleasure and escape from reality). Most times I use my extra hour to get up earlier and exercise – if I had 25 hour days all the time I’d be in great shape!

Well the Universe doesn’t just give away hours for free – so how do we pay back all those hours we are gaining? We lose an entire day of our lives of course! We went to bed on Sunday, November 4 and when we woke up it was Tuesday, November 6. Monday, November 5 didn’t exist for us at all on the ship. How’s that for a mind bender? I have a hard time wrapping my brain around exactly where that day went or why it doesn’t exist. I do better than many folks on the ship in understanding how it works because I’ve done it before but it still leaves me scratching my head at times.

The best way I can make sense of it is to think in terms of a Bank. Since we left Greece we have been gaining hours and racking up 11 hours of “debt”. Now that we have crossed the Int’l Dateline and “deposited” 24 hours we now have 13 hours of “credit” left (24 minus the 11 of debt). We will keep gaining hours as we continue but not “owe” the universe any hours because we’ll be using our credit. So every hour we gain is one hour from our lost day (November 5). I don’t know if that is really an accurate description of how it works but it makes sense in my head so I’m sticking with it.

More than anything else I am thankful that we are going the direction we are around the world. If we were going in the other direction that would mean giving hours back as we go and then getting to live one day twice. Living the same day twice would be cool but those 23 hour days would be killer!

Hope you enjoy reading my afternoon musing. Let me know if I missed out on anything good on November 5!

Tahiti

2007-11-04T23:16:00.001-05:00

Twelve days to get from Ecuador to Tahiti – not eleven days like originally planned. True to form we got about a day and half out of Ecuador when we had yet ANOTHER medical emergency. We had to turn around and head back towards the Galapagos Islands. So I can now say I have seen the Galapagos – not been there but seen them from a few miles off shore. You could see sting rays practically jumping out of the water – it was pretty cool.

Unfortunately that delay meant that it was going to take us an extra day to get to Tahiti. Originally we were supposed to arrive at 8am on October 29 and leave at 10pm on October 30. Instead we arrived at noon on October 30 and left at 6pm on October 31. It was a real bummer to lose some of our already short time on land.

So Tahiti – very beautiful place but SUPER expensive. I don’t think I’ve been to a place more expensive. It was ridiculous. Even though it was sad to have to leave land I have to admit it was good that we weren’t there any longer – we all would have gone broke. I think I spent more money during our day and a half in Tahiti then I did in any of our seven days stretches in Ecuador, Panama and Portugal (and I didn’t even spend any money on the second day!!).

During our first half day there I stayed in Papeete – walked around the city and the waterfront with a couple students. Had a great dinner in a French restaurant with a few of the professors on the ship. It was during our second day that I really got to see the beauty of Tahiti. I went on one of the Shore excursions that took us over to Moorea Island (about a 30 minute ferry ride from Tahiti) and after a short drive through the island we got on another boat that took us over to a very tiny, remote island. On the way over to the island our tour guide told us some history of the islands and he spotted a huge sea turtle along the way. I caught a nice glimpse of him before he swam away – biggest turtle I ever saw.

We first stopped in a very shallow area (a little higher than waist deep) and jumped in with our snorkels and masks. Within minutes we were surrounded by gigantic stingrays. They swished around our feet and swam right up to our waists. They were beautiful and their bodies were so smooth and silky. Some of the females were as big as 3 ½ feet across and the males were 2 to 2 ½ feet across. There were also a lot of reef sharks swimming about. They too were about 3 to 3 ½ feet long. Very cool

Next we headed over to the smaller island – just tables, chairs and a couple thatched roof pavilions. Here is where we got to get even more up close and personal with the sting rays. As soon as we arrived the sting rays approached us as friendly as could be. Oh for you environmental and animal friendly folks – no worries they don’t feed the rays – occasionally they will hold fish in their closed hand to lure them with the smell but for the most part they were friendly and social on their own with no prompting. Very tame. If you knelt down in the shallow water the sting rays would come right up and over you – got a couple nice pictures of that. We also did some snorkeling and saw a few cool fish but it wasn’t the best snorkeling I’ve ever done (of course I’m spoiled because Belize and Thailand were the first two places I ever snorkeled).

Then came lunch – fabulous bbq chicken, fish, rice and a delicious native dish – Tahitian coconut marinaded tuna. Our guide made it right in front of us – sushi grade raw tuna marinaded in lime juice then a whole bunch of veggies and coconut milk added to the mix. Toss it all together and voila! It was great – I have the recipe and can make it at home.

A couple more hours of lounging and then we headed home. The feel of that tiny island reminded me a little bit of my amazing trip to Boipeba Island in Brazil – ahhhh so great. Just relaxing and carefree.

So I have been to a few tropical places – Belize, Dominican Republic, Bahamas, St. Thomas (just to name a few) but I have never in my life seen water more brilliant and striking than I did on Moorea Island. It was absolutely breathtaking – the most vibrant blue green color that you can imagine – it was just gorgeous.

Tahiti was a beautiful, nice distraction from the daily routine of work and life on the ship -- all be it expensive and a tad too brief a visit. Glad to say I have been there but doubt I would ever go back. That’s my view on Tahiti and I’m sticking to it. Onwards to New Zealand – only five days away (really only one day away – I wrote this four days ago)!

Sun Worship

2007-10-31T03:54:00.001-04:00

I don’t have many vices – I don’t drink too much (at least not very often), smoking never interested me, I enjoy TV but I can take it or leave it, I eat fairly healthy, and I work out on a fairly regular basis. I go for all my regular checkups to doctors and the dentist and overall I’m pretty conscience about maintaining my overall health and doing things to keep myself “young”. However there is one vice that I just can’t get enough of – THE SUN. I love it – I love the heat on my skin, the feel of the sun penetrating my body, the lift in my mood – I could sit outside all day baking in the heat and be happy, happy, happy.

Ok there is another thing I like about the sun - the vain part of me has to admit I like the look. When I’m tan I look better and healthier. Seeing that healthy glow in the mirror makes getting more sun addictive. I get such a sense of satisfaction standing in the shower after a long day in the sun seeing how much darker my skin has become.

Now I know that this is a very unhealthy practice. I see the moles and freckles multiple all over my body, I see the wrinkles and crevasses prematurely develop and deepen on my face, I know that skin cancer runs in my family and every minute in the sun increases my chances. I know all of these things and yet, still, something draws me to lie in the sun and soak it in every chance I get.

I rationalize my addiction by faithfully wearing sunblock….umm, but of course I can’t wear so much that I don’t get a tan. I also rationalize my addiction by remembering that I only get out in the sun 3 months a year and even then it’s usually relegated to just a few nice weekends. Normally that subdues some of my guilt about the damage I’m inflicting. Well both of those rationalizations are out the window for this year. For probably seven out of the eight months I am away I will be living in eternal summer – with the sun calling to me every day. Also, recently I have taken to spending about an hour outside every day after lunch and since I need to go back to work afterwards and it IS such a short amount of time I don’t always put sunblock on.

So the guilt is back full force – I could end up looking like a wrinkled up, old leather handbag that is dying of skin cancer, looking 10 years older than my actual age. Grrrreat. That’s a good thing to look forward to – and I can only look to myself for blame. Hate that.

Well, you know what? Despite all that I’ve decided I’m still going to soak in the sun. I figure you only live once and if sun worshipping is my worst vice than I’m doing pretty ok.

Just thought I would share my deep thought for the day with you. Hope it hasn’t gotten too cold at home yet :) Happy Halloween!

It's about the small things

2007-10-26T14:34:00.000-04:00

Right now, I am in the middle of the South Pacific Ocean. Our ship is days from land. Wow – not many people can ever say they have been here. That feels special. It’s a small but powerful realization. On my last voyage I had moments like this all time. Small moments when the enormity of the experience or the uniqueness of the moment or the privilege of the opportunity would strike me and hit deep to my core.

I am blowing bubbles on a street in Saigon with a 3 year old boy…I’m eating lunch at a Chinese family’s home in Shanghai…I am standing on the fields where thousands of Cambodians were killed just a few decades ago…I am really witnessing the beauty of Angkor Wat…I am watching the stars light up the night sky in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean…I just negotiated a ride with a rickshaw driver in India…I am sleeping in a tent in Kenya and the Maasai Warriors are keeping watch over camp….I am in a remote village in Brazil buying pottery…I am in the jungle watching Macaws fly over head…I am witnessing an amazing sunset in the Indian Ocean. It was these small moments that made my last voyage for me.

It was a lesson I took with me from that voyage. Over the last two and half years I have tried to be intentional about finding and celebrating the small moments in life. Sitting on the beach… walking home from work with friends….playing in blanket tents with Parker and Campbell…running on Boathouse row or in front of the Art Museum. These are the moments that make life….well life.

I came into this second voyage ready to soak in all of the small moments of awe and wonder that happen when you travel around the world. I have shared with all of you the struggles I have had with this current voyage. The work stresses, the disorganization, the chaos and insanity, my struggle to decide to stick with next semester. Last month when we were in Panama a realization hit me harder than any of those stressors or frustrations. It hit me that I wasn’t enjoying the little moments. In Portugal I didn’t have one moment when I thought, “Am I really here? How lucky am I?” We crossed the Atlantic Ocean during exceptionally calm seas and I didn’t get outside once to take in that sight. When we came through the Panama Canal I wasn’t outside witnessing that feat for more than 30 minutes the entire day (and it took an entire day to get through the canal). Even when I did try to take the time to find those moments I was so exhausted and stressed there was no joy, there was no awe. In fact, during the Canal crossing I fought back tears as I watched us go through one of the Canal locks because I realized that I was so stressed that I just didn’t care. How could I not care about going through the Panama Canal? How could I not be awed by the opportunity?

This realization is the one that really sent me spinning with regards to whether or not I should stay on the ship for next semester. It left me feeling very defeated – the question was not could I handle it? Or could I make it better or would I be running away? The questions became: If I’m not enjoying the little moments than why am I here? What was the point? Why was a sacrificing the joys at home if I wasn’t finding joy in even the tiniest moments? It made it feel like the answer was clear and I just needed to come to terms with that reality.

All along I said that I couldn’t and shouldn’t judge this experience or make any decisions until after Ecuador when our work pace could level off a bit. Smart decision. Last week when we were Ecuador – I had a moment. I was on a bus on the way to Cuenca when I thought to myself, “I am on a bus headed for the Andes Mountains in the middle of Ecuador – wow, how cool?”. Small thought, but a big moment. I felt it coming back - the excitement, the wonder and the awe. It was ever so small – just a tiny spark, a split second but it gave me such hope. Could it be that I still had it in me to find and soak in the small moments? I hadn’t been shattered beyond repair with regards to this particular experience?

Since then I have felt more tiny sparks reminding me that this experience is special and unique. They are slow to come and few and far between but those moments are starting to come back to me. I’m hoping that I can keep the momentum going. The frustrations, stressors and disappointment in decisions being made all still exist but they seem a million times more bearable when I have those little moments to take away.

Thanks for listening - I hope that you are finding the tiny moments of wander, awe and gratitude in your day!

Love and missing
Christy

Ecuador

2007-10-19T11:04:00.000-04:00

When I traveled with Semester at Sea I was less than thrilled to be heading towards our two ports of call in South America. After visiting areas in Asia and Africa that were fairly safe and fairly easy to communicate – all we heard about was the crazy amounts of petty crime and language being a huge challenge. Turns out that Brazil and Venezuela were both fabulous! Since then I have visited Peru and now I can add Ecuador to my list of South American countries. Like Brazil and Venezuela, Ecuador was sort of surprise for me. Looking back over my seven days there I am struck with just how amazingly friendly, helpful and kind everyone was. Whether it was our in-country university partner or the cashier at the grocery store everyone in Ecuador seemed to go out of their way to help you out.

So what were my highlights of Ecuador? Good food for one – on our first night in Ecuador I went with a bunch of folks to a place that only local Ecuadorians go to. I was skeptical at first – plastic chairs, dirty plastic table cloths, and only three entrees on the menu. We had cheese empanadas, patacones (friend plantains) and each had an entrée. The empanadas were to die for, the patacones were great and the entrees were huge and very good. The chicken was flavorful and perfectly cooked and the rice was perfect. All of the food plus beer and sodas added up to $3 a piece for dinner. On our last day some of us went out for a yummy lunch that included soup, a drink, entrée and dessert for $1.75. There was also this traditional Ecuadorian soup – it was a creamy potato soup with cheese and avocado in it – delish!

Another highlight for me was all the wildlife in the city of Guayaquil (and I’m not talking about the night life). On our first day there – a few of us were wandering the city and came across this very interesting park. It was full of iguanas! They were all over the place – in the trees, in the pond, and walking on the sidewalks. All of the iguanas are very unafraid of humans – they will walk right past you (or over you) and even let you touch them. It turns out that that particular park is informally called Iguana park because of the large volume of iguanas that live there. I counted over twenty iguanas in just one tree! There are also tons of turtles – all shapes, sizes and species living in this park. After visiting Iguana park I noticed iguanas in other parts of the city – I saw them in the big plaza where the TSS shuttle was picking us up and I even saw one cross a busy downtown street.

A third highlight for me in Ecuador is that I actually got away for a couple of days. I know that many of you think of me as an adventurous traveler but if I am honest I have to admit that I am not. Usually when I travel I am with a group or a tour, with someone who speaks the language or knows where they are going or I have a home base like the ship that makes it easy. I haven’t done much independent traveling – other than a couple days in Peru before our tour started and my three weeks in Thailand with my dad and some random day trips in some cities that is about it. Thailand doesn’t even really count because my friend Karen who had lived there for almost two years told us exactly what to do and where to go while we were there.

For awhile now I’ve been thinking that I wanted to stretch my traveling wings and do some more independent traveling – in fact I debated about whether or not I would feel too restricted or restrained traveling with another shipboard program.

Well while in Ecuador I definitely got to stretch my independent travel wings and actually did something completely uncharacteristic of me. I did a two and half day trip to a mountain town in the middle of Ecuador – no research, no plans, no reservations and no safety net of going with someone who speaks the language.

One of the Intercultural Residence Counselors, Chris (a shy, young British guy), and I realized that we both had the same time free and both had an interest in going to Cuenca so we decided to go together. Cuenca is a city located south of Quito in the middle of the Andes about four hours away from Guayaquil. Descriptions about the city talked about it’s quaint feel, beautiful architecture and numerous cathedrals and churches. It is also believed that the Incans had a trail through Cuenca that connected Cusco, Peru to Quito, Ecuador. Since I hiked the ancient Incan religious trail to Machu Piccu last September – why not see another city along the ancient Incan “highway”?

So Chris and I left the ship one morning with just a small backpack each and a map of Cuenca that we got out of advertising tourist brochure. Our only plan was to get to the bus station and buy a ticket to Cuenca – beyond that we had no plan. It was a holiday weekend in Ecuador so we had no idea if it would be easy or difficult to get a hotel room. That felt a little bit scary but not too bad. Here is the scary part…

For those of you who don’t already know I am pretty terrible with all languages. It’s one of my few regrets in life that I didn’t learn a language when I was younger (or get over my insecurities and fears of sounding stupid when I had the chance to learn in high school). The extent of my language vocabulary in any country is usually: yes, no, thank you, hello, goodbye or good day, how much and maybe a few numbers. Just before we leave the ship Chris and I talk and I realize that I am going to be the better language speaker (that is REALLY scary if you’ve heard me trying to speak any Spanish words). So we have absolutely no plans and I have to figure out how to communicate at every step along the way. GREEEAAT! Needless to say this did not start off as the nice, relaxing time away that I so desperately needed.

Of course there were no taxis just inside the port area like there had been the rest of the week so we got a taxi right outside the port (mom close your eyes on this part - an illegal cab in the unsafe part of the city just outside the port). Amazingly I was able to bargain the cab driver, we got to the bus station, figured out where to go to purchase our $6 bus tickets for the 4 hour ride to Cuenca – all without incident.

The bus ride up was very interesting. The first 2 hours were on the flat coastal area then the last two hours felt like we were going straight up – the vegetation changed, the temperature changed, the look of the villages changed, we drove straight up through the cloud cover and kept going. I think Cuenca’s elevation is over 3,000 meters (I forget how to convert to feet for you). We saw a lot of rural villages along the way – my favorite site was when we drove past a road side stand where they had a huge pig split down the middle, laid flat with a grate on each side of the pig and they were spinning it like it was on a spit to cook it.

Ok this story is getting way too long. We get to Cuenca – got a cab to drop us off in the middle of the city, wandered into a random hostel-like hotel and got a room for two nights. We spent the next two days exploring the city – we just walked everywhere. Our biggest challenge was that it was a holiday weekend so lots of things were closed. It was ok though – it was nice to just walk, see the river, walk the markets, people watch and pop into one of the many churches. I don’t know why (I need to do some research now that I am back) but Cuenca has an inordinate more churches and cathedrals. They boast having one of the largest cathedrals in the Americas (it was HUGE) and one of the oldest cathedrals in the Americas. It was nice to see a city outside of Guayaquil – it was very different than the big port city – had a lot more character. Two days later we reversed our trip and made it back to the ship without incident.

I’m quite proud that I fumbled my way through all the communicating to have a successful trip with such limited Spanish. I didn’t exactly come back relaxed and well rested (not only the stress of communicating but the high altitude made for very restless sleep) but once I was back to the ship I realized that just having time to be completely away from work was huge and desperately needed.

We are now on our way across the South Pacific headed towards Tahiti. We will get there in eleven days and be there for just two. I believe that life should settle down for me a bit on this leg of the journey. We have more time to prepare for our next full port stop and some of our systems and routines are finally taking shape.

Hopefully I will have time to post again before we get to Tahiti. Hope that all is well with everyone at home – take care!

I finally got away!

2007-10-15T18:06:00.000-04:00

Bus ticket to a city in the middle of Ecuador: $6
Hotel room and hot breakfast for 2 days: $44
Three meals in town: $22

A successful three day trip to city of Cuenca, Ecuador – with absolutely no pre-planning and no reservations: priceless

Crossing the Equator

2007-10-11T10:17:00.002-04:00

(I wrote this yesterday) Today I took part in an ancient maritime tradition – I donned a red curly wig, painted my face, wielded a sword and acted like a pirate. Yes, today was our Equator crossing ceremony. Since I am a trusty Shellback (meaning I have crossed the Equator before) I got to take part in initiating the slimy Pollywogs (meaning those who have never crossed the Equator).

This tradition was a bit of a challenge on this ship because almost everyone on the ship was a Pollywog. There were only eight of us who were Shellbacks. We pulled it off though. As the tradition goes, King Neptune and his court must board the ship and grant everyone permission to cross the Equator. The way he does this is by making the Pollywogs do a secret initiation to deem them worthy of being a shellback. We had a 250 lb king Neptune and our retired US Navy Captain dressed up as the Queen. The rest of the shellbacks dressed as pirates.

The initiation on Semester at Sea was much more extensive but we did ok. Since none of the executive team on the ship were shellbacks they were very resistant to agree to anything too grand. They were afraid what we were doing would be construed as hazing – which is just silly because there is no pressure and everything is totally optional and all in good fun. It was interesting to be a part of creating this ship’s initiation procedures. There were 5 of us who had become shellbacks on Semester at Sea, 1 became a shellback in the US Navy and 2 had become shellbacks on different research vessels – it was cool to hear all of the different types of initiation and try to blend them into something unique for TSS.

This all may sound really silly but it really is a long standing tradition. Research ships, military ships, passenger ships – you name it and they do some sort of King Neptune initiation ceremony when crossing the Equator. I’m proud of the picture I have of me being initiated as a shellback – fish guts and all (if anyone is interested I can show you the video when I’m back at home).

On to Ecuador we go!

Panama

2007-10-11T10:17:00.001-04:00

2nd port has come and gone. Our time in Panama seemed to fly by, even though I didn’t get to do a whole lot. Our berthing situation was tricky in Panama. On the first day we were anchored in the harbor and used tender boats to get ashore. Sounds easy enough right? Not when the water is choppy – it was crazy getting people in and out of boats when the boats are rolling crazily and waves are crashing up under the pontoon. It was so rough that they couldn’t let anyone off the ship on our first night – boy did that not go over too well. Everyone was upset until the next morning when they saw what a death wish it was to get on and off the boats.

On the evening of our first full day there we moved to a high security fueling port to berth. We were supposed to be there for 3 days and then anchor back out in the harbor again for the last two days. Luckily things changed and we were able to stay berthed the rest of our stay. Even though being berthed was preferable to tendering it was still not easy. Rodman terminal is an old US military base and because it is a fueling port it is high security and it’s pretty far outside the city. TSS did run shuttles to a big mall in Panama City during the day and to a popular tourist hot spot street in the evenings which helped.

After 14 days on the ship I was sooooo ready to get off the ship on our second full day there. This too, was not as easy as it sounded. Problem is I am tied to the ship most mornings to get trips off – by the time I am free there usually isn’t anyone around to do anything with. Normally I would be totally happy to do things by myself but since it was so tricky to get anywhere from our berth AND I was so shattered from having to troubleshoot so much – the thought of having to make even the simplest decision made me want to cry.

I solved that problem on the first day by taking an eight year old to the mall. Kyra is the third grade daughter of our Director of Student Life. Like me, she ends up being tied to ship a lot because her mom and dad are both working on the ship. So when I was finally free on the 2nd day I asked if she wanted to go to the mall with me. She was thrilled. So we took the shuttle to the mall and spent the whole day there. We window shopped, ate lunch and hunted animals. Yes, hunted animals. This gigantic mall is broken down into sections that are named after animals. A large statue of each animal can be found in each section so Kyra and I went hunting for all of the animal statues. In fact it was our quest to find the zebras and the lion (the last ones in our search) that caused us to miss the 2pm shuttle back to the ship. The next shuttle wasn’t until 4pm so what did we do to kill even more time at the mall? Got manicures of course. Kyra had never gotten a manicure and was excited about the idea. She was most impressed by the price of the manicures – only 4 dollars. All in all it was not a bad first day off the ship.

I think the highlight of my time in Panama was the day that I did a shore excursion to the Chagres River. The Chagres is one of the main rivers that feeds water into the Panama Canal (did I mention that the little bit I saw of us going through the canal was pretty cool). This trip took us down to the river and we got in a gigantic motorized canoe – fifteen of us in one canoe. We traveled down the river for about 20 minutes, then hiked through the woods and through streams for about 30 minutes more. This brought us to a gorgeous waterfall and watering hole. The swimming was great! There were the most beautiful giant brilliant blue butterflies flying all over the woods and near the watering hole. The water was a perfect temperature.

After swimming we hiked back and took the canoe back down the river about 15 minutes. We then stopped at an Embera Indian village. The Embera Indians are an indigenous tribe in Panama who lost all their forms of making a living (hunting and farming) when their land became part of a national park. Rather than lose their land they decided to stay and instead of hunting and farming they now make their living off of tourism. It’s weird - I’m usually uncomfortable in these kinds of situations. I usually feel like we are being horrible gawky tourists or I feel like the indigenous folks are just putting on a show for the tourists (and putting on their jeans and t-shirts as soon as we are gone). I didn’t feel either way in this village. They are very open and honest about the fact that they make their living off of tourism. At the same time they seem generally excited to share their culture with others and they see this as a way to preserve their culture.

We had a lovely lunch in the village – fresh tilapia, fried mashed plantains, fresh watermelon, pineapple, guava and bananas. They showed us the crafts that they make – out of nuts, roots and they super heavy wood. The women also make these beautiful baskets that take months to complete. We also got tattoos – some sort of dye from a tree that they use – similar to henna it will last about 7 days. After lunch they taught us some of their dances and I finished off the day by pulling out my bottle of bubbles and blowing bubbles with all of the kids – they loved it! It was a lovely day and one of the few where I really felt like I left the ship and work behind.

My other favorite memory of Panama has to be our last night. Ok picture this: Dana - a 69 year old retired US Navy Capt, Ken - a middle aged tall lanky bald Canadian business professor, Bachir - a short, balding, gregarious French man who teaches science in Morocco, Anne - a mid-30s blond Scottish woman (who works for Royal Car. and is helping us out til Ecuador) and Kim our totally fun loving Kiwi Shore Ex Manager. All five of them and I went out for dinner at a tapas restaurant in Old Panama on our last night. It was a really great meal – 11 courses for only $20. They put popcorn on the salad and it was actually pretty good. One of the courses was octopus – I usually find octopus or squid chewy but this delicious and super tender – even the large tentacles that were at least and inch in diameter. It was so nice to have some food with a lot of flavor. The food on the ship is very good but it is dining hall-type food so it is sometimes lacking in real flavor.

Well after dinner Kim convinces us that we should go to the nightclub where all of the students are having a last night in Panama party. It is a nightclub owned by one of the business owners who worked with one of our Academic Field programs all week. We find cabs and ask many different times and ways if they know where Crème is? They assure us yes they do and we take off through the city. They drop us off at this night club that clearly does not say Crème and looks like a local shady place. So what do we do? We start walking the streets looking for Crème, of course. Everyone we ask tells us something different or starts taking us to a different place. I’m sure we were looking like quite a cast of characters walking through the streets of Panama looking for this nightclub. Just as we were about to give up and the light rain that had been falling gets heavier we find the place. It was a total cheesy disco playing all the old favorites including I Will Survive and YMCA. The students were having fun and it was nice that we stopped by.

So you’d think that is where the adventure would end – but alas you would be wrong. About an hour later all of us but Kim decide to head back to the ship. Just as we walk outside there is a cab dropping off some students. So we start to negotiate a price to get back to the ship. We thought we had a deal but when all five of us cram in the cab driver starts negotiating again. Anne and Bachir who know the most Spanish start arguing and negotiating a price. This takes about 10 minutes. Finally we agree and off we go. We are about half way back to the ship when we start to cross the Bridge of the Americas and the cab starts to shake and shimmy and feels like it is losing power. The cab driver pulls over and we all get out thinking it’s probably a flat tire. No flat tire and no one knows what’s wrong with the car – it’s now 11:30pm and the five of us and the cab driver are all standing on this bridge. Hmm….so what do we do? Of course we get back in the car and cabbie tries to keep driving. Downhill we do ok but every time he goes uphill even the slightest bit we shake and shimmy and it feels like the power is just going to die. We aren’t going more than 5-10 miles per hour. Anne is freaking out – it’s the engine!, it’s the axel!, we are going to die! Everyone else is just laughing and hoping we can make it to the ship because we are in the middle of no where with no other cabs in sight. We final chug into the terminal – a trip that normally would take 20-30 minutes took over an hour. After all of that the cab driver actually tried to get more money out of us because of all the trouble – ha, ha! What a silly expedition for our last night.

All in all I enjoyed Panama. The people are generally friendly. There is a nice mix of South American, Caribbean and Central American influences in Panama. The Sangria was quite good. Panama City looks like it is in the middle of a huge redevelopment. They are improving the old city and there are tons of condos and other high rises going up in the city.

Now we are back out at sea. Only a three day trip to Ecuador – we arrive tomorrow. Hopefully I will get more time away in Ecuador.

Thanks to all of you who have left comments – these small notes from home keep me going. Thanks bunches!

Never a Dull Moment

2007-10-02T11:34:00.000-04:00

11 days to cross the Atlantic Ocean – over 4000 nautical miles. In some ways the last 11 days have flown by and in other ways it felt like we were never going to reach Panama. So was it smooth sailing? In some ways yes – we had beautiful weather and calm seas the entire journey. In fact at the half way point, right when we were smack dab in the middle of the Atlantic, we had a day where the ocean looked like a pond. No exaggeration it was like glass. So strange to see the North Atlantic so brilliant blue and calm. It was beautiful. I feel very privileged and honored to have had the opportunity to cross all the big oceans in the world more than once and experience them in their many forms.

As is true to form for life on a ship we did have some drama during this crossing. About day 4 we had ANOTHER student with a medical emergency. Well day four was not the best time to have a medical situation because we were about 2000 nautical miles from anywhere! Luckily the student was stable but the decision was made to speed up and get us closer to land as soon as possible. We sped up to about 18 knots (this ship only goes 21 knots) and you could really feel the speed difference. Luckily this was when we were in that super calm water so the increase in speed didn’t shake us around that much.

So on day eight we were in the Caribbean and close enough to land to do a medical evacuation. However we were still too far out for a medical boat to reach us. So what did they do? Well the US Coast Guard flew in with a medical helicopter and picked up the two students of course. Yes, I did say TWO students – by day 8 we had ANOTHER student with a medical condition that needed attention.

It was quite an experience to see the evacuation. The sky was brilliant blue and this bright red helicopter flew in and hovered over our back deck. One of the Coast Guard guys came down on a cable and they proceeded to lift one student up in a basket and the other student was raised up on a stretcher. I actually didn’t see most of the rescue but I was out there to see the Coast Guard officer raise back up on the cable and then saw the chopper take off for Puerto Rico.

So if any of you are counting we are now up to four students who have been medically evacuated – and we are less than 30 days into the voyage! There have been some questions raised around the decisions our shipboard doctor has made. Apparently there was some question as to whether or not the first two students evacuated really need to be evacuated. This doctor has never worked on a ship and he speaks very limited English (he’s Bulgarian) which has complicated all of these decisions. Don’t know if this is true but I’ve heard a rumor that we might be switching doctors in Panama. I’ll keep you posted on that one.

So how has life been for me during this last crossing? Well it was definitely better than our crazy trek to Portugal (I’m still having nightmares about that one). Having 11 days gave us much more time to prepare and get leaders and students prepared for their field programs in Panama. It was still crazy busy though. I’m having a difficult time finding balance. I’m sad to say that I didn’t make it outside these last 11 days more than maybe a cumulative total of an hour and a half. I’ve been working about 12 hour days and no matter how hard we plan and prepare everything ends up being done last minute and everything seems to go into crisis mode before it’s done. Most of that is because of our limited communication with the home office folks --- we plan and prepare and then at the last minute receive all kinds of crazy changes. Internet is a dismal mess – sometimes it takes 15 minutes to load my Yahoo Mail login page! Forget opening attachments -- that could be an all day task! It’s like watching paint dry. The satellite also went down A LOT our last few days before Panama.

Also working with the Executive Team onboard is still as challenging as it was before. I’ve never worked for a leadership team that operates so completely and totally in reactive mode. A problem comes up or someone complains and they jump to react – no thinking through things strategically or trying to look ahead and be proactive. It’s really hurt us in Port Programs because our department does not have a voice around the Executive Team table. So changes that impact our area have been made and we are never informed or consulted. It’s kind of infuriating. No matter how hard we try and keep the channels of communication flowing and no matter how many times things get screwed up because one of their changes has an impact that they didn’t realize (because they didn’t ask us!) our pleas seem to be falling on deaf ears. I was really hoping that after Portugal things would be less reactive and communication channels would be developed and utilized more but unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be happening.

I’m hanging in there though. I am really holding on to the idea that things should slow down after Ecuador. After Panama we only have three days before we arrive in Ecuador so we are scrambling to get everything done for both Panama and Ecuador simultaneously. Also Panama and Ecuador are tricky ports because of where we will be. In Panama we will be using tender boats part of the time and then once we get to shore it’s a 30 minute drive to the city. The other half of the time we will be in a highly restricted, high security fueling port that does not allow any vehicles to drive in nor can you just walk in – we will have to use shuttles to get us in and out of the port area. In Ecuador we are going to be berthed in an area where there is essentially nothing and it’s a 40 minute drive to the closest city. Both of those port situations will be particularly tough for those of us who have to work some during our port stay. You can’t just run off the ship and escape for a brief period. After Ecuador all of our berths are right in the middle of the cities we are in. So I’m hanging on til after Ecuador.

I hope that all is well with everyone at home. I think of all of you often and am missing seeing and talking to each of you. Take care – I’ll post again after Panama!

Bom Tarde

2007-09-21T14:05:00.001-04:00

Bom Tarde! (Good afternoon) I can’t believe that our first port has come and gone so quickly! I wish that I could say that I got to see tons in Lisbon but, alas, the job did not permit me to get off the ship much. So unfortunately I don’t have much reflection to share on Portugal. I did do a 2 hour city tour to get familiar with the city, however I was so utterly exhausted that it was difficult to focus or retain anything. I got out of the city twice – once to visit Tomar and Batalha – two places with big monasteries. One built in honor of the defeat of the Spanish and one where the Knights Templar were based (some believe that all of their treasures and the Holy Grail might still be hidden there). The second time I got out of the city was to visit Sintra – a quaint, small town about 40 minutes outside of Lisbon. Along the way we stopped at the spot that is the western most point in Europe. That’s kind of cool to say I’ve been there. Sorry I don’t have more thoughts or impressions to share. Hopefully I’ll have more time in future ports.

We are now headed across the Atlantic. It was a little rocky the first day out but it has since smoothed out and the weather is beautiful today. Hopefully everyone will stay healthy and the weather will stay nice so that we have an uneventful crossing. We are slated to go through the Panama Canal on October 1st so I will write again after our stay in Panama.

A Stressful First Leg

2007-09-20T13:20:00.000-04:00

The first leg on my SAS voyage were some of the longest, stressful days I’ve ever experienced. Unfortunately I have to say the same goes for my first leg on this TSS voyage – but for completely different reasons. Have no fear – no dramatic, perilous bouts of weather to report. This time around the stress and long days can be attributed to sheer frustration and lack of resources.

When I realized that I would be going on the INAUGURAL voyage of this program I did have some reservations but in the end the timing of this opportunity won out over any hesitations. Now that I am in the thick of it I’m realizing that being one of the pioneers of this huge endeavor is far less exciting and daring but definitely more trying, stressful and frustrating.

If I had hours I would try and share some of these frustrations but I think it’s much too much to get into here. Plus, I’d really like to block out the nightmare and not think about it anymore. Yes, it has been that bad.

There is some hope though – the Port Programs team that meets us in each port is trying to tackle and address some of the big issues and challenges our team had this first time out. Also, some of the challenges simply related to a total time crunch - not enough time to create systems and procedures AND communicate them AND make them all happen in an effective manner. This next leg to Panama is longer and we have already done a lot of the scrambling to create things so hopefully it won’t be paralyzingly crazy.

I’m trying to stay optimistic that things will get better and maybe be a bit easier (15+ hour days for 2 and half weeks straight are killing me). Our leg across the Atlantic will still be hectic and crazy but hopefully some things will be sorted out and things will start to gel.

Enough about my stress and drama. Let me tell you about some of the good things. The Port Programs team that I work with on the ship are fabulous. All three of us are driven, we are totally on the same page about things and our skills, talents and skills compliment each other amazingly well – better than any other team I’ve worked with before. If it wasn’t for Kim and Arthur I probably would have wanted to grab my passport and come running home as soon as we arrived in Portugal.

The students are also great – they have been more understanding and flexible than any group should ever be asked to be. Having so much diversity on the ship has been fun as well. One of the only bright spots all week was when one of the students from the UK taught salsa lessons the night before we arrived in Portugal. It was great fun to watch over 50 students and staff trying to learn to salsa. Unfortunately I was too exhausted and beat down to participate.

For those of you who are looking for some good drama – we did have a little excitement during our jaunt across the Mediterranean. On our 3rd day out we had a student with internal bleeding who’s condition worsened enough that we diverted to Sardinia for a medical evacuation. The ambulance boat came out to pick him up and then we continued on. THEN about 2 or 3 days later during the middle of the day we seemed to quickly change course, speed up and head straight through some pretty choppy waters (boy did that bring back bad memories). It was weird because as we continued it felt like the ship was leaning heavily towards one side.

Turns out we had a student with appendicitis and we were diverting to southern Spain for another medical evacuation. Apparently in old ships like ours they use water in the ballists to keep us stable and balanced. They had to make the course change so quickly that they didn’t have time to shift the water in the ballists ahead of time so we were slightly tilted until we reached the coast of Spain and the ambulance boat came out for the student. Then we were able to restabilize the ship. Both students are fine and one is even back on the ship with us already. Hopefully we’ve had our share of medical emergencies and our trip across the Atlantic will be uneventful.

Ok, well this entry feels dreadfully long so I will sign off for now. Thanks for listening! I'll have my Portugal post up in a couple of days.

Greece Insanity

2007-09-04T02:20:00.000-04:00

I’m here! I arrived in Piraeus around 3pm on Tuesday and dove right into training - didn’t even have time to change my clothes after traveling all night. Since then we’ve been training 13-16 hours a day. Normally that kind of schedule would be wiping me out but so far my energy level has been surprisingly good.

Let me share my first impressions:

The ship is fairly old – built in 1966. As the hotel manager said, “She is a very old lady”. The fact that she is old is actually kind of good news because she was designed to specifically to cross big oceans. She was built at a time when people still used ships to travel across the Atlantic or Pacific – unlike cruise ships that are built today to zip around the Mediterranean or Caribbean. This ship has a very deep V hull and can hold fuel for 30 days! So all of you that were worried about my last adventure at sea can all breathe easy because this ship is more than ready for our big ocean crossings.

As for looks – I have to admit I was a bit of a snob when I first boarded the ship. The ship felt shabby, dark and a little dated to me. It’s not really fair of me to compare this ship to the one I was on during SAS – that ship was only built in 2002 so of course it is brighter, newer and less dated (but of course we all know how she handled the oceans).

Every day I’m on the ship I’m appreciating her more and more. There is lots of natural wood all over the ship (not allowed on new ships), and my cabin is twice the size of my last one – 5 small closets, 2 twin beds, 2 bunks that pull out of the wall, 2 chairs and a desk/vanity area. The bathroom is equal to a regular bathroom at home and get this – I have a bathtub!! It’ll be great for doing laundry (yes, I’m hand washing a bit) and no bonking my head in the shower constantly like last time. The best part is all of the public space – it’s amazing! We have three gigantic group spaces, loads of lounging spaces, and decent space for classrooms. They are still transforming the ship as we speak – the gift shop, library, academic resource center, counseling center, gym and classrooms are being put together right now around us. I’ll be excited to see it all when it’s done.

The job is going well – I really like everyone so far and my team is frantically busy trying to create and piece together what our daily work will look like. My colleague has described what we are attempting to do as trying to build the plane and fly it at the same time – I’ve never heard a metaphor that is more true. We are trying to create every policy, procedure, process, form and system from complete scratch at the same time as we are learning our onboard booking system and preparing for students to board in just two days. It’s feeling exciting yet crazy at the same time.

Unfortunately I haven’t gotten to see a whole lot of Greece. During training the other day we got to spend the afternoon in Athens doing a scavenger hunt game so I got to see a little bit of Athens but not much. I have gotten off the ship a couple times in Piraeus – walked the streets, shopped in a corner store, ate a meal, saw a procession for a wedding go down the street and simply tried to soak in as much as I could.

Today our whole team is going to Athens for the student dinner and to reconcile all the trips in Athens before we leave Greece. We are hoping to go a little bit early so that we can explore Athens a bit more before we shove off.

Students arrive on the 5th and we set sail that evening. We now have internet in our office so email and blog posting should be ok as long as our ship systems stay up and running. It may be spotty at times though once students arrive because the system gets slllloooowwweeeerrr and slllloooowwwweeeeerrr the more people than are on it. Also I doubt I will have much time to communicate until after Portugal. We only have 8 days to design, create and implement EVERYTHING related to students and staff going ashore and going on trips (Gulp!).

Hope everyone who works in the academic world has had a smooth start to your school year. Take care and I’ll type atcha soon.

Condensing Life into Two Bags

2007-08-27T11:36:00.000-04:00

5 pairs of shoes, one pair of jeans, 3 skirts, 3 tank tops, 5 shirts, 2 bathing suits, 15 pairs of underwear, 4 bars of soap, 18 pairs of contacts, one bottle of shampoo, OH MY!

How does one prepare for an eight month journey and pack as if you are only going to be gone for a couple weeks? If I was traveling on my own to another country I’d probably only take one backpack but packing to live on a ship is a completely different challenge – I need work clothes, dress clothes, travel clothes, clothes for hot weather, clothes for cold weather, computer, work materials, photos from home, first aid and medicine, beach towel, and on and on. And I have to fit it all into two fifty pound bags!

It’s no easy task but believe it or not it’s one of my favorite challenges. I’ll say it – I’m a good packer. During my last voyage I was quite proud because I used 99.9% of what I took and didn’t feel that I was missing anything significant – I was dead on in my choices. This time around has been a little tougher only because I had to move my life into storage last month and have been living out of boxes and bags since then. It is a real bitch when you start pulling things to pack and can’t remember where you put something or realizing that it’s packed in some random box at the back of your storage unit. I’m so thankful that I had it so easy the last time around – I think I would have gone crazy if I had to pack in this manner last time (THANK YOU to Mark and Trista for allowing me to keep my home in Maryland with them in 2005).

You never know until you are there what you’ll really need – what the cabin will be like, what the ship will offer, what ports will have toiletries you need, etc. but I’ve been fairly ok with the frustrations of packing after moving to storage just because I do have a solid idea of what I will most likely need and want with me. It’s also been a comfort to know that my dad is meeting me in Hong Kong in December (exactly half way through my eight months) so anything I desperately need he can bring along to me.

I just finished packing my bags and would you believe that they both weigh about 48 lbs? I wasn’t even trying that hard – resigned to the fact that I might have to pay an overweight baggage fee on one of them. HA HA – what luck! Not a bad start.

Now I’m off to shower and then head to the airport. I don’t know how soon in Greece I’ll be able to post something because we dive right into training as soon as we land but I’ll try and post something when the ship leaves Greece on September 5th.

Thanks and Gratitude

2007-08-25T22:30:00.001-04:00

Not many people know that I have kept a gratitude journal for about eight years now. Every night I write something that I am thankful for from the day. I saw it on the Oprah show many years ago and when I was in Gettysburg I started doing it. It is a great way to always be looking for the positive in life. It’s also a great gauge on how life is faring for me at the moment – if it takes me a long time to think of something to be thankful for that day then it’s usually a sign that all is not right in my life and I need to reassess what I’m doing and where I’m at.

As I prepare for this big journey the things I am thankful for in life are overflowing. I know that it is only because of the generosity, flexibility, patience, kindness and encouragement from many people in my life that I’ve been able to seek out this opportunity and go for it. For that reason I feel compelled to share some thanks before I embark on this journey.

I’m thankful to my parents for encouraging me to always try new things and never discouraging me even if, at times, they didn’t understand my choices (I think they finally understand that the work world really has changed and me switching careers every 3-4 years is not necessarily a sign of indecisiveness or flightiness). I’m thankful for my grandparents being able to give my sister and me money to pay for part of college so that both of us could get out of school without any debt – I definitely couldn’t take this job if I had debt.

I’m thankful for employers, co-workers and friends that can see beyond job titles and credentials and see the whole of one’s experience and skills and how they can apply in multiple fields and environments.

I’m thankful for all the experiences in life that have expanded my comfort zones, and successfully battled my easily out of control tendency to worry, worry, worry. I’m thankful for my planning and organization skills, my thorough attention and capacity for crazy amounts of details, and my training and teaching skills. All of the above will not only help me to succeed in this job but to help me enjoy it as well.

I’m thankful to my mom for dealing with all of my crap at her house as I prepare and pack. I’m thankful to Becky, Danny, Mark and Trista for understanding why I will miss so many things this year in life and loving me anyway.

I’m thankful for my dad and his sense of adventure and love of travel – it makes me feel much less crazy when I want to run around the world two more times (maybe the travel bug is hereditary??). I’m thankful for my friend Karen and how she has inspired me with her own adventurous choices in life (and really “getting” why I make the choices I do).

I’m thankful for all the friends I’ve made along the way that make the effort to stay connected even when life takes us in very different directions – the Algonquin gang, Towson friends, Gordy/Morris/Sweeney families, etc – these friendships are comforting because whether it’s one month, one year or even five years a part – just a few minutes together and we slip back into an easy, comfortable friendship. I’m thankful for all of the friends I have such a long history with – sharing the good, the bad and the ugly and seeing each other through to the other side no matter how much we have evolved differently in the process is a pretty rare and precious thing (Becca has it really been 15 years??). I’m thankful too for all of the friends that encourage me and support me along the way (Jenny and Susan your letters were a touching comfort last time around). I’m thankful for my friends in Philly that are already proving to be more than just “friends of convenience” (Laura and Chris –thanks for driving to the beach this weekend). I’m thankful for Mark and Trista not only including me in their family unconditionally but offering me a place in their home upon my return. I’m thankful to my sister and Danny and my mom for also offering space for me in their homes. Being so unsettled can be unsettling and stressful but having so many people offering options makes me feel loved (and less like a unemployed loser).

And thanks to all of you for cheering me on, reading my journals and sharing my journals. Writing them has always helped me to feel more connected to home and I’m glad that so many people have enjoyed them.

I Need Your Help

2007-08-19T15:26:00.000-04:00

Eight months – that is feeling like a really long time to be gone. When I left for my last voyage four months felt like a long time, but I quickly realized that four months goes by really quickly. I really didn’t miss that much while I was gone. But eight months is feeling so much bigger, so much scarier than four months ever did.

At first I thought it was feeling big because most of my adult life has been lived in semesters – four month increments that do fly by. But then I realized that all of us – whether you work in higher ed or not – live in four month increments. As the summer comes to an end it’s only four months until Christmas, then it will only be four months until Spring, then only four months until the end of summer and the start of school. Four months feels reasonable, manageable, long enough to have an adventure but not long enough that I miss too much here at home. I guess that’s why eight months is feeling so much bigger to me this time.

I’ve already thought about all that I will miss this year… My god daughter will be talking when I get back. My college roommate’s newborn will be pulling himself up and getting ready to walk. I’ll miss every holiday and I’ll miss a whole TV season (I know that’s lame I even thought about that). My sister and her husband will have been in their new house for almost a year and I will never have even seen the inside (they close on the house four days after I leave). And here is the real kicker – when I come back I will have a one month old niece or nephew! Yup, I’m going to miss almost all of my sister’s pregnancy, the birth and their first month home. The reality of eight months away really hits me with that one!

I know that once I’m on the ship and focused on work and the adventure that time will fly by like always and when I come back I’ll be able to slip back into old relationships like we didn’t skip a beat. I know that…intellectually. That doesn’t make it any easier to come to terms with all of the things I will miss.

The weight of eight months is also weighing heavy on my shoulders because last time I lived on the ship was the first time that I ever experienced homesickness. Not having a phone to pick up when I want or a TV or movies to distract me or a familiar friend to chat with or go to lunch with all made ship life hard at times. I made good friends on the ship last time, and know I will this time as well, but there is something different about spending time with a friend you have history with, a friend who really knows you, a friend who knows your quirks and your past. It’s hard to go for a long period of time with very limited contact with any of those friends and family.

That is where I could use your help. While I’m gone I want to hear about what’s going on in your lives here. I think last time people were afraid to send me updates about their own lives because they thought I would not be interested or feel it’s mundane compared to my world adventure. Let me make it perfectly clear….THAT IS NOT TRUE. I love hearing about what is going on here…I need to hear what’s going on here…it really helps me feel connected and less homesick. Tell me about your day…keep me up on work gossip…what’s going on in the news?...how about Hollywood trash news?...give me an update on what’s happening on the hot TV shows…tell me about your trip to the grocery store…whatever you want. Everything helps me feel less homesick and less out of the loop with home.

Email is the best way to communicate – we will have internet on the ship and I should be able to get on email every couple of days. Please send me updates on your life – send pictures, tell stories, any tidbit will do. It doesn’t have to be some grand story or adventure. It’s the simple things in normal life that I am going to miss most.

Thank you for your help! Only eight days til take off!

Torn Between Two Worlds

2007-08-11T13:33:00.000-04:00

Who knew that a month of unemployment could be so busy? I’ve spent the last two weeks running around on what I like to call my Friends and Family tour – visiting everyone I can in Maryland and Virginia before I leave. I also had the chance this week to spend a few days in Baltimore working and absorbing at the home office of my new job. I got to meet some of the people I will sail with, got to see some of the behind the scenes stuff that I will be taking over in Greece and just generally began absorbing this huge task ahead of me. It’s going to be a big job.

I find myself currently feeling torn between wrapping up life here in the states – saying my goodbyes, visiting, packing, trying to find time to relax (haven’t found that yet but I’m still hoping) – and starting to focus on my new job responsibilities – there are so many things to prepare, begin planning and just simply learn, absorb and understand (I sometimes just sit at the computer or lay in bed staring not sure where to even begin). I want and need my priority to be focusing on wrapping up things here but at the same time I feel the need to focus on preparing for the new job so that I don’t feel completely overwhelmed when I arrive in Greece. The struggle has been that I find myself not being completely “present” to either task. While I was in Baltimore I found my head not totally “in the game” at times because of thoughts of the other things I need to do/people I need to see. And when I’ve been spending time with friends and family I find myself distracted thinking about work.

I think I’ve decided that my goal for these last two weeks is to dedicate one to two hours a day to work stuff but then I will leave it alone, try not to stress about it, and just focus on what I need to do here. We’ll see how that goes.

And the Roller Coaster Begins...

2007-08-02T18:31:00.000-04:00

Making the decision to leave your job, pack your entire life into a storage unit and take a job that pays next to nothing and live in a tiny cabin for 8 months so that you can see the world isn’t that difficult of a decision when you are sitting in a comfortable home and spending your steady paychecks and living in a community where you are comfortable and have friends and support. It’s not that hard of a decision at all – it sounds exciting – it feels adventurous.

Well last week I started the part of this process that feels much less exciting and far less adventurous. I dove head first into the process of ripping my nice, comfortable life here in Philly from it’s very seams. Friday, July 20th was my last day at work. While I definitely feel it was time for me to make this career move I can’t help but think how much I will miss the tight-knit community and camaraderie that exists working in a small hotel environment.

It was hard to say goodbye but leaving work turned out to be the easy part (we’ll see if I’m still saying that after the paychecks stop). I spent all last week packing up my apartment and moving it all into storage. Talk about stress – I couldn’t sleep…thinking about how to pack, what’s going to storage, what’s going to my mom’s house, will it all fit in the truck, will it all fit into storage, how will I get that huge desk out of my room….and on and on and on. Luckily all of my stress was totally unfounded and my move went surprisingly smoothly. No problems with the rental truck, an hour and half for two of us to load everything into the truck and a half hour for 4 of us to load it all into storage.

As I emptied cabinets, drawers and closets – becoming more and more appalled at just how much stuff I have – I thought about the reflection email I sent during my last voyage. In reflecting on the lessons I learned I talked about how US Americans have way too much “stuff” in our lives. In an effort to “live” the lessons I learned on that voyage I did make a concerted effort to rid my life of excess “stuff” over the past two years. Despite that effort I still have enough “stuff” to fill a 10 x 15 storage unit. How depressing. On the bright side – I did do a lot of purging and didn’t allow myself to pack ANYTHING that I hadn’t used in the last year. What can I say? I guess I rationalize by saying that I’m not 23 anymore – when I am living in the US I want my crock pot, I want my coffee grinder, I want my million throw blankets, I want my pictures on the wall and displays of some of my goodies from abroad, I want to live comfortably and not like I’m in waiting for my “real life” to start. So if that means renting a 14 foot truck and having to get help with the move than so be it.

So anyway, I started thinking about all the crazy stress I was feeling and started wondering why? Yes, I haven’t moved in two years and yes I had more stuff than before but my stress level still seemed out of proportion to the move. Let’s be serious – I’ve moved 22 times since I left for college (ok so if I take out the 16 moves during college than I’ve still moved 6 times in the last 10 years) – so moving is nothing new to me.

I think part of the stress came from the fact that I am almost 33 years old and I thought maybe I would be more settled in my life at this point. I started having those crazy doubts – what was I thinking taking this job?...this means that I won’t be settled anywhere for at least another year….am I really getting on a ship with hundreds of people not knowing a single soul?....I’m really going to do a job search while being unemployed?...am I totally crazy??? See what happens when I’m not working and have too much time on my hands? – I obsess like a mad woman. Well after all of my fears of moving were unfounded these doubts started to settle down. I do know that this is what I’m supposed to do next. It is extremely inconvenient to pack my whole life away and live out of two bags for a year but the rewards will far outweigh the inconvenience. This endeavor feels scary but without change there is no growth.

I have irrational doubts and fears all the time so I knew that all of the stress wasn’t coming solely from that. What was it then? I put my finger on it late last week. I think I’m mourning leaving Philly. I never thought of myself as a city girl but I have absolutely loved living here. I hate the parking (or lack there of), I hate worrying about my car being side-swiped, I hate my freezing cold apartment in the winter and the fact that I still live in a place with no closets, I hate that you can’t buy a cocktail for under $9. Despite those frustrations there are so many things that have endeared me to this city. The coffee shop and ice cream shop around the corner from my apartment, the ease of navigating the streets (William Penn and Ben Franklin planned it out right!), the fact that Philly is the 6th largest city in the US but yet somehow has a small town feel (9 times out of 10 I see someone I know when I’m in Center City), all of the green spaces, parks, running and biking trails, the fact that I can walk everywhere in the city, the distinct feels of different neighborhoods, the smells, the energy and the fabulous fresh produce at the Italian Market….my list of loves could go on and on…

I love walking home from work with friends and deciding to spontaneously stop and grab dinner at the new restaurant in the neighborhood. I love my boot camp exercise class at 6am on the steps of the Art Museum. I love not having to drive my car for 3 weeks at a time and never worrying about traffic. I love that I’m in better shape than I have been in years because of all the walking I do and the convenience of running and bike trails all over the city. I love all the great people that I have met in this city.

Looking back I think this is the first time since I left Salisbury that I am really mourning leaving a place. During my other moves I always mourned something – the people, the work, my roommates, etc. but not the place I lived.

It was sad to lock my apartment for the last time this week and turn the keys over to the landlord. Even if I some day come back to the city it will never be the same as it’s been these past two years – the neighborhoods and people are always changing. I will always cherish my two years here and am comforted by the fact that I will only be a short train-ride away when I return to NJ in May.
So as the title of this post reflects – as I begin this adventure in earnest my emotions are rollercoastering up and down and all over the place. I know that this is just part of the process and there are more ups and downs to come. All I can do is hang on and soak in every part of this ride

A Daring Adventure

2007-07-16T18:36:00.000-04:00

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” – Helen Keller

For some people their "daring adventure" is starting a new job, going back to school, moving to a new town, getting married, having a baby, etc. At the moment my "daring adventure" is taking me on a crazy turn in both my career and in my life. Some of you may even say that I have taken this quote too literally when you hear what I am up to next because my next adventure has a whole lotta daring and a huge serving of adventure.

At the end of the summer I am getting on ship in Greece and not coming home until the end of April – yes I’m going away for eight months and traveling around the world two more times! I will begin work for a new company called The Scholar Ship (http://www.thescholarship.com/). This organization is similar to Semester at Sea - a ship full of college students traveling around the world in one semester studying and learning together. Three big differences between TSS and SAS: SAS is probably 99% US students, faculty and staff while TSS is intentionally recruiting students, faculty and staff from all over the world (over 115 countries to date) so that the shipboard community will be as diverse as the itinerary of countries we visit. Secondly, TSS is focusing very heavily on having every experience students have in port (even independent travel) link back to their academics (hence my job during the spring semester - see below). Thirdly, TSS will have undergrad AND grad students studying and researching onboard (43% of the student body are grad students).

So what will I be doing? I will be taking on what I think will be the two hardest jobs of my life. During the Fall 2007 voyage I will be working as the Logistics Manager for Port Programs (for you SAS folks it’s similar to Field Office Coordinator) – managing the logistics, itineraries, and details for all of the Academic Field Programs in each port for 400+ students and staff. During the Spring 2008 voyage I will be working as the Experiential Education Specialist for Port Programs – working with faculty to create and promote reflection and debrief activities to help students link what they are experiencing in port to what they are learning in the classroom. The Experiential Ed position was the original one for which I applied (for the full 8 months – that is how their staff positions work) and it’s too long of a story to go into here to explain how it came to be the way it is but basically they wanted me for both voyages (but only the spring was open for Exp Ed) and we were able to work it out when the Logistics Manager position for the fall unexpectedly became available.

So that’s my news. Crazy, huh? Kind of scary and at times I become short of breath when I think about these things…

I’m 32 and going to pack up my life again and store it all away

I’m going on the INAUGURAL voyage of this new program (I did my homework on them but it’s still the first voyage EVER)

I’m going to have create everything in both jobs basically from scratch

I’m going to live in a tiny cabin for ¾ of a year

I’m going to have to battle sea sickness and the general lethargy that goes along with living on a ship

I’m going to go for 8 months with no weekends, down days or even much time to breathe

I’m going to come back and have to do a job search while being unemployed (complicated by the fact I have no idea what I want to do next)

Every time these worries and fears cross my mind I just remember these other things that take my breath away…

I’m going to travel around the world 2 more times

I’m going to visit 17 countries (only 3 are repeats for me!)

I’m going to have the most spectacular view of the moon, stars and the ocean for 8 months

I’m going to again be lulled to sleep at night by the rumble of the engines and the rocking of the waves (hopefully nothing like the Spring 05 voyage!)

I’m going to meet, work with and learn from people from all over the world in beautiful places all over the world

I’m going to work in an intense and energized environment focused on creating opportunities that challenge students’ comfort zones and worldviews.

I’m going to work with a team of people all focused on and passionate about broadening students’ and their own world experiences, knowledge, and cultural understandings and competencies

Am I crazy? Maybe, but all I can tell you is that this feels right – this is what I’m meant to do next in my life. This blog will be devoted to chronicling this next great adventure. I invite you to laugh with me (or at me), search with me, struggle with me and learn with me throughout this journey. So come on along and join me for my next “daring adventure”!